Group Sex Page #4

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It was.. what was it Andy?

Perff, dreadful.

Err.. What didn't you like about it?

We do not like ...

the part where you were...

pressing the keys down and making noise.

Everything else was spot on, you know, the hair ...

love that, love that you were

spitting while you were singing..

River's got half his

Breakfast in his beard ...

I love to know what he have for breakfast this morning.

- That was good.

- That was good~.

So err, mangled spitting, singing, those were good notes.

Good meeting, guys. Let's crank it up!

What? Come on.

- They are a great musical team.

- I know, I know...

I'm not worried about them..

Vanessa is just...

Look, Andy. I'm not gonna lie to ya'.

This is a rough situation.

I mean, maybe I'm missing something..

but, this girl is.. a sex addict.

Right? Which mean she is addicted to sex.

Hello? Low hanging fruit!

Pull it off the goddamn tree already!

Are you listening to anything I'm saying?

- She hates me.

- I know, she hates you! Which is a good thing.

Hatred is like foreplay for this sex monsters.

You know you belong in

these meetings. You know that right?

You should have seen what kind of freak they

thought I was when I started talking like you

Okay. Well you clearly used me

out of context.. 'cause..

what I have is a

gift, not a disease.

- Oh, you're a gift?

- Yes!

Every woman has at least one thing that

gets her highly excitable.

I find out what that one thing is and I work it.

Until ecstasy is the inevitable result. Exactly!

This is a skill that very few possess.

It's a God given talent, Andy.

You know what, I'll clarify at the next meeting.

Yea.. Wait. What? No..

Hey, hey. Look, look right here. That is never going to happen.

You understand that? You are never ever coming to a meeting with me. You got it?

You know what you need?

Fresh perspective.

Come on, look at the way she controls

that beast with her thigh muscles.

That's the way they talk to the horses, you know.

With the thigh muscles.

That's good.

Oh man, women who

ride horses are super sexualized. That's a fact.

And that's why young girls loves unicorn.

It's essentially white horses with a dick on its' head.

It's a no brainer. We go down to the equestrian centre..

we stand on the side of the field,

we wait for them to just ride around to get wet and ready.

That's what riding does, it gets them all

wet and ready.

What? I'm serious.

When that chick gets off her horse,

she's gonna go rub one out.

And we'll be the only thing standing

between that horse and that chick..

doing her beef trips.

Oh, please don't say "beef trips."

Look at them bounce. I love it.

- Hello?

- Who's that?

- Donny.

- Is that relish?

- Tell him I'm a fan. I'm a fan relish!

- Shut up.

- Yea, what's the problem?

- Andy, get off the phone. Come on man, fresh perspective.

- There's a problem with Herman.

- Who the f***'s Herman?

- It's one of the guys in the group.

- Oh, come on. The hell's with them, let's go!

- Wait, hooker!?

- Andy, Andy. Come on man, the jumpers alone cost me $300.

Are you coming?

- There he is, there he is.

- Oh, alright.

- What's going on?

- A'ight, here's the situation..

he's been in his van for almost an hour.

We tried to talk him down.

- Nothing's working, bro.

-I.. I thought he called you guys for help?

- Yea, he did.

- Yes, there is.. there was a phone call, yes..

but then he just got this far away sound

in his voice and he was cut off.

like he wasn't himself anymore and

now he won't even answer his cellphone.

He totally shut us down, bro.

- What's up with that pant? Seriously.

- You ride?

Look, he'll listen to you, okay?

'Cause you've been there before..

- But we're ...

- Don't look at 'em, bro..

It is such a friendly neighborhood.

I gotta go. I'm in a good place right now..

and it's just not good to be here.

So I'm gonna bolt, good luck!

Seriously brother, this place is way too cheap, man..

you can get blonde for a bucket of chicken and

I just got paid, brother.

- We're out of here.

- What do you guys mean, you guys gotta bolt?

What am I supposed to.. I don't know what to say to him.

We're gay! We're gay!

You gotta be..!

Go away!

Alright.

So, what's.. what's going on?

Whatever it is that you did..

it's.. it's done now..

Why don't we just go home?

I did'nt.. f***ing.. do anything yet.

What do you mean?

Rock ...

Are we going to do some business or what?

It stinks like rat poison back here ...

and I didn't agree to no threeway.

You guys are kinky and little jocky?

No-uh, that's extra.

Did you forget how to blow?

- F*** you, Ramon.

- You're not allowed, remember?

Shut up.

A hundred long lonely nights of celibacy.

Three things got me through.

My waterpick,

breaking boards to the head,

and seein' your ugly faces every week.

That really killed my sex drive. I love you guys!

And love you too, Tiffany.

What are you freaks celebrating, huh?

Let me guess. You all got together, jizz on a cookie..

and you got to eat 'em, huh, mericon'..

I love you guys. I love you...

because you all wants to f*** me..

and that's incredibly good for my self-esteem.

I'll go cut this up.

You know my self-esteem is not that high ...

but it would be a lot lower

if it were'nt for a special someone...

who got my ass out of a

very sticky situation.

- To Andy.

- No, I'm talking bout the hooker.

She's lookin' hot!

To Andy!

- It's raining.

- I know.

- I drive a scooter.

- Youre gonna get wet.

Damn it, open the door!

- I'll be just a minute.

- Take your time.

Most of 'em are sleeping.

It's just this little girl right here...

who has a hard time. Yea, baby.

It's okay, Paula Abdul. I'm here now.

She only falls asleep in my arms.

Are you on the clock right now?

What am I supposed to do?

You know I think I might have misjudged you.

Yeah?

You're even sicker than I thought.

You're home late.

Jesus Jerry, you scared the sh*t out of me.

Anywhere on your calendar does it

says "Drinks with Reeves?

Oh sh*t. I'm sorry, man.

I totally forgot about that.

Yea, apparently he was going to talk

with us about something important, something about our future..

Is he gonna make us partner?

Oh, I don't know, we were'nt there to find out.

What I do know, is that Dinki Donuts

would be the biggest account that Reeves' ever had

- Yea, I know.

- I also know that right now we have no shot at it.

Why?

Well, maybe it's because you're doing it again, Andy.

You're changing, you're becoming the object of your affection.

Will the real Andy grow a sack of nuts

and be counted for

who you are instead of who you're with.

Alright, you're talking out your ass.

Andy, I've known you since forever.

This is your fatal flaw.

With women you're a.. you're a

chameleon like one of those color changing lizards.

I know what a chameleon is, Jerry.

Come here. Sit down, I want to show you something

I've been working on a long time.

Andrew.

[ Andy Youngman :

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