Happythankyoumoreplease Page #5

the Clash?

I have so much to teach you.

(cell phone vibrating)

(exhales)

(vibrating stops)

Hi, Sam.

It's Mississippi.

Remember me?

The girl from last night?

Um, just wanted to remind you

I go on at 10:
00 tonight.

I... I promise not to suck.

No pressure.

I never heard from you

about the keys, so...

I don't know.

I'll see you later, I guess.

Okay, bye.

#What are you so afraid of? #

#Why are you feeling scared? #

#What's the worst

that's gonna happen? #

#Standing in the moonlight #

#I can tell you feel doomed

though nothing is wrong #

#No, nothing #

#You say maybe a crane

will fall from the sky #

#Maybe a dove will dive #

#And die before your eye #

#It's too early to say #

#It's too early

to say good night #

#Good night #

#It's too early to read #

#It's too early to read

by the firelight #

#What are you so afraid of? #

#Why are you feeling scared? #

#What's the worst

that's gonna happen? #

#Standing in the meadow

with sunlight in your eye #

#And a sense

of so much sorrow #

#You say maybe a plane

will fall from the sky #

#Maybe a lover will lie #

#And die before your eye #

#It's too early to say #

#It's too early

to say good night #

#Good night #

#It's too early to read #

#It's too early to read

by the firelight #

#It's too early to say #

#It's too early

to say good night #

#Good night #

#It's too early to read #

#It's too early to read

by the firelight. #

(vocalizing)

Hi.

Hi.

I'm here.

I can see that.

I don't know why exactly.

You didn't want to get sued.

Right?

Oh.

- Hi.

- Hi.

So I just had a little talk

with Rasheen.

I asked about you being

his big brother.

He had no idea

what I was talking about.

Okay. Okay, wait.

He said you met on the subway.

What the f*** is going on?

Hold... hold... hold... hold on.

Hold on.

- Just wait.

- Who is he? Why is he here?

He got separated from his...

he had nowhere else to go.

- How old is he?

- I don't know.

- He doesn't know either.

- And...

oh my God,

do you like little boys?

What? No!

He's... he's in foster care, okay?

He's been in seven

foster homes in his life.

I... I think something was going on.

He says he won't go back.

- Why didn't you go to the police?

- I did!

Look, I... I realize

I'm in some trouble here,

but I don't know what else to do.

I'm just... I'm letting him stay here

until I can figure something out.

- How long has he been here?

- Three, four days.

You find a child on the subway

and you think you can just...

just keep him here without letting

anyone know where he is?

- That's...

- And you left him here

while you were out

the other night.

No, he was fine.

I... I put on some Leonard Cohen.

He just knocked him right out.

I have the worst taste in men.

(glass breaks)

Sorry.

Hold on.

I have some, uh...

It's okay, honey.

Hey, um, can you...

I'm not good with blood.

Congratulations, Sam.

You've just become the most

unattractive man in the world.

Hey. Hey hey hey.

- You're really leaving?

- Yeah.

- Why?

- I'm not a babysitter.

- He's totally mellow. You...

- I was talking about you.

You have to let someone

know where he is.

- I will.

- Today.

- He's...

- He's a child.

I can't get involved with this

right now, Sam.

I'm trying to get my life together,

not f*** it up more.

Look, I'm sorry that I lied to you.

I'm a good person.

- I'm trying to do the right thing here.

- You're going to take care of him?

- For now, until I can...

- You're a mess.

What, you don't need a project?

I'm a mess too.

Trust me.

So let's...

let's clean each other up.

Bye, Sam.

(sighs)

Sam.

- Sam:
Come home soon.

- (laughs)

Sorry.

- Hey.

- Are you crazy?

- Why is he still with you?

- I'm helping him.

Well, I talked to my friend Jill,

who's a social worker,

and according to New York state law,

you've kidnapped him.

Are you okay?

Do you miss your family?

Is he feeding you?

- What are you eating?

- Don't answer that.

Look, I get that this is

killer material for a novel.

Sensitive white guy learns life lessons

by taking in small black...

- You actually think that I'm...

- Are you writing about him, Sam?

This is a big deal.

You can't just keep him.

He's not a goldfish.

You need to let someone

know where he is.

Look at these.

I'm anxious to see

what will happen

if I give him more than two pens

and a highlighter.

Come on.

Please fix this.

Your mom would be so upset.

And then she's going to call my mom

and my mom's going to call me,

and I don't have the energy.

It's okay.

I'm on it, I promise.

Okay.

- I think you're good.

- Great.

- Hey, Rasheen, say thank you.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

Come on, let's go.

- Hey, Sam.

- Yep?

- You've spent time in Los Angeles.

- Yeah.

- Do you like it?

- It's okay.

Would you ever want

to live there?

No. Okay.

Come on.

Go.

People shouldn't be able

to give him so much sh*t.

The man's made

some of the best movies of all time.

He just makes too many of them.

One every year?

Why not one every other year?

Take some time off

to recharge,

spend a little quality time

with the wife-slash-daughter.

Get out there,

live a little, you know?

- Marry me.

- What?

- Let's get married.

- What?

Marry me, baby.

- Be my wife.

- What?

I'm serious.

Let's do it.

I'm sorry.

You're asking me to marry you?

Yes.

So?

- You want to marry me?

- Totally.

Marriage.

- I'm not buying it.

- What?

- There's something off about this.

- Wait, what are you talking about?

Did you... did this just occur to you,

like, 60 seconds ago?

- "Let's get married"?

- No.

I've been giving it

a lot of thought

and I think we should do it.

Uh-huh.

You got a, you know, ring?

Well, I will.

I mean you will... get one.

I didn't know you'd be

a stickler for protocol.

Come on, Mary Catherine,

we're not those people.

Just say yes.

If we're not those people,

why even get married?

We make fun of married people.

And didn't I tell you,

like, first thing

I didn't think I should

ever get married?

- That I come from a long line...

- You come from a long line...

- Both:
of divorced people.

- That's right.

I'm not genetically wired for it

and you said you felt the same.

So why this?

Why now?

Love.

Huh.

Wow.

You really want out, don't you?

So I'm trying to let go

of the whole idea of... I don't know...

that we have to pay for our joy

with sorrow or tragedy,

that there has to be

some sort of karmic balance.

But it sure feels that way.

You know what I mean?

Mm, absolutely.

You're really smart.

I do this thing...

I can't believe I'm telling you this.

Oh, come on, come on,

come on.

Anytime you want

an embarrassing story about me,

just let me know.

I have tons... tons.

Okay, um...

about a year ago,

I was in this cab

and the cab driver, this Indian guy,

started telling me...

he started telling me

all sorts of stuff.

He... he was just looking at me

in the rearview mirror

and he said, "Bliss...

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