Growing Up and Other Lies Page #6
- NOT RATED
- Year:
- 2014
- 90 min
- 92 Views
Bunch of a**holes!
Anyway, boys' breakfast
turns into couples' brunch,
which eventually
becomes birthday parties.
Completely elaborate, unnecessarily
complicated birthday parties
at which I am dressed
as a pirate.
And somebody's gotta
take you to breakfast.
I haven't had pancakes
in eight years.
I'll make you pancakes.
Sh*t!
What? I'm doing it now. Now.
You're doing it now?
Dad!
Yes, I... I'm getting
the dessert.
What do you mean, what
have I been doing?
I'm... I've been
playing with children!
Now!
Ricky, not now.
Ricky, that's enough. Now!
Before the party
that I organized...
Dad!
I planned this!
Oh. Okay.
Guys, I need to tell you something.
Oh, look who it is!
Jake, it's my partner.
You know the guy
I've been lying to all day
so that we could go out
and have an adventure,
that guy, remember that?
Yeah, I do.
Unconscionable.
Yeah, I know, I got the files.
You know what, I'm actually
on my way to the
doctor's right now.
He's gotta go. F*** you! Oh.
Gunderson, what the f***!
- What the f***!
- "What the f***!"
This... No, this is not a joke, okay?
This is my job.
Oh, it's not a joke? No.
Is this a f***ing joke, "This
is a Tattoo?" All right, guys.
You know what,
I told you before that
- I didn't know that you got a tattoo.
- Okay.
Oh, you didn't
know I got a tattoo. Guys.
That is correct. For one
second, if I could just...
And anyway mine
is completely different.
Rocks.
What? Just leave me out.
What... Rocks!
Yeah, fine.
He knew.
Rocks!
"This is not a Tattoo" tattoo,
he decided it'd be ironic
if he got a "This is
a Tattoo" tattoo.
It doesn't matter.
Who cares?
That's not ironic, you imbecile.
Yeah, it is!
No, it's not!
You have a tattoo
that says it's a tattoo.
That's the exact opposite
of what "ironic" means!
Yeah, but that
is the ironic part.
No, it's not. Yes, that's
what I was going for.
You're a f***ing idiot.
F***ing stop it, okay?
Gunderson, you are a
sh*t-face, you know that?
You're an inconsiderate
sh*t pile!
All right.
You know what?
You know what?
I wish that I let your stuff
burn up in that room.
You f***ing...
Ow!
Cut it out, guys.
You son of a...
So civil.
What are you doing?
Stop. Enough. Billy!
Leave him alone! Get off of him!
I will pummel you!
All right. Fine! It was me!
All right, it was me!
I did it.
Not Gunderson, me.
It was me!
Stop it!
It wasn't Gunderson!
I ruined your stuff!
All right?
I destroyed your
stuff, all right? I'm sorry.
It's true. It wasn't me.
I was hammered.
I mean...
I was sh*t-faced and I
thought it'd be funny.
I had no idea
that the foam
in those extinguishers
cause so much damage.
I thought they were...
What?
Gunderson wasn't even with me.
You just immediately
assumed it was him.
I got to say,
I admired your work
and was happy
to take credit for it.
I can't believe you took
It was dick thing to do, Billy.
I should've told you sooner
and I will totally pay
you back for everything
that was damaged, with interest.
Wow, feels good.
That actually feels good.
It's a relief.
Dragging that
around for so long.
It's good. It's nice...
Nice feeling.
There's one other thing
I need to tell you.
About the walk.
And Tabatha
Guys, no offense,
but, you're
not invited, all right?
I need to do this on my own.
Damn it, that's broken.
Let the record show
that I'm no longer in this
to keep Jake in New York.
Excuse me? You're trying
to keep me in New York?
Well, it was. Now, I
just wanna make sure
that you and Tabatha
never get back together.
Are you f***ing with me?
You're trying to break
Tabatha and me up?
You guys aren't together now.
Not current... You know what
I mean, for crying out loud.
You guys are awful together.
You're worse
than Heathcliff and Cathy.
I was always more of a
Garfield man myself.
I'm just looking out for you.
You don't need to look out.
I can look after my...
You know what,
I had the stupid idea
that maybe you'd be
happy for me. God, stupid.
I was happy for you, Jake,
when I thought we're gonna
be out adventuring.
All right. Why don't we just
meet up with each other
grab a drink then, huh?
How's that sound? Rocks,
drinks in a couple of hours?
No? He's drunk.
What's your big plan anyway?
Aren't you leaving tomorrow?
Yeah. I don't know. Maybe we'll
do a long-distance thing.
Maybe I won't
leave, I don't know.
Really? Seriously?
It's possible.
I don't know, Billy!
I just know that
I've never been happier
than I was when I was with her.
That is not true, all right?
Life sucked back then
and it sucks now.
Deal with it.
You know what, I didn't want
to have to do this, but you...
You leave me
no choice. All right?
Oh, come on!
I'm on your tail! F***'s sake!
Guys, guys, guys!
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Okay, okay, fine.
You can come,
but for f***'s sake,
just please, please,
behave yourselves.
Who you're talking to?
Of course, we will.
Yeah.
And we're gonna
need to bring wine.
And you're paying.
Okay. Well, we are
near my office.
There's a place a
couple of blocks down
that we've got
an expense account.
Great.
I need a cupcake.
Just real quick.
The... I know the fire
extinguisher debacle was Jake,
but I'm still gonna blame you.
Impressive, and I accept.
- Come on, Jake, just one.
- No.
- Please! Jake.
- No.
Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake,
Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.
Real quick.
Ugh...
Fine. All right. A robber
walks into your house,
puts a gun to your head,
he says Sophie's Choice.
Option one is
you have to gain and lose
30 pounds every month
for the rest of your life, or...
Oh.
Or option two,
play this stupid game.
Gunderson, will you just
shut the f*** up? Billy?
Mr. Kim.
Larry, please.
How are you feeling?
Not good.
I am coughing up blood.
Oh, dear, really?
No. No.
I don't know
why I just said that.
I see.
Yeah. No, I just...
I just... You know.
I thought I'd pick up a wine
on my way to the doctor.
It's not exactly on the way.
No, it is not.
That's true.
And my friends are here, too.
We're not his friends.
You know, I just wanted to...
Wanted to pick up a bottle,
little something
to wet the palette.
It's just a little parched.
Next time,
you wanna spend the day
horsing around
with your friends...
Oh, Mr. Kim, that's...
I get it.
I do. Just...
Next time tell me the truth.
Okay?
Nailed it.
Congratulations, you got
away with it.
What the hell, I mean, was that?
I mean, is he serious?
He seems perfect.
Hey, where is Jake?
Bumblebees.
Surprise!
- Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- Hey.
What are you doing
here? Please, no.
For me? Thank you.
Hi. GUNDERSON:
These are for you.
Hey! Oh! Hey, good to see you.
Hey.
Tab, hey, hey.
Thank you. What?
Here's the answer.
You sleep with Helen Keller
because of the heightened
sense of touch.
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"Growing Up and Other Lies" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/growing_up_and_other_lies_9369>.
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