Happily Ever After Page #4

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and bring her to me!

Us work?

Before noon?

Yes, well,

we're more nocturnal villains.

You see,

that means we operate at night.

You still here?

How do you start this thing?

It's probably just a-

What do you call those things

that aren't wolves?

Kiss it! Maybe it will

turn into a prince!

Bad doggie! Down, boy! Stay!

- You okay?

- Uh-huh.

Oh, gosh!

The Mountain of Death.

Let's go, boy.

Ouch.

Please tell me that's modern art.

I don't think we should-

Locks on the door.

Bars on the windows.

I know who lives here.

Hey, that was my big toe.

Hey!

- Hey, get away from there!

- No trespassers!

Yeah, can't you read?

I bet them's the ones

that took Snow White!

- We don't even know Snow White.

- I used to spy on her though.

Well, no. More like

peeking in on her.

Checking in.

Let's call it that.

I checked in

on her occasionally.

We're looking for the prince. If we don't

find him, the kingdom will be lost.

And can I remind you

of something?

We're being chased by the bad guys.

Correction- surrounded by them.

Please. Please.

You have to help us.

Inside.

Initiatin' primary defense!

Come on, come on!

It's the big one.

Why'd you call it the big one?

It's the mother of all battles!

Move it!

- We knew it was a-comin'.

- We just didn't know how.

- Or why.

- Or when.

We've been gettin' ready

for the big one for years.

Yeah.

- Sic 'em!

- Yeah, yeah.

Billy Bob, crank up the big lady!

- You!

- What?

- With me!

- Me? But I don't-

Lock and load, Cletus!

What's that?

She's stuck!

Bubba, give me a hand!

How about a foot?

Darlin', load up them diamonds!

Me?

Are you sure?

I don't think that's a-

Diamonds?

Why do you think we been savin' 'em?

They're harder than a knight's sword

and sharper than a dragon's tooth!

Come on, come on!

Take that, you varmints!

You're a wolf!

Get some teeth!

Some growling would be nice!

Some biting would be better!

Target 500 yards!

Follow me in!

Roger.

Oh, no!

We got witches! 2:00!

I really, really don't like this.

What? And I do?

Come on, little lady!

Show me what you got, witches!

- Munk!

- Wow!

Mambo!

Reload! Reload!

Rubies, diamonds, everything we got!

I'm hit!

I'm hit!

Dang!

We tried to teach

Snow White to shoot...

- but she couldn't hit the side of a barn.

- Wow!

- What?

- I didn't know I had it in me.

Lady, you can call me Duke.

Ice Queen! We lost Ice Queen!

Retreat!

No way!

Hold it together!

Circle around!

Do you copy?

Roger.

Hey, we should spell out

"Surrender Cinderella!"

Negative!

Proceed as planned!

Yeah!

Eat this, dwarves!

Ella!

Pardon me, ladies!

- Ella!

- Rick! You're here!

Yeah. Things were kinda slow

in the kitchen.

Munk! Mambo!

Jump on!

Duke!

Don't worry about us, darlin'.

You just find that there prince!

The dishwasher?

The dishwasher saved her?

This is like a good dream

you can't wake up from.

I've sent witches.

I've sent trolls.

Nothing is working!

Then the prince took

Cinderella to his castle...

and they lived happily ever after.

No, they did not!

Whose side are you on?

If I may ask...

why do you hate Cinderella so much?

I mean, according to the tale,

she never did anything to you.

I don't know.

Because she's gorgeous?

Because she's too stupid

to know her place?

Because she's so cheerful

about everything?

Because if she wins,

she'll be the queen...

and I will be the stepmom forever!

Is that baby

making you soft or what?

That's it! You can't send witches

or wolves to do an empress's job.

Get me a broom.

I'm gonna take out little

Miss Goody-two-slippers myself!

Heads up, Cindy!

Stepmama's on her way!

Thanks, Rick,

but what are you doing here?

I just thought you could

use a little help.

- You're the best.

- Any luck finding the prince?

Not yet. This is Mambo and Munk.

They're helping too.

Look, I say there's no time

to find the prince.

We gotta take Frieda out...

ourselves.

- But she has the wizard's staff.

- So take it.

Just create a distraction,

sneak up on her and jump her.

Okay, good. We make a distraction,

we do some sneaking...

and then this jumping thing though-

I don't know. I have a bad back.

Who's doing the jumping?

We are.

But there are trolls

in the palace and that woman!

Big deal.

I can get you in.

We could do this...

without a prince.

There he is!

I'm sure that's him!

Oh, maiden!

Maiden!

Hello! Prince!

Hey! Up here!

- We're too high!

- Rick, go back!

- I can't!

- You can't or you won't?

Come on.

Again with the crashing!

I hate gravity!

I hate it!

Ella, you okay?

Prince?

Hello?

We must have overshot him by a mile.

Yeah, we lost him.

Just like you wanted.

What? Ella, I didn't-

Ella! Ella, wait!

Come on. We ran out of fuel

or something.

Sure. You don't wanna

find the prince.

You want him out of the way

so you can be the hero yourself.

Ella, I know the prince.

He's hopeless.

- And I know I can do it.

- No, you can't.

You can't save the day.

You're not a prince. You're just...

Rick.

I-

- Sorry about that. Are you-

- Fine.

It was fine.

I mean, I'm fine.

- I guess we should look for the-

- Prince.

- The prince.

- Yeah.

We'll go back and find him.

Wait.

You wanna find him, fine,

but let's do it smart.

It's almost dark, and we don't even know

which way is back.

You guys hang low.

I'll go look for him.

Rick.

Thank you.

So I'm finding

Ella's prince for her.

This was the last thing

I wanted to do.

But we both knew

how the story had to end.

- We need your help.

- Oh, it's that kitchen boy.

I don't have time to explain.

Ella needs you.

- You gotta save her.

- Yeah, yes, yes.

Did you bring me my laundry?

Ella?

The girl you danced with?

- At the ball?

- That maiden?

Well, I've crossed

deserts and mountains...

babbling brooks and things...

to bring her...

this.

You crossed a desert

to bring her a shoe?

Yes, well, it's in the book.

So if Frieda hadn't

tipped the scales...

the prince and I

would have gotten married?

You always do.

What about Rick?

What happens to him?

He just works in the kitchen.

Yeah. It's not his story.

- What's wrong?

- It's your happy ending.

You get wedding bells, roses.

You ride off into the sunset.

- And then what?

- Nothing.

That's the end of your tale.

What?

That's all?

That's my whole life?

I just marry the prince?

What else did you expect?

I don't know.

I guess... more.

I say happy endings are boring!

Just think about what you want,

and go for it!

Frieda!

Oh, no!

Not again! Help!

Hi, Cinderelly!

Under the bushes!

Hide!

Under the bushes?

That's a-Those aren't-

That's a stick!

Come to Stepmommy!

Ella! No!

Rick!

Blast! Looks like we lost her!

Maiden! Maiden!

Help!

- Please! Please help me!

- Maiden!

Prince!

- Help!

- I've got-

Why...

log...

hurt...

prince?

Sleepy now.

Well, don't just sit there!

Get back on your horse!

Save her!

Right. Perfect.

My chance to prove myself.

Exactly what am I saving her from?

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