Grudge Match Page #6

His name's Trey and he's 8.

How do I look in this thing?

Pretty good?

Don't get into an accident.

I'm not sure about this place. Why

don't we go outside and do road work?

No, your legs are fine. It's just the rest

of your muscles are as rusty as my balls.

Hey, Light. Filter.

Hey.

- Your head's making noise.

- You wanna hear a noise?

It's gonna be the sound of you

crying if you don't get out of here.

That was nice.

Like I was saying. We're gonna focus

on your endurance and your speed...

...so you get so fast, he's gonna crawl

right back up into his mama's vagina.

- Hey, Light.

- What?

"What?" Take a Walk.

You sit down right here.

Hey, Moses. Looks like Dundee

found your new sparring partner.

Another funny one, Frank.

- He's closer to a pro fighter in

age than you are.

- Keep it up.

Kid, there's somebody I want

you to meet. My son, Trey.

No way.

My family gets bigger and bigger.

- Can I call you Grandpa?

- No.

No. Kid. Call me Kid.

That seems weird

because you're old.

- Just call him Billy.

- Nice to meet you, Billy.

- Nice to meet you.

- I'm gonna go do my homework.

- Okay.

- Go get them.

- Okay, Dad.

- You ready, Grandpa?

- Don't call me Grandpa.

- Don't like that?

Last night I decided we're going to

train in a very particular way.

We're going to train old school.

None of this...

None of this Pilates crap.

I'm talking real old school. I'm talking

Johnson, I'm talking Dempsey, I'm talking Louis.

And today, we're gonna start

with pool punching.

What's pool punching?

Let's go! Joe Frazier did this three hours

a day! You're not even going five minutes.

Joe Frazier didn't do this.

So what?

Let's go. Let's go. Give me 10.

What do you say?

Attaboy. Let's go, there's one.

And...

...a...

...half.

Are you kidding me?

Really? That's it?

One and a half?

Ali-Frazier.

What did Frazier do? He drove him nuts by

rolling under that right hand and, barn...

...he threw the left hook.

Roll and throw, Kid.

So you work on that,

I'm gonna surprise you with balls.

It reminds me of a woman

I met in Bangkok...

Surprise!

What do you think he's got here?

Hundred? Two hundred acres?

All this stuff here just rusting.

He's sitting on a gold mine.

He's got endless piles of crap.

- Light, you're killing me.

- Put up 100, 150...

...500 condominiums here.

You gotta be quiet. Unh.

Five, six hundred. I bet you $10,000,

he'd sell the whole goddamn thing.

- Unh.

- Don't stop. Don't stop!

Ha, ha!

- Didn't I tell you not to stop?

- Aah!

Ha!

Attaboy.

Let's go, get your elbows up.

Find a rhythm.

Attaboy. Attaboy.

Through the bell, through the bell,

through the bell!

Time! Attaboy. Attaboy.

Sorry you had to see that, Trey.

Hey, Kid.

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm sore.

- Hey! What are you doing?

- I thought you wanted me to hit this.

What are you gonna do? Beat up

the meat? That's not sanitary.

No, we're just here to buy dinner.

- You don't have to punch everything.

- Right.

Let's go, up! Pop. Pop.

Attaboy. Come on! Up! Up!

What is it exactly

that you're doing right now?

- What are you doing?

- Resting.

Taking a rest, huh?

That's gonna get the job done.

Jesus Christ, did you

just fart on me?

Did you just fart on me? Are you

kidding me? You gotta be kidding me.

Good God, come on.

You're better than that.

You kidding me?

You know, my head's right there.

Hey. This is insane.

What? You paratrooped in 'Nam.

What's the problem?

Hey, that was 40 years ago,

for crying out loud.

Shut up! Get out of the plane!

This is great promotion!

Guys, go get ready. Because

the target is right there.

All right, let's go!

- Go now?

- You're good!

Oh, Sh*t!

Ha-ha-ha!

- God, that felt good.

You jagoff!

- You threw his old ass out the plane!

- Why are you laughing?

I forgot to tell you, first one

down gets an extra five grand.

- Sh*t!

- Don't forget to pull the string!

Oh.

That's just beautiful! Precious!

Magic!

Sharp and McDonnen made quite the

splash when the two 60-plus fighters...

- Oh, my God. They're nuts!

- ...parachuted into a parking lot.

- Nuts!

- Although their landing...

...didn't go exactly as planned...

- Thank you.

- ...both men walked away...

...with only a few bruises.

Wow.

Okay, new regimen.

Starting today, you're gonna be soaking your

hands in this stuff. Make them leathery.

- What is it?

- It's horse urine.

I'm not sticking my

hand in horse urine.

Oh, you're telling me you're

better than Jack Dempsey?

Because every day Jack Dempsey would

soak his hands in horse urine.

And nobody had a tougher punch

than Jack Dempsey.

Did you heat it up or is it fresh?

- Ha!

- What?

It's vinegar.

- I knew that.

- I'm kidding.

It's horse piss.

It's vinegar.

I'm kidding.

Vinegar.

- I am kidding, actually.

- Come on!

Take a shower. Wash your

hands very, very thoroughly.

- You can still smell the horse piss.

- Wait, don't put it...!

Don't put it in there.

Just throw it in my room.

- Why? What's wrong with...?

- Just get it off the box.

- What do you got in there, the Hope Diamond?

- Don't worry about it.

- Your porn stash?

- It's not funny.

Letters from Sally.

Aw, for God's sakes, call her up!

What are you talking about?

Deal with Sally, or your head won't be clear

and she's gonna screw up your fight again.

- What do you mean, "again"?

- Oh, for God's sakes.

A guy has sex with my girl,

I want to knock his teeth out.

- Why didn't you?

- Because Kid loved boxing.

I wanted to take from him

the one thing he cared about most...

...because that's

what he took from me.

- Well, you sure have a

funny way of showing it.

You're my buddy.

But be careful where you're going...

...because you don't

know anything about it.

Forgive me, but you keep talking

about how much she meant to you.

All I remember is you would show up

at the gym first thing in the morning.

You would be the last

person to leave at night.

You didn't have time for

anybody or anything.

You blamed her for ruining

the relationship.

Well, maybe the real

problem was you.

- Trey, you have a good time?

- Yeah, I did.

- I know you're kidding.

- Hey, Sally. Long time.

- Ma, look...

- You're not training this guy.

- It was my idea. Don't get mad at him.

- I'm serious.

- I understand.

- BJ, I'm serious.

What's the point of telling me if you

don't want me interacting with him?

Interacting's one thing.

Working with is another.

- Why?

- You can't be trusted.

He's training me. That's all.

- I don't care!

- Stop yelling!

I think everyone's a little cranky

because they haven't eaten.

I say we do this.

- Burger, burger...

- Salad.

And a glass of white wine.

Works, right?

- That sounds good.

- Sound good?

You know, it might be helpful if you told

us what you hated about the guy so much.

Yeah. He doesn't seem that bad.

- You know I offered to marry her?

- You did?

- He didn't want to marry me.

- No, I offered to marry you.

You also offered to sleep

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