Grown Ups 2 Page #7

because today at the recital,

I couldn't stop

looking at Becky's teacher.

I don't mind you looking.

I really don't.

Everybody looks.

I was looking today.

And I'm totally fine with that.

As long as he was gay,

dead or a cartoon.

Gay.

Okay.

But no matter who

or what we look at,

we'll always come back

to each other, right?

Car wash!

Car wash! Whoo!

Support our team!

I'll prove it to you!

Car wash!

What are you doing?

No, no, you're gonna like this.

Hi, girls!

Come on.

Honey,

you don't have to do this.

I want to.

Hi, girls!

Wash it up extra soapy!

You got it.

Oh, wait, hang on. There's a

car just in front of you.

Better do them first.

Yo, got a customer!

You take these guys,

we'll take the yellow car.

Extra soapy.

Oh, what is

happening right now?

I swear, I didn't plan this.

No, no, no, no. Thank you. I'm good.

I'm good, thank you.

Well, I might as

well enjoy this.

Why is this never-ending?

At least the guys in the car

in front of us are having fun.

What are you doing?

Get in there!

Let me do it.

Okay, everybody.

It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.

There were some downs.

Sorry about the leg.

The good news is

the children got through

another year of school.

Fabulously.

You got older, even though

I told you not to. Especially you.

Stay young. Don't leave me.

You prepared us your famous

chicken la food poisoning,

which we're all excited to eat.

I'm just kidding.

But the greatest thing is, it's

my favorite part of the day

with my four best friends.

To the Feders!

So Bumpty asked me

out for ice cream today.

I "went out for ice cream"

once with your dad.

Nine months later,

Andre popped out.

This is the best

vanilla pudding I've ever had.

That's butter, son.

Here you go.

Oh, hey.

Want me to come in

and feed it to you

like I did the last time?

No, no. I got my kid here.

That wouldn't be cool.

You said you loved me!

They're not all tens, buddy.

Homeboy, why aren't you eating?

I saw something today

that made me lose my appetite.

What was it, me naked?

What?

What's a burpsmart?

Burpsnorp?

A burpsnart!

Basically, he burps, sneezes

and farts at the same time.

He goes...

I think I just shat myself.

Hey, honey, what time's

that Feder bash tonight?

What?

It's paint.

It doesn't come off.

I thought it might be fun

to have a theme, no?

A theme?

Roxanne decided the theme is...

The '80s?

That was 70 years ago.

I thought we could

go as Hall & Oates.

Hall & Oates?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What is that, like a cereal?

No.

Why don't you

ask Nancy Arbuckle

to come by for

the get-together?

Or do you prefer

the imaginary shower version?

You know what, Charlotte?

I trust you,

and I want you to

have fun tonight.

Really.

What's up, player?

I'm here for your daughter.

What...

Used to get 10 cases

of beer for my parties,

now I get 10

cases of juice boxes.

Hey, Beckster.

Hey, Stud Muffin.

Hey.

Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,

so I call him Stud Muffin.

Is that right?

You must be Roxanne's husband.

I'm Kyle.

How do you know my wife

again there, Mud Stuffing?

I worked her out this morning.

Oh, really?

I worked her out this morning,

too, pretty good.

All right.

Hi.

What's up?

This is awkward.

My husband's here.

Why is that awkward?

Why?

Well, let me give you a hint.

You have brain damage?

I think we both know

what time it is, don't we?

What time is it?

Oh, nothing.

It's just...

Just time to...

Help me out here.

I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.

Wiley, how'd Andre McKenzie do?

Did he pass his test?

He squeaked by.

We didn't check out

any soapy cheerleaders.

What's going on

with you and my wife?

I'm gonna go.

Actually, why don't we all

go our separate ways.

I don't see any of these

conversations working out for me.

Adios.

I'll see you tonight.

Hey.

I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.

What?

Yeah, party

tonight '80s-style, huh?

Rocky III.

Wiley!

Okay.

Hey, babe.

What does Penny's note say?

Uh...

She wrote,

"Mayonnaise, zitis... "

The other side.

"Meet me by your

mailbox at 11:
00."

Why would I meet her

by my mailbox at 11:00?

You have any idea

what just happened there?

Not a clue.

I don't care who

your parents are.

You screw up, I fire you.

It's all good.

"It's all good"?

It's a family restaurant,

not a rap show.

It's all bad?

That's right, it is.

You got a customer.

I'm sorry. Welcome to

the Ice Cream House.

Hi, Greg.

Nancy, hi.

I think you crushed your cones.

Oh, no.

That was a...

That was a squeeze test.

These cones failed.

We're gonna try cardboard cones next.

You're smiling.

And number two.

You have such a nice smile.

Thanks.

Go out with me tonight before

your friends say I'm fugly.

Tonight?

Sure.

No freaking way.

Your father used to do

that same three-step crap

when we were growing up.

It always worked then.

Even on my wife.

I ain't no boy with

a mind you can toy,

'cause if this is a ploy,

I'll destroy Illinois.

It is so amazing how you can

freestyle like that.

I been laying it down

truthful since day one.

Well, I sing sometimes, too,

but only, like, in the shower.

I'm scared to sing in

front of other people.

If you scared,

that means you don't got it.

Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.

I'm hard-core.

Dinosaur!

How long ago was the '80s?

That was way back in the 1900s.

We learned about it in school.

It was wack.

The phones had long, curly

things coming out of the end.

You had to watch commercials.

No way.

Isn't that right, Bowser?

How we doing?

Hey, Dad, why do we have to

wear costumes and you don't?

I am wearing a costume.

Bruce Springsteen,

Born in the U. S.A.

Who's Bruce Springsteen?

I guess some guy

with a giant butt.

Ha.

You don't know who the Boss is?

I stink as a father.

You do not stink as a father.

You're the best father I know.

That's why I don't understand

why you don't...

Why I don't want a baby?

Because I don't want one!

Let's move on from that!

Oh, no. No, no.

Tell her it wasn't

you talking, Dad.

It was your flabby ass.

You want me to "accidentally"

break the other leg?

Hey, I'm sorry

I raised my voice.

In front of the children!

Right, in front of the kids.

It's just, you...

All you're doing is bringing up

this baby thing over and over.

Are you going through, like,

a "womany" hormone situation

or something?

Menopause?

What, you're not old enough for that?

I'm sorry.

Okay, no,

I meant schizophrenia.

No, honey, honey, honey,

if we have another baby,

we're starting over, you know?

How about we just adopt a kid?

Like

a 20-year-old who has a job.

That way we could

make money off of him.

Oh!

I just... Don't you think we can

start concentrating on me and you?

That's all I'm saying.

It's our time.

Well, I am going through

kind of a hormone thing.

Ah, good,

there's pills for that.

I'm pregnant.

Our guests are here.

Wait a minute,

when did we even have...

Oh.

Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!

Wow.

Lenny, that's big, brother.

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