Grown Ups 2 Page #5

Come on.

It's a lifelong shame.

You're finally doing

Suicide 35. It's a big day.

What are you scared of, man?

You're the "rope from the tree,

triple flip, bird-crush" guy.

I'm not scared of this.

In the past, I did it before.

But I'll do it right now.

Sure. Sure. Go ahead.

- Do it. Do it.

- Whoa.

But the thing is this,

I just...

late about 45 minutes ago.

What did you eat?

I had chicken chow mein.

Chicken chow mein? When did...

We were with you

the whole time!

Yeah. You didn't see it?

They had it at Kmart.

They have chicken chow...

Oh, get out of here.

It's good there. Yeah.

It's very good.

What do I hear right now?

Look at this.

Beers on ice.

Hot ladies everywhere.

This is how we used to do it.

This is howl

still do it, buddy.

He does still do it that way.

Well, you should stop.

This is Kappa

Eta Sigma property.

So you might want to quit

perving on our ladies

and get back to your trailer homes.

Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.

I think it's...

I think we've been around

a little longer than you.

Been swimming here

since we were eight years old,

so you can calm

down a little bit.

I'm sure it was the bomb!

Cranking your Al Jolson tunes

on your transistor radio.

But it's the 21st century now.

And Thicky-Thick

and the Flabby Bunch

should never take

their shirts off again.

That hurts.

Okay,

I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.

Yeah, well, I don't like being

in the Flabby Bunch, either.

Boom! That just happened.

I haven't been around this many

arrogant white college kids

since Eminem played Duke.

There it goes. And then...

Boom!

That just happened.

How was that?

At least we got into college,

skinny Danny Glover.

Long handjob.

That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.

I think it's over.

Hey, hey, hey!

What, what, what?

What?

And a little extra right there.

Hey, fellows,

that was a good handshake.

We got a good one, too.

It goes like this.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, how you doing, sir?

Nice to see you.

Very good, sir.

Beautiful day.

Yeah, at least we're not stuck

in some crap town like this, hanging

up drywall for the rest of our lives.

Bay-oom!

Hanging drywall?

First of all,

I'll have you know

that I own pretty much

the greatest auto body shop

in town, all right?

This guy works for

the cable company.

Free cable for life.

What?

Over here, you know Higgins?

That's right, he works part-time

down at the go-kart track.

Oh, so he was highballing

you with the drywall.

Boom!

This just got real.

Real stupid? What happened?

Something's real.

Yeah...

Dougie, Dougie...

Are you guys as wasted as us?

Hells, yeah!

All the time!

Yo, we're gonna let you guys continue

your Klan meeting in a minute.

He's just gonna jump off of

here, and then we'll leave.

I can't permit that.

I can't permit it!

Can't permit it.

You guys have ruined

our celebration by being here.

Look at my hands, huh?

They're shaking, I'm so mad.

Yeah,

look, my brother's shaking.

Wha... Wha...

Whoa, whoa.

That was a cool move.

Now, listen to me.

I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.

But I need, like, 11 to 15

minutes to stretch out, okay?

I got to stretch.

It's overlooked.

No, I understand.

I can't fight these kids.

I'm skinny Danny Glover.

Guys, this guy's doing 11 flips

behind you for

some unknown reason.

We got kids,

we can't afford to do this.

Buddy, dude, you don't have

to do that last flip.

Don't, like, get hurt.

We'll come back another time.

You will come back never!

This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!

Dude,

why are you acting so crazy?

Did Betty White

just call you crazy?

Did he just call you Betty White?

Betty White?

That's pretty funny.

We've got a situation!

You know what?

Hey, guys? Guys?

- Hey, what's up, guys?

- Let's get out of here.

Listen,

it's nice to meet everybody.

We're gonna take off,

but let's do this again.

Take care, guys.

Enjoy yourself.

Not that way.

Oh, is there an elevator?

That way.

Oh, come on, are you serious?

You gonna make us jump?

Naked.

A**hole.

Oh!

You guys are losers.

Oh!

Don't worry, it gets bigger.

Ahh!

Whoa!

Oh!

That poor old lady!

Ahh! Ah ha ha!

I'm paralyzed!

I'm in so much pain!

Mama!

No!

Oh!

I was inside you!

I can't believe nobody's even

scared of a black guy anymore!

Damn you, Obama!

What the hell just happened?

I saw my dad's dick.

Well, the good news is Lamonsoff

finally did the jump for real.

And the bad news is

he landed on my face.

What are you,

made of rocks, dude?

Check this out, feel this.

I'm not kidding you.

Right up here.

I think even higher.

Feel that.

And?

Put your hand right there.

Feel the other one.

Those are my balls.

I'm not kidding you,

they went way up in there.

You're getting me turned on.

Are you kidding me?

What?

They slashed our tires!

These kids won't

stop abusing us!

Damn you!

This wasn't college kids.

It was my son, Satan.

And why is this kid so angry?

His mom hiccupped a lot, but

she was happy! And hot.

If she's so hot,

why don't you make her

your late-night booty call?

Oh, Beefcakes!

Come on, baby!

You've been sneaking around with Fabio?

It's not funny, dude! She's gonna

kick the crap out of me later!

Wow.

Wow.

A little

five-hour Energy, huh?

Yeah.

500-hour Energy?

I drink it for the taste, okay?

Oh, my God, you gonna jog

to Florida after this?

Oh!

No!

A bonus!

Come on,

just cram yourself in there.

My body, it's just too big for this thing.

I can't fit.

Higgins, dummy, hop in

this thing for a minute.

For what?

Just get in the tire.

No way! In there?

Five yards we'll roll you.

We've done it. I would do

it if I could get in there.

This is peer pressure,

you're bullying.

And I promise you

I'll stop you and I love you.

Don't let him do it.

He's jacked up on juice.

And a-one, and a-two...

Mommy's got you.

...and a-three!

Okay, five feet.

Grab me. Y'ello.

Lenny!

Hey, Keithie.

Meet me at the football field,

but don't tell your mother.

Why am I still rolling?

Lenny!

Oops.

Help!

Guys. get me!

Hang in there!

I'm going downhill!

Lenny! No! No!

When will it end?

Oh, yeah.

Summer is here, man!

Help! Stop! No!

Tire on the loose!

Fluzoo, shotgun, now!

Someone!

Higgins is in the tire!

Of course.

- Help!

- Get there!

Help!

Liar!

No, no, baby!

No! No! Someone!

Ahh! Ahh!

Shaw's over, tire.

Ow!

I'm next.

I got next!

No, I'm next!

It's my tire! My turn!

Hey!

What happened?

I got a phone call.

Oh.

Okay. I forgive you.

Was it

long-distance or something?

Don't want to kick a guy

while he's down, Higgins,

but we caught your son

with a can of spray paint

looking like he

was up to no good.

You lied about the soup.

You lied about the soup!

We are gonna find

those fartheads,

and we are gonna kill them.

Kill!

Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!

No, guys! Not each other!

We're not killing each other!

Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!

Whoo! Uh-huh!

It's a practice, Donna. You

don't have to go full speed.

Sorry, Mr. Feder.

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