Happy Ever Afters Page #3

his sister everywhere, doesn't he?

- And you understand all that?

- Yeah, course I do.

- [Grunts]

- [Cheering]

I'm really sorry.

Did you have to hold her so tight, huh?

I wasn't!

[Upbeat music plays]

Here, what would happen

if I poured this on that synthesiser?

- Don't. I'm warning you.

- Go on.

- Don't.

- Hey.

Could you keep them knackers

away from us, love?

- Hey, watch it. They're my knackers.

- Of course they are.

B*tch. Come on, youse. Bed.

- I can't find her.

- Really?

- No.

- That's strange.

Well, she must be around somewhere.

Geraldine, have you seen

Sophie anywhere?

- No.

- Well, would you help me find her?

No.

Oh, Je...

I'm, um... sorry.

That is absolutely no problem.

[# Singing I Love You

Doo Be Doo Be Doo]

- Pythagoras.

- Yeah, yeah.

You can see the moon, can't you?

And it's round, isn't it?

Dessie, say good night to your kids.

Ah, ah, there you are, lads. OK, yeah.

Now, sweet dreams, huh? Huh?

Sorry to disturb you.

Don't be worrying, now.

Everything's under control.

- You carry on.

- Hey... OK.

[Horns honking]

- Thanks a million.

- No problem.

Why get out of bed

if there isn't any jobs.

All right, love.

Jeez, you're really filling that dress.

- [Yells]

- What the...?

Tommy, help! Come over now.

[Up-tempo music plays]

There's your man again.

- He's not bad-looking.

- Believe me, he's not for you.

Hold on.

Can I help you?

- Have you seen my wife?

- Mislaid her, have you?

- That's very careless.

- Just answer the question.

We had a long chat, actually.

She told me you two got married twice.

What are you,

some kind of wedding addict?

Stop.

- Where'd you see her?

- Outside in the garden.

- Did you do something to her?

- Why would you say that?

Sorry.

- You didn't, did you?

- No.

Thanks.

[Moaning]

Do you know how long I dieted

to get into this dress?

- Five months.

- You OK, love?

Oh, I'm fine.

I just left my husband,

and do you know what? I feel great.

- Men are pigs.

- Yeah.

Men are pigs.

Do not get married.

- Any of you married?

- No.

- Good.

- What you gonna do now?

She's gonna come out with us,

that's what she's gonna do.

- I am?

- Yeah.

What are you doing?

Molly.

Why are you kissing her?

I thought she was your sister.

My sister?

This is Emily, my girlfriend.

Your girlfriend?

But you're married to my mother.

- You shouldn't be doing that with her.

- Didn't your mother tell you?

Tell me what?

We hired your mother for the day,

and for a lot of money.

What do you mean? Hired for what?

- Your mother didn't explain it to you?

- No, she didn't.

Molly.

Molly!

We will talk about this later.

He paid you.

Are you some kind of a hooker?

- Don't you talk to me like that.

- It's the truth.

He was being deported

and we needed the money.

I told you it wasn't a proper wedding,

that we wouldn't be living together.

- So it's all a joke, the whole thing.

- No, Molly. This is very serious.

Don't you go messing this up.

I'm doing this for us.

How is this for me? You couldn't even

get me a dad for one day, could you?

- I hate you!

- Molly.

Molly!

[Indistinct voice on police radio]

- Is everything OK?

- Yep, nothing to worry about.

Those men over there.

I don't think they're waiters.

We have to all act normal.

OK.

It's a load of bollocks, isn't it?

I kind of like it.

Hey...

[upbeat Irish music plays]

[Indistinct shouting]

- Is there any sign?

- No.

- What's up?

- My daughter has gone missing.

Good Lord.

Look, let's, uh... Let's keep this

between ourselves for the moment.

What's going on?

Sophie's gone AWOL.

Aw, that's a shame.

- You're looking for the bride?

- [All] Yes.

- She's left in an ambulance.

- My God. Is she hurt?

No, no, no, no.

The ambulance was not for her.

- When did she go?

- I would say... 40 minutes ago.

Forty minutes ago!

Why didn't you say something?

No one asked me.

If this has anything to do with you...

I'll try calling her.

I'm sure there's a simple explanation.

Sorry.

[Phone rings]

- Hello?

- Sophie. Where the hell are you?

You. I saw you with her.

- Who?

- That slapper in the wedding dress.

- I saw you snogging her in the lift.

- What? I didn't.

- Amn't I good enough for you?

- Of course you are, Sophie.

- You mean everything to me.

- You've a funny way of showing it.

You're a dog, Freddie Butler, a...

- Scumbag.

- A scumbag.

- A dirty louser.

- A dirty louser.

Good one.

Look, Sophie, uh... I love you, OK?

You know that. So just...

Just come back. Could you do that?

- Let me talk to her.

- Get off. Get off!

- Don't tell me to get off.

- No, I didn't mean you.

I didn't mean you.

Look, Sophie, where are you?

- Everybody's worried about you.

- I'm out, with friends.

And I don't care

if I ever see you again!

- Sophie.

- Never ever!

Sophie...

Sophie?

- Sophie...

- [bleeping]

- [Dial tone sounds]

- Sophie?

- She hung up.

- Well, call her back!

- Want me to find her?

- I don't know where she's gone.

I'm not adopted. Me ma says she gave

birth to me and that it hurt like hell.

So that makes you a big fat liar.

- What are you doing with the balloon?

- None of your business.

- Get lost, will you?

- Fine.

Well done, love. You told him!

Look at me.

It's my wedding day.

Have another drink, love.

Hey, young fella.

Four tequilas over here, please.

- Sure, love.

- Aw.

She's, uh... She's not answering.

- Where is she?

- She didn't say. Sounded like a pub.

- Is she all right?

- She didn't sound like herself.

Excuse me, everybody. I'd like to say

thank you very much for coming, and...

- [fire alarm ringing]

- [Screaming]

You remember our little talk, Freddie?

I don't know what's going on,

but I will fix it.

You better.

- I'm... I'm so, so sorry.

- It's not your fault.

Youse had better come down to our room.

No, we don't want to be of any trouble.

It's no trouble.

There's plenty of space.

And it could do

with a bit of livening up in there.

Thank you. That's very kind of you.

Oh, no. C'est pas possible.

What happened here?

I... I don't understand.

Someone must have start a fire.

[Gasps]

Come here! Come here!

[# Woman singing Happy Ever After]

Help yourself to drinks. The bride's

father is paying. He won't mind.

Thank you.

- What's going on here?

- They needed shelter from the storm.

What storm?

- Hey. I need to talk to you.

- Can't now. Busy.

- Come back here!

- Stop!

I'm gonna kill you! No!

- I need you to do something for me.

- It'll have to wait.

Molly.

You go that way and I'll go this way.

- And watch out. She bites.

- I don't have time for this.

If you want me to do something for you,

then you do this for me.

- Molly!

- I've had enough of this.

- You've ruined my wedding.

- Me?

- Yeah.

- You're crazy.

And, anyway, it didn't need anyone

to mess it up for you.

What do you mean?

Why'd you say something like that?

Easy. I didn't mean it.

I'm sure you'll be very happy.

I suppose you have

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