Hamlet 2 Page #7

This is disgusting! Shut up!

This means I love you, he murmured

This will be our little secret

You'll wind up horribly murdered

If you should dare not to keep it

I know the topic of rape isn't nice

Don't bring it up when

you're breaking the ice

Is that why you are so quick to decline

To hear this oral fixation of mine?

My head spins like a

wheel As I make this appeal

If I'm lost then I'll

squeal It's a pretty raw deal

When they force you to

kneel Holy f***, it's so real

When you're being

Raped in the face

He's totally the man

The man with the plan

He traveled through time

in an awesome custom van

Moralistically, he taught us to be good

How to set our souls free

And do all the sh*t we should

Now we do the right deeds

We go to church and such

And we stopped smoking weed

Well, at least not as much

And we can't forget to

mention The golden rule

Do unto others as you would have them

Slam, bam, spank you, ma'am

Do unto you!

Oh, my God, it's Jesus!

Oh, my God, it's Jesus!

You're so hot! My God, I love you!

I wanna party with you, Jesus.

Jesus.

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

You died for our sins

You got to believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

All night long

I'm simultaneously

horrified and fascinated.

We're really amazed

You got to believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

Blasphemy! Blasphemy!

All night long

He lays down science,

really blows my mind

But he's also got abs that

transcend space and time

He's the son of God,

and I think that's cool

But he's got a swimmer's

bod like nobody do

Blasphemy! Go back to your seat.

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

He died for our sins

You've got to believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

All night long

Immaculate conception

really makes my day

But the dude's got lats

that make me feel gay

"Turn the other cheek"

is really showing class

But I really think it's sexy

when he kicks Satan's ass

Kicks Satan's ass!

Kicks Satan's ass!

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

That's the crane.

He died for our sins

You got to believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

Wait, I totally get it.

Jesus kicks the devil's ass.

But it's still disrespectful.

You got to believe us

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

All night long

Surf's up, dudes.

Hey, mister.

Oh, my God, it's Jesus!

Oh, my God! Jesus!

He's walking on water!

Jesus H. Christ!

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

We're really amazed

You got to believe us

His moralistic ways Totally ease us

His zen zing zang is gonna appease us

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

His holiest of ways

Ain't never gonna leave us

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

All night long

Rock me, rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus

All night long

Rock me, sexy

All night long

Rock me, sexy

Yeah, yeah, yeah

All night long

But it's supposed to

be intermission now.

We can't have intermission.

The fire department is trying

to evacuate the building.

Everyone, keep going!

When I think of those East End lights

Muggy nights

The curtains drawn in

the little room downstairs

Jesus, come on.

Coming.

Prima Donna lord you really

should have been there

You ready? Yeah.

Where are we going?

33 AD.

Got it!

Hold on! Okay.

And it's one more beer and

I don't hear you anymore

We've all gone crazy lately

My friends out there rolling

round the basement floor

You know, Hamlet, you

must forgive your father

the abuse you suffered.

You know, sometimes even I feel

like my father's forsaken me.

Really?

Good luck.

Thanks, Jesus.

You got my cell number? Yeah.

Okay.

My dad finds out what I've been

up to, he's gonna crucify me.

Altar-bound, hypnotized

Sweet freedom whispered in my ear

You're a butterfly

And butterflies are free to fly

Oh, Laertes, therein lies the rub.

If we use my time machine, then we

could save thy sister, thy father,

my dear mother, Queen Gertrude.

Not to mention the King.

Your madness must not unwatched go.

That is excellent wire-work!

I never realized the passing

hours of evening showers

A slip noose hanging

in my darkest dreams

I'm strangled by your

haunted social scene

It was poison!

Just a pawn out-played

by a dominating queen

It's 4.00 in the morning

Damn it, listen to me good

Watch it.

You watch it, Nacho Bell Grande!

Why are you trying to f***

with me all the time, b*tch?

I'll show you why, vato.

Someone saved my life tonight

Sugar bear

Sugar bear

You almost had your hooks in me

That's my cue!

Didn't you, dear?

You nearly had me roped and tied

Altar-bound, hypnotized

Sweet freedom whispered in my ear

You're a butterfly

And butterflies are free to fly

Fly away

Fly away, bye-bye

You have no documentation, no

ID, your badge isn't visible,

and you accidentally grazed my boob

when you tried to walk past me.

I could put you away for

a year, you fire-f***er.

You wanna hit me? Hit me!

I would love it if you hit me.

'Cause I'm married to a

Jew, I got nothing to lose.

Someone saved, someone saved

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved my life tonight

Ophelia, will you marry me?

Yes!

Someone saved, someone saved

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved my life tonight

Someone saved, someone saved

Someone saved my life tonight

I'm sorry, son.

I forgive you, Father!

I was molested as a child.

Maybe that's why I'm so angry.

I forgive you. Father, I forgive you.

I forgive you. I forgive you.

I forgive you.

Wow.

What's going on?

Wow, there's a great energy in here.

I'm suing everybody!

This isn't over.

I want you out of this community.

This play's offensive!

Well, I'm sorry!

No, no, no, don't do that!

That's offensive, too!

Jack Wiggum, please.

Jack, it's Elisabeth.

I'm ready to act again.

Shue. It's Elisabeth Shue.

Mr. Marschza? It's Marschz.

My name is Ron Kantor.

I'm with the New York Times.

I was quite taken with your play.

Oh, thank you.

I was very moved when

Hamlet forgave his father.

Great!

What about when I forgave my father?

A penny for your thoughts.

I was just thinking about all those

voices saying, "You can't do it,"

and, "You're a loser."

Well, that's psychosis.

You know, I had a feeling...

No, I mean actual voices,

like my ex-wife, the school,

pretty much everyone.

Well, everyone and their brother

wants a piece of your genius ass now.

Is it true that Jeremy effing

Irons wanted to do your play

and you turned him down?

"Oh, Dana, for f***'s sake,

please let me do your play."

It takes a real set

of low-hangers, mister.

He won't even let me be in

it, and I'm his girlfriend.

I wanna preserve the original cast.

Artistic integrity!

And, yes, he does have a

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