Gun Shy Page #6

Do you think I can do this?

- I know you can, Turk.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Go get your wife.

Yeah.

All right.

Hey, kid.

Are you all right?

Beer.

No. It's not the time.

Maybe just one for the road.

Uh... make it two.

Yep. Very good.

No harm will come to you

as long as your husband

cooperates.

My life is

in the hands of my husband?

Yes.

It was nice knowing you.

Oh. He once

wrote a self-help manual

entitled bark yourself happy.

It was based on the idea

that, and I quote,

"dogs don't get depressed."

Surely your husband

is a capable man.

Oh!

Oh ho ho! Sh*t!

Psst!

Clive!

- Clive!

Calm down, love.

No time for a stiffy.

Clive, you were...

You were dead!

- Yeah.

- What's wrong with your neck?

Harding tried to break it.

I faked it.

- And your eyes?

- Forced entry by shrimp.

Hold on. So when I...

When I found you,

you were alive?

Yeah. Sorry, love.

Look, you were leaning

right over me.

I could see straight

down your top.

Couldn't bear to end it.

Ohh!

Crikey. Yeah, where's Turk?

Oh, he's there.

Whoa ho ho!

Oh ho ho!

Oh, he's out of his depth.

Physically and metaphorically.

Well, what

are you gonna do? Swim?

You can't turn your head.

This one's for love.

Also money.

All right.

I'll need a pursuit vehicle.

Ohh.

Coming with you.

Tactical combat suit,

medium, check.

Gun, check.

Camouflage paint, check.

GPS, check.

Grenade, check.

Power bar, check.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, there you are.

All right.

Okay, uh...

Sheila! I'm coming for you!

Can you see him?

All I can see is top left sky.

Oh. The dildo.

I mean, the statue.

Oh. Oh ooh ooh!

Oh, we have got

a slight problem.

God damn it.

I am Turk Enry!

I brought the money!

It's in this,

uh, horrible suitcase!

This suitcase doesn't

belong to me.

Hello, kidnappers!

Hello?

Ha ha!

You?

You couldn't do what

you were told, could ya?

All you had to do was nothing,

and you couldn't even do that.

Well, you can't kill me.

I am English.

Part Spanish and

technically Chilean,

and I live in Malibu.

It's all very confusing, man.

Why didn't you just give me the

million dollars and walk away?

Because it's

not about the money!

It's about my wife!

God!

Sh*t! Sh*t! Sh*t!

You don't deserve any

of this stuff that you got.

You were

in a has-been rock band.

You play the bass.

It's only got four strings.

Ow! God! My head!

Have a beer!

The bass is

the heartbeat of a band.

- Stay there!

- G'day, Turk.

You're dead, man!

- You're dead!

- Well, you shouldn't be dealing with this.

I'll take it from here.

Sh*t! Just hide!

Go! Both of you! Out!

I hope they didn't see us.

Have you got an eye on Turk?

Well, that seems to be one

benefit of this neck situation.

I can see perfectly

around corners.

- Good afternoon.

- Uh... hi.

Hey, you were supposed

to come alone, man!

I was trying to,

but-but-but

other than these two,

I am completely alone.

Ha ha!

And him.

I forgot about him.

And my m204 a5 hand grenade.

Ahh!

Ahh!

- Aah!

Ow!

Damn it!

Hmm?

- Sh*t!

- Get down!

- Oh, yeah, the neck.

Oh, yeah.

That's a bit grubby.

Goodbye, Ben Harding.

I'm sorry.

Mr. Enry,

may I ask you a question?

Sure.

Do you think metal assassin

will get back together?

I don't think so.

Besides, I have other projects.

No, wait, wait, wait.

So you're going solo?

I am trying to,

yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're a true artist.

- Oh.

- You will find your new voice.

Just listen to

what is in your heart.

It will tell you.

Yeah.

I miss my wife.

Probably I miss her

more than she misses me.

She's the most important thing

in my life.

She's the glue

that puts together

all the pieces

of the person that is me.

And I need to tell her that.

So that's why you...

You have to give her back to me.

I love Sheila.

And Sheila loves you.

Oh, god.

Pay no heed to my erection.

I am a sex addict,

but not homosexual.

Let's just...

Go.

Baby.

Are you okay?

I'm fine.

You know

I may be an idiot, but...

I know that fine is never fine.

Why should I go with you?

Well, I...

I don't know.

Because I love you.

Love me? Love me?

Yes.

You can barely stand

to be around me

since metal assassin broke up.

- What? No.

- You don't need me.

You think I don't need you?

Are you kidding?

I can't do anything without you.

I'm a mess.

All I've done is to think about

what a total a**hole

I have been.

I wrote a song!

You haven't been able to write

since the band broke up.

I wrote a song for you.

Prove it.

Like... like, right here?

Now in...

Yes, right here!

Right here!

If you can't make

a single gesture, then I...

God damn it!

Okay. I'll prove it.

All right?

Muchacho, I need.

Ridiculous.

All right.

It's just the chorus,

but it's a start.

- It's a start.

- Yeah.

I feel like we are

having a moment here,

but I have some news

about my penis.

I've had $2.5 million vacations

with fatalities before,

but goddamn, this one was

interesting, you know?

Hey, Ramira.

We are gonna need, um,

a couple of in-room

massages and tons of beer.

Un momento.

Let me check her schedule.

All I need is a hot shower

with no one watching.

All I need is you, baby.

Oh.

Oh, and oysters, caviar,

and champagne.

Yeah.

I don't need money.

I don't need fame.

- I don't need John.

- I'm sorry.

We can't make any more

charges to your room.

Your accounts have been frozen.

Marybeth, can you

find John for me, please?

Ahh.

Hoo.

Bad news. John is gone.

He's drained four of his clients'

bank accounts and disappeared.

Sh*t.

What, does that mean

I don't get paid?

No.

- Crap.

- I just...

I just want to go home.

Hold on, Turk. Who exactly has

been paying your mortgage?

Sheila!

- Just use your phone, baby.

- No way.

I want this to be

like my old touring days.

Besides, the data

is just too expensive.

Okay.

From now on,

I'm going to be your CGI.

It's not CGI. It's GPS.

Yeah. Well, that too.

And now something

from my new album!

I wrote this song

in a very hard time of my life.

I was alone and scared,

and then I lost the most

important thing in my life...

The use of my penis.

Whoo!

Ahh!

And so it begins.

Thanks.

- No.

No one is gonna find me here.

Well, this is very nice.

Careful when tacking.

The boom is always on the move.

S, captain.

Oooh, baby.

Uh...

Have I ever been to India?

- No. Not India. No.

- No?

I just had

a Bollywood experience.

We can go now.

Sheila is right.

These dolphins

should not be caged.

Dolphins!

Come, dolphins. Come.

Oh, swim free, sweet dolphins.

Such beautiful

and gentle creatures.

Peace and love.

Time for a power bar.

Mmm. Mmm.

Back off! Please, god!

Stop! Aah! Mine!

This is my power bar!

You f***in'... go, get off!

Ha! I will mace you!

Oh, god!

It's got doll's eyes!

Yeah, that's about it.

It's a beautiful place, huh?

Oh, and I don't know

if you read up on this place,

but it used to belong

to some kind of rock star.

Huh. You know what?

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