Hampstead Page #3

---

I saw it all. I just... I don't know...

Are you all right?

I'm spiffy.

Why didn't you just say that at the beginning?

I thought that you might think

that I was spying on you.

I... I... Hm.

Why?

How did you see me?

Hm? Oh, I...

I was at the attic window...

With my binoculars.

Of course.

What was that all about,

if you don't mind my asking?

Who knows?

Occupational hazard.

I guess people just don't like the way I live.

- I'm down here.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, I, er...

I go that way.

Emily.

Emily Walters.

Donald Horner.

Miss Emily, I am forever in your debt.

- Oh.

- I'll be seeing you.

All right.

Or perhaps, you'll be seeing me.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(SIGHS)

- Bill.

- (GROANS)

Yeah. Thanks, Xavier.

(SIGHS)

Luxury flats unveiled by... Rory Ashton?

Oh.

(SIGHS)

Oh, there you are!

Where have you been?

- Oh.

- Oh.

- Oh.

- I know.

Well, I...

I got a little distracted. I just...

It's all right.

You've got a lot of things on your mind.

How was your date with James, by the way?

- Date?

- Well, not a "date" date, but you know...

I know he wants to do whatever he can, so...

- Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

- Oh, come on.

We all need a little bit of help

from time to time.

For instance, I've paid your share

of the building maintenance.

Oh, but, Fiona, you shouldn't have done that.

I mean, I feel so bad.

I'll pay you... I am going to pay you back.

I know you will.

I mean, don't even think thrice about it.

Of course, if you do want to thank me,

you could start by getting

that planning letter out.

It's still not up on the council website yet.

Look, you know, I...

I don't really know about

this whole housing scheme.

I was... I was just down there

and there's amazing wildlife

around that hospital.

And when were you gonna tell us that

it's your husband

that's behind the whole thing?

(LAUGHS) Ah, I see.

That explains the empty clipboard.

What were you doing down there?

What? I got lost.

I thought you got distracted.

Well, I got...

Listen, that old hospital

has been dragging down

property prices for years.

All I'm asking here is for a little support

from my friends

because that's what we do, isn't it?

Sure.

Yeah, I knew you'd understand.

(LAUGHS)

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

Hm?

(EXHALES)

(SHOP BELL JINGLES)

(WHISPERS) Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Go through...

- (TWIG SNAPS)

- Ah!

Ow!

Oh, my God.

Oh, sh*t.

Hi, there.

What are you doing?

Dinner.

Oh. Okay. So...

I'm gonna sit here, huh? Thank you.

I said 7:
00.

Oh, I'm really sorry about that.

I got... I got stuck in traffic.

You live across the street.

Yeah, that's how bad it was.

You're late. That's all I know.

Well, I didn't... I never exactly

confirmed an answer, now, did I?

Why come at all, then?

Okay, wait a second.

Let's just back this up.

So I met you once...

After staking me out like MI5.

Yeah, but I happened to see you there

and, of course,

I'm sure you can understand why

I may have hesitated a little.

Hesitated? What happened to the traffic?

(SIGHS)

- Will you please just give me a break?

- (WHISPERS) Shh.

Don't scare the fish.

The fish?

You mean you are actually

catching our dinner?

Catching my dinner. You'd better get to it.

Me? Oh, yeah, all right.

Okay.

What, you got one?

Oh, no, do you...

(SPLASHING)

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. It's a fish!

(LAUGHS) Oh, dear.

Okay. There you go.

Oh, my... Oh! Oh!

There we go.

Now...

Wait a minute.

Aren't you supposed

to throw the fish back in?

- Just did.

- No, no.

You... You just threw in a shoe.

Not according to them.

EMILY:
Oh.

(BIRDS SQUAWKING)

What do I do? I don't know what I'm doing.

- There you go.

- Okay.

- So I hold that.

- Steady.

Yeah, okay. I haven't...

Yeah, I got it, I got it, I got it.

I'm good. Okay.

- (LAUGHS)

- That's it.

Oh. Oh, sorry.

Excuse me.

Wow.

So what can I say? It's...

This is really amazing.

(LAUGHS)

Oh, and you have a working oven?

No, it's useless as an oven.

Perfect as a fireplace, though.

(LAUGHS) Oh!

Amazing what people'll

throw away these days.

Guy even helped me

bring it over here from his house.

Well, that was nice of him.

Ugh, not really.

He turned into a bit of an arse.

- An arse?

- Yeah.

Right, come on.

EMILY:
What?

Oh!

Dinnertime.

Well, thank you.

(SIZZLES)

So am I different to what you expected?

Hm.

Perhaps. You seem...

Go on.

Cleaner.

That's honest.

(CHUCKLES)

Cleaner.

What? What are you...

Wait a minute. What are you doing?

Come on, have a smell. Take a schmeck.

- A schmeck... Yiddish now?

- Come on.

- Yeah, yeah. Go on.

- Okay, well, wait, wait. Let me see.

(SNIFFS) Mm.

- Not bad.

- Yeah. Thank you.

Yeah.

I can't quite place it, though.

- Patchouli.

- Uh-huh.

And pond scum.

(LAUGHS)

- Really, huh?

- Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS)

Can I ask you something?

Can I stop you?

Ah.

So you are a spy.

Yeah, I found it right before

we met at the cemetery.

I'd gone looking for you because,

you know what, I was concerned.

They caught me with my guard down.

Hey, you know what?

They really don't want you here.

I know. It's a shame, isn't it?

If only they got to know me.

But you can't just ignore these people.

I don't understand.

Why aren't you doing something about this?

What do you do, Miss Emily? Hm?

Do you work?

What do you mean? Why do you ask?

Just making conversation.

How do you spend your time?

With whom do you spend it?

Well, with people that you'd probably detest.

Well, do you detest them?

Well, no.

No, they're my friends.

And, just for the record...

I volunteer at a charity shop.

Wait a minute. Are you judging me?

Well, I'm trying to,

but you're not giving me much to work on.

You protest against phone masts.

You spend time with people you'd rather not.

Apart from a volunteer job,

you don't really work...

The fact of which I sense

you're not altogether proud.

It's as if you're all dressed up

for some purpose you either can't remember

or never really grasped to begin with.

I should go.

No, I... I overstepped. I'm sorry.

Particularly strong batch of wine.

No, it's fine. I mean, you know...

It's always a lot of fun

to be told one is just blindly

stumbling their way through life.

Well, you know, stumbling has its benefits.

You stumbled my way, after all.

Well, thanks again.

DONALD:
Well, you didn't

thank me the first time.

Well, thank you the first time.

It was... It was a really lovely meal.

Um...

It's gonna rain.

Heath rain is a harsh mistress.

You should wait a while.

Oh. Well, I'll be sure to run.

(THUNDER RUMBLES)

- (HEAVY RAINFALL)

- Shoot!

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

(GROANS)

(RAIN PATTERING)

Wait a minute.

Yeah.

(WHISPERING) I got it. I got it.

So, plan of action.

- See what I'm saying? If you take it...

- Whoa, great drawing.

Yeah, I know, but what do you think?

Do you think we should do it?

- Because...

- Oh, make one of these?

- If we make one now?

- Yeah, I can totally help you do that.

Okay. Would you put it together?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes