Grown Ups 2 Page #9

I do.

After you apologize to me.

For stuff I did 30 years ago?

There isn't a statute of

limitations on being a dick.

What'd you just say?

I said what I said.

You and me are

fighting right now.

Now, let's go!

Let's get it over with.

Oh, man, looks like our

friend's about to die.

Lenny, what's going on?

I'm calling the police!

We're already here.

Hold my hair, woman.

You ready for this?

Not at all,

but I'm gonna do this,

'cause I got to show

my son what's right.

We'd do anything for

our boys, wouldn't we?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

My boy's over in Afghanistan.

Well, you raised him right.

I hope he gets home safe soon.

Yeah, me, too.

Sucker-punch him, Feder.

Lick his bicep. Lick it,

bite it, lick the tan off.

All right,

here's what's gonna happen.

Hit me right on the chin. I'll

go down like a sack of potatoes.

What are you talking about?

Just do it.

I know you'd do the same for

me if my boy was watching.

Let's get busy, Hollywood!

No! Don't hit me, please!

I'm sorry.

Please don't hit me.

You would tear

me limb from limb.

Open this.

The only reason I picked on you

was because I

was afraid of you.

What?

Oh, my God.

Please, please, please.

Just go with it.

I didn't think anyone would

believe you could knock me out.

Please. Don't hit me.

Cavanaugh's crying.

This is ridiculous!

Cavanaugh.

You mean you don't

want me to hit you with this?

No! Please.

Or the elbow?

Finger in the eye!

Wow.

Listen to this guy!

All right, get up.

Straighten up.

I'm not gonna hit you,

but if you ever disrespect me

or anybody,

I will hunt you down,

and I will slap you

into a pile of tattoos,

bad breath

and back zits.

Oh, please.

Do you understand me?

Yes, I understand you.

Do you understand me?

Yes, I understand you!

Then walk away

before I change my mind.

Thank you very much.

Hey, man, look at him!

What just happened?

Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!

Oh, my God, that was the

manliest thing you ever did.

You get extra special

hip-hop dance tonight.

Word up.

Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,

could you tell him that I'm

here waiting like we arranged?

Guys? Guys?

Yeah, okay.

Okay, I am a person!

That was awesome, by the way.

Had to. Had to.

Yeah, yeah, you had to.

He let you off the hook,

didn't he?

He did, he did,

but I had to go with it.

I can't believe it!

We hit the moron jackpot!

Everybody who needs a beating,

conveniently together on one lawn.

Who are they?

Brunson University frat guys.

Oh, God, I hate white people.

Excuse me, why are you here?

What's the matter?

I tell you what is the matter.

These old townies

trashed our frat house!

And nobody treats our good-times

headquarters with disrespect!

Yeah!

They didn't do it.

Me do it.

Don't try and

cover for him, Z-Dog!

Who's Z-Dog?

We know they're

trying to get back at us

for making them do the naked

plunge in our swimming hole.

Your swimming hole?

I've been swimming

at the quarry since I

was eight years old.

Apparently,

everybody in this crap town

has been swimming there since

they were eight years old.

I guess nobody

wants to leave this dump

because they're

too busy sucking!

We'll finish later.

You promise?

I promise.

- Okay.

- Hey, smart guy!

Lenny Feder left this town,

moved to Hollywood,

made big bucks,

probably more money than

all you brainiacs put together

ever will.

But guess what?

He came back here.

'Cause this

beautiful town is his home.

And it always will be his home.

Well, that was just a moving

testament to this community, bro!

But we didn't come here

to hear any lame speeches.

We came here to kick

some old, smelly ass!

Fellas, we may be old.

We may be smelly.

We may have a penis.

But the only ones getting

their ass kicked around here

is gonna be you spoiled,

privileged,

uppity, preppy D-bags.

You hear that?

Now, let's get busy!

They're

dancing on the ceiling

They're dancing on the floor

People everywhere

coming through the door

They know there's

a party going on

Come on, son!

You ain't tough!

Hit him!

Yeah, Braden!

Whoo! Yeah! Damn!

You want this?

Uh-oh!

Sir, please stop it!

That's not a sir!

That's a woman!

My woman!

Come on, babe.

I know you're

gonna lose control

You can do

Oh, you're so hot.

I know it's cold outside

Don't bust my face!

You saved me.

I will protect you for

the rest of your life.

Oh, okay, blow dryer boy.

Oh, God, no!

No! No!

Yeah! Yeah!

Having a good anniversary,

babe?

Oh, honey, the best.

I can't breathe.

Choking me!

Yeah!

We did it. We did it, man.

Yeah.

We make a good team.

Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.

I know it's cold outside

Come on, babe,

I'll keep you satisfied

Boomer!

What's going on?

This!

You're a traitor, Boomer!

His name's not Boomer!

Oh!

It's Gary.

It's Greg.

Oh, Greg.

Oh, my God!

Did you see his head?

He's got a... He's bald!

I got a wild one!

I got a wild one!

Whoo hoo hoo!

Noogie, noogie, noogie.

Nobody noogies my brother!

My brain! My brain!

Hey, man! I had that one.

I know you did, big brother.

Get out of here!

Don't hit me!

Hey, hey, look who showed up.

Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to

flip your way out of this?

Too slow, old man.

Where you work out, Cinnabon?

Look who's back up, baby.

I didn't know we were kicking.

Give me a second to stretch.

All right.

We're gonna

throw some legs, huh?

You want to

throw some legs, huh?

Boom!

That just happened.

What,

were you raised by ninjas?

Congratulations.

You won the fight.

Here's your prize.

Aw!

Thanks, little girl.

It looks just like you.

It's a monkey!

Look at me!

I'm a stupid little monkey.

Good night.

Come on, guys!

We got to get out!

Let's go!

Lenny! Baby.

Baby, are you all right?

I'm coming for you, Leonard!

I'm here for you, Leonard.

I'm here for you.

Who... Who are you?

It's your pretty, shiny Penny.

Oops, sorry,

I kicked your barrette.

Sorry, honey!

You guys were Fuji

and Tanaka out there.

This is just like high school.

Get drunk, get in a fight, wind up

back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.

Except for

the drunk part, Mommy.

Oh.

Oh, all you guys together

brings back so many memories.

Whoa, Dickie,

is this you and Lenny?

Let's see.

Yeah, me and Hollywood were

best friends in kindergarten.

Yep.

What happened?

What do you mean, "What happened?"

We were in different classes.

We kind of

drifted apart, right?

Yeah. He was in

those smart classes.

I was in the other classes.

Hey, who's this guy?

- Anybody remember him?

- Who is that?

Wow, what happened to that kid?

He's still here.

Why do I know my new kid's gonna

end up looking like that?

You're having a baby, Lenny?

Yeah.

Yeah, so I'm told,

Mrs. Lamonsoff.

Oh, a surprise, huh?

Yes.

People today try to

plan things out so much.

But don't think an unexpected

child is loved any less

than one you planned for.

Someday, Lenny,

you won't even remember

what life was like

with just three children.

You think we wanted Eric?

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