Grabbers Page #3

- Pfft, he says a lot of things.

- Mostly bollocks.

- Whatever.

But if it needs water to survive, how

could it be moving about on dry land?

It was raining.

When it's raining,

there's no such thing as dry land.

There's a storm due tonight.

It'll piss it down.

Okay, all of this.

This area must be it's territory.

Which would mean,

it's got to be somewhere with access

to the waters around the west beach.

Black Rock Caves. I caught

the female just beyond there.

You know what's to blame for

all this? Global warming.

You got your icebergs melting,

and your thingamajigs flooding.

The whole world is drowning, and we

have don't have the gills for it.

- What?

- I didn't say anything.

- You gave me that look.

- What look?

The "I feel sorry for you" look.

- No, I didn't.

- Yeah, you did.

No, I gave you the "I feel embarrassed

for you" look. Big difference.

Sh*t, that's worse.

Listen, I know I'm no

'dandy fop PhD' Smith's type...

What's Smith got to do with

your raging alcoholism?

I'm not a raging alco...

You're some character, you

know that? A real character.

- I'm a social drinker.

- Mhm, I'm sure you are.

Now look, the tide's coming in.

So, another hour and this

place will be underwater.

Brandy McGuire drowned in there,

so be careful now.

- Wait here.

- You can be sure of that.

Wow!

- Are we missing some fishermen?

- Huh?

Oh, my God!

- Hello!

- Geez, my heart!

What are you doing?

Just checking. What? You

know of a better way, hmm?

Hello!

What are you expecting?

"Hello, it's only me"?

Run!

Move! Come with me!

- Lisa, hurry! Hurry!

- I'm trying!

- Would you move your ass!

- Get your hands off my ass!

Go!

Come on, get up!

- You okay?

- The size of it!

We're okay. It can't

get through that gap.

Ooh, Jesus! Whoa...

- Leg it!

- Okay, go! Go!

Paddy! Run! Run! Run!...

Come on!

Haven Point Garda Station, please hold.

No, Regan, wait! No, we've got an

emergency! A real one, huge one!

What? Did you run out

of whiskey, O'Shea, huh?

Give me the phone. We need the ERU now!

Look, there is a storm coming. Coast

Guard's called all boats back to port.

Now whatever it is, it's gonna have

to wait till the morning, all right!

Oh, good. You are back.

Listen, I have a theory.

Those whales were killed as a

food source for their spawn.

- The eggs are buried at the beach!

- Oh, yes, exactly.

- Yeah, we know.

- Oh.

And well done.

What are you doing?

Everywhere this has been,

the other one's followed!

- You found another one? Where?

- It tried to eat us!

And it's huge! And it's looking for her!

Are you mad? Don't do that.

Smith, it's for the best!

No... if he lights

that in here, he'll...!

Get it wet. Yo-u-u... really are Irish.

- Can I shut it off?

- I'll-a... see youse later, lads.

- No, it's that one here!

- No, it's not!

- No, it's not that one!

- It's not that one!

Is it dead?

It think it's just resting...

O'Shea! Oh, my God!

It's trying to f*** me face!

Stand up!

Vicious little f***!

Oh...

There goes THE scientific

discovery of our time.

Imagine all that we

could've learned. Oh...

Still moving?

We are gonna need to get

help for the mainland.

Oh, they'll never get across the water.

What if those eggs hatch,

there's no whales to eat...

Yes, they will head inland to feed.

Finishing each other's sentences, now?

- What?

- Nothing.

I would've helped,

but I have a bad back.

Gives me shocking pain,

you know, yourself.

- How are you still alive, huh?

- Diet and exercise.

Took three of us to get

that thing off of me.

I was always lucky.

Yeah, it mustn't have

liked your blood much.

What have you been eating?

I had a banana and a

bag of chips yesterday.

You were drunk.

They are like leeches, right?

Feed off the blood.

Well, when one of them bit Paddy,

it almost died. Why?

Because Paddy was so intoxicated,

his blood alcohol level was toxic.

Exactly, if we taint our blood with

booze, we are poisonous to eat.

Uh, yeah, in theory.

You told me to cut back.

Tomorrow we'll be sore, so they'll...

that we will get off the island. They'll

nuke the beaches or whatever they do.

But all we have to

worry about is tonight.

It's simple.

We have a 'lock-in'.

We stay out of the rain, and we drink.

- What?

- Listen, it's a hostile, migratory...

- Grabbers.

- For God's sake.

- Are you for real?

- Show him.

That? Should've killed

that with a hammer.

No... That's just the tip of

the blood-sucking iceberg.

Grabbers?

Okay, I give up.

Yes, it's a grabber. Well done.

But if it's allergic to alcohol,

couldn't we just hose it down

with vodka or some sh*t?

- No... That won't work.

- How'd you know? Give it a go. Why?

Can't, see because

alcohol is a poison, yes,

but it has to be ingested

to have an effect.

Could we not just spray

some whiskey in it's mouth.

Feck that. Waste of whiskey.

If you want to get that

close to it, good luck.

- What's going on here, then?

- Just discussing something.

- Looks like you are plotting something?

- No, no, no, no, no.

Em, it's more like, em... planning.

Oh, carry on.

Great, it's her birthday next week. Now

she thinks this is something for her.

The only people that

know about this are us.

It's gotta stay that way,

or we'll have a panic on our hands.

- So how drunk are we talking here?

- Paddy-levels of drunkenness.

Have you gone off your game, boy?

Uh, no offence, but I don't think

my body can handle Paddy-levels.

Takes years of practice.

And with everyone hammered, there's no

one in a fit state to call the shots.

- I'll keep order. I won't be drinking.

- You? Then we'll both do it.

Well, that would put you both at risk.

I suggest it's just O'Shea.

Thanks. Only one of us need to risk it.

And I know these people, this island,

better than you. Should be me.

I see what you're doing here. But have

you forgotten you are a dependent...

alcoholic organising a piss-up in a

brewery? I'll do it. It'll be easier.

Lisa, I'm good to no one when I drink.

I know that. So do you.

I can do this.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

But just so you know, I don't drink.

I've never even been drunk.

- I don't know if I can.

- Of course you can.

And you'll be the best drunken

garda this country's ever seen.

You'll probably get promoted.

Right, okay, well,

if we are going to do this, we'll need

a blood test from a healthy subject.

- Lisa, you are the fittest person here.

- Oh, you charmer. It's true though.

Brian, I want a table of

everything Paddy had last night.

- What night was last night?

- Saturday.

- Oh, you gotta be joking me.

- Coming up.

He never likes me as much as her.

She was always the talented one.

Daddy's little girl. B*tch!

But, I threw him out, for you guys.

And I love you all.

Even you.

She's langered (drunk).

For the size of her,

she's having her day good.

Yeah, that's the lot.

Hm, it's extraordinary. Well done, you.

Thank you.

- I also had a snifter of...

- What's that?

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