Grown Ups 2 Page #4

Look, it's Magnum P.U.

Look at him getting all serious.

I still can't believe

you're a cop after all the

sick stuff you did growing up.

The Peter Dante who stole

your parents' snowmobile

and sold it to purchase

crack cocaine is dead, Feder.

This side of

the law is way better.

To serve and protect.

Got to love it.

Hey, McKenzie, I heard you

assaulted somebody in there.

I didn't assault anybody. I

just choked out your brother.

Yeah, he deserves it.

He's crazy.

We got five minutes

to get to that stupid recital.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Recital?

At McDonough Elementary?

Yes.

Can I come?

Why?

Trust me.

Everybody's got to go.

We got five minutes. We're

never gonna make it there.

You'll get there on time,

'cause we're gonna give you a

four-alarm presidential police escort.

Isn't that against the law?

I am the law!

What's happening?

Whoo!

Oh, my God!

What just happened?

Welcome, parents, to final

performance of school year,

our June-a-licious

Dance Spectacular!

Now, for this year,

we go throwing a few

hip-hop moves in there.

Like this.

Is fun to dance.

Let the show begin.

So nice of you to invite your

friends and the bus driver

and the police force to our

daughter's dance recital.

Yeah, huge ballet fans,

all of them.

- Ooh!

- Oh.

She's so cute.

So cute.

She's adorable, isn't she?

She is adorable.

Fantastic stuff.

Unbelievable.

Look at her go.

I am.

I'm looking at her.

I want to arrest her

for disturbing the peace.

In my pants.

I'm having a wonderful time.

She's got a solo?

What?

It's fine.

I just wish that you

would give me more

than eight hours notice

before you tell me that

we're throwing a party, babe.

It's not a party.

Get out of here.

It's a couple people coming by.

Come on.

How'd you like it?

You were great, honey.

Hey!

Where did you learn

to dance like that?

She moves like "Yagger," no?

Yes,

she does, she moves like...

Mick Yagger?

Is that what you were saying?

Hey, butter buns,

you ready to grab some eats?

Yes.

Cavanaugh.

Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.

Honey, this is Tommy Cavanaugh.

He was my old steroid

that I grew up with.

This is my...

Wife, Roxanne.

Why are your

hands shaking, Daddy?

My hands are shaking?

Probably because I

had too much coffee

this morning, sweetheart.

I heard you been running around

saying you could

take me in a fight.

You... I wouldn't say that.

Yeah, you did,

this morning in Kmart.

Kmart? Was I there?

I don't think I was there.

You know,

all I can

remember about this guy

is smacking him around

whenever I wanted to,

and him not doing

a single thing about it.

Yeah, we had a lot of good

times like that growing up.

Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?

Are you crying?

You don't stop talking, do you?

Honey,

we should be getting going.

Sure, baby.

I want you to stop making up

lies about kicking my ass

or I'm gonna have

to set you straight.

Sure, sure, sure.

I'll see you around.

Becky,

you be having great summer.

I was one inch away

from knocking that guy out,

and I swear to God.

No, you weren't.

This is grown-up talk,

so butt out!

That's insane!

What did you say to him?

I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh, you

speak to me like that again"

"in front of my wife and kid, I will

brush your teeth with a brick. "

No, you didn't.

You just yelled at me.

I don't yell at you!

Calm down.

No, I'm just saying.

You guys were in the bathroom.

Look who's here, everybody.

20 VOSS waters, right?

That's how they do it in Hollyweird.

I don't know.

We haven't lived there in, what,

10 months now or something?

As a matter of fact, our son

starts work here tonight.

I know. I heard you

brown-nosed Mr. Pappas

and now Showbiz

Junior's got a job.

I used to scoop cones here,

and why shouldn't he?

It's a great

first job for a kid.

Or lifetime job.

Okay, what are we having?

Becky, what do you want, hon?

Can I have the soft

chocolate cup, please?

Here's a word you

probably never heard, no.

The machine's busted, princess.

Aw, bummer, it's broken?

Like all your dreams?

You know what, it's easy to fix.

I can help you with that.

What do you know about fixing

ice cream machines, Higgins?

Uh, I went to DeVry for a year.

Oh, that's right.

I can fix anything with a plug.

Including your hair?

That's not true. I don't even

know how that got started.

That's, like, people are

saying that around town.

I'll walk you through it.

You just walk up, climb up the

machine, lean over the back.

Can't believe I'm

listening to this idiot.

Listen to the man.

You're gonna see

two pipes coming into the top.

Yes!

In between them,

there's gonna be

a silver button.

Hit it a little bit.

Push hard.

No. Hit it with your fist.

Yeah, just push the button.

I got it.

There we go!

I think we're

getting somewhere.

Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...

Force it. That's it.

Hey! Why is Dickie crapping

all over the ice cream stand?

What'd she say?

Nothing! Nothing!

Go! Just go!

Go, Dickie!

That's where ice

cream comes from?

And so we've reached the end

of another school year.

Froot Loop?

Ten months

of learning, growth

and, yes, hopefully,

a little bit of fun.

But the journey we began

together, in September,

does not end today.

For education is a process

that does not begin and end

on some set schedule...

Please let me finish.

Return to your seats.

Damn you!

Every year, you do this to me!

And this was my favorite shirt

from when I was 12!

How you doing, sophomore?

Not bad, sophomore.

Come here!

Hey, you're not a statue.

You're an ass-tue.

Doesn't even make any sense.

Shut up!

What? What? What?

Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!

What's up, man?

Your dad picking you up?

Uh, I don't know.

I told him it'd be cool if he

stayed late at the soup kitchen,

so it's on me.

Well, you can come on the bus

with us, if you want.

Nah, how about we

do something fun?

How about we do something

we're not supposed to?

"Keep out. "

That just makes me

want to not keep out.

Heard our dads used to come

swimming here, back in the day.

They claim to be all squeaky

clean, but I think they were nuts.

College kids.

We better go.

No go.

Stay.

Whoo!

He's nuts.

Let's go.

Hey!

Where are you guys going?

Join the party.

Here. One and two.

Are you guys freshmen?

No. We're seniors.

We just became seniors,

like, 20 minutes ago.

Not high school seniors,

college seniors.

Wait a minute!

I remember you guys.

You're Scully.

You're Boomer.

Come here.

I love you guys so much.

I love you, too.

Girl, I love you more.

I'm gonna go.

Whoo! Body shots!

No go.

Stay.

Okay, okay. But what

about these beers, man?

If we don't drink them,

they'll be onto us,

and I'm not sure I'm

ready for beer yet.

Wait, let's just dump them

when no one's looking,

then act like we're drunk.

Okay. Good idea.

All right, let's go.

Summertime.

You're sure you want to do this, big man?

No shame in backing down.

Really?

Come on!

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