Heartburn Page #5

He is really not accepting it at all.

I just have to settle it once and for all.

I have to see him.

I have to go.

What time is it now?

Oh, my God, I'm late. I have to go.

Hi. Della?

It's Rachel. Were there any calls?

My husband?

Well, if my husband calls,

will you tell him that I'm...?

No, don't tell him that.

Tell him that I'll be home soon.

Yes. Don't be too specific about it.

Just say soon.

What? Yes.

Put her on.

Hi, honey.

It's Mommy.

Yes, I'll be home in 15 minutes.

Well, ask Della to show you

where that is on the clock.

Tick-tock.

Mommy has to hang up now,

or I won't be home in 15 minutes.

Annie, hang the phone up, sweetie.

Hang the phone up so Daddy can call.

Annie?

Annie?

I'm sorry.

Taxi!

Taxi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

Nobody called.

Hi.

Tell Mommy about the banana.

- I'll get it.

- What'd you eat?

Oh, nice! And for me!

- Here. And thank you very much.

- Thank you.

Beautiful.

Gotta see who this is...

I hope, I hope, I hope, I hope.

"Dear Rachel,

so sorry about your mother.

"Just wanted you to know

I'm thinking of you.

"Love, Judith."

Sh*t! Now I have to call her.

Good evening. In our last episode,

Rachel discovered

that her husband Mark

is in love with another woman:

The tall, infamous Thelma,

and she has left him.

Taken their tiny, tiny child

and gone to her father's apartment

in New York.

There,

pregnant, penniless and alone,

she has been waiting,

hoping against hope,

as the hours tick by

without a phone call.

Finally, realising that if there is

no phone call the first day,

there probably won't be one,

or perhaps there will be one,

but a day later,

Rachel closes her weary eyes

and sobs herself to sleep.

Rach.

Mark?

No.

Daddy.

- Where have you been?

- Atlantic City with a lady. A looker.

Gambling. Her money. I lost.

What are you doing here?

Mark has fallen in love with Thelma Rice.

- Thelma Rice. Do I know her?

- No.

No, no, no.

Honey, when Joey Lazarus

fell in love with Zizi Jevay,

he went to his wife and said,

"Natalie, I'm in love with Zizi Jevay.

I care for you, we have six kids,

"hope you don't give me any trouble

about seeing them,

"because I can't beat this thing."

And his wife said to him, "Joey,

"I'm happy for you.

You're in love with Zizi Jevay.

"Hope you'll be very happy with her.

I'm leaving.

"I won't give you any trouble

about the kids.

"I've raised them for 14 years.

"You and Zizi can have them."

Yeah, well, what are you saying?

That I should give Mark the children?

One of them, anyway.

In a couple of months...

...give him the other.

- Are you crazy?

- They're my children.

- A suggestion.

I know. I'm...

I just can't do that, Daddy.

Maybe if I had six children.

Men.

I hate them.

Always hated them.

You wonder

why I hang around with women.

Because it's men

who do things like this.

Oh, Daddy.

Oh, now, now, now, now, now.

You're a wonderful person.

He's a sh*t. And I love you.

I'll do anything I can for you,

you know?

- I know.

- Now, I have some news.

Gene Kelly called about my new project.

Oh, that's wonderful, Daddy.

Says he hasn't directed in years,

but he might come back for this.

Oh, it's real exciting.

Exciting? The life of Balanchine.

Are you kidding?

Kelly'd be crazy to turn down

something like this.

It's a great part for me.

- And maybe you can write it.

- Oh, Dad.

I miss Mom.

I miss her too.

Although, let's face it, she wasn't

much good at a time like this.

Yeah, I know.

Although, let's face it, neither am I.

Oh, Daddy, what am I gonna do?

There's nothing you can do.

You want monogamy,

- marry a swan.

- Oh, no.

You get some sleep.

And I'm going to that little lady

whose money I lost in Atlantic City.

You sure she still wants to see you?

I'm in a buyer's market.

Daddy!

Oh, beautiful.

Della?

Della!

I'm going downtown to a sort of

a doctor's appointment.

I hope you're gonna see

a shrink, honey.

And I will be back

between three and three-thirty.

- All right?

- OK.

Bye, honey.

Bye!

Sorry. Hold the...

Thank you so much.

Excuse me, would you like to sit down?

Thank you.

Hey, I have something

I need to talk about today.

I can't decide whether to go to Club Med.

- Diana, I need to talk, too.

- When I'm done.

Rachel has something very serious

to talk about.

This is serious. Nobody ever thinks

my problems are serious.

Go ahead.

Mark is...

Mark is in love with someone else.

No, but...

Why does everything happen

to Rachel?

- Nothing ever happens to me.

- Stick it up your ass, Diana.

- Who brought the chopped liver?

- I did.

- Did you make it?

- I bought it. Is that all right?

I was gonna say it was delicious.

Now I don't feel like telling you.

Nothing is ever enough for you, is it?

Every week, you complain

about the food.

When's the last time you brought food?

OK.

Everybody on the table.

Money, jewellery,

anything you got that I want.

You hold anything back

and I'll kill the lady, just like this!

- I always hated that picture.

- Sidney, this is not the time to speak.

Come on, everything in this bag.

Move. Your turn, lady.

Come on, the ring.

Get that ring off.

- Come on!

- Are you having trouble?

My finger's swollen

because I'm pregnant.

I'll get it. Don't panic.

- Pull it.

- I'm pulling it!

- Let me lick it.

- Wait. Here. This does it every time.

Come on. Come on.

Hand me the bag. Give me the bag.

All right, everybody.

On the floor. Face down.

On your stomachs.

Please don't shoot me,

but I can't lie on my stomach.

Do the best you can.

And nobody move for five minutes.

- I'm really sorry about your ring, lady.

- It's all right.

Don't worry about it.

Thank you, Mr Brownell.

Ms Samstat?

- This robbery was not your fault.

- This robbery was my fault.

I know.

- I'm Detective O'Brien.

- Hello.

I want you to come back.

Is that a new blazer?

You belong at home.

I love you.

I'm not coming home

if you're gonna see her any more.

I'm not gonna see her any more.

Ever.

Not even accidentally.

I said I'm not gonna see her any more

and I'm not gonna see her any more.

I know this is difficult for you.

But it's difficult for me, too.

All right.

I'll come home.

Good.

Now you can put the ring back on.

Rachel, for God's sake,

put the ring back on.

- I gave it away.

- You what?

I gave it away.

You gave the ring away?

Not of my own free will.

- Someone took it away from you.

- Yes.

Do you want me to guess who it was?

My group was robbed.

By an outsider or someone in the group?

By an outsider.

And it isn't funny.

He held a gun to my head.

Maybe I can get a column out of it.

It happened to me. It's mine.

On top of which, it was really awful.

He twisted my arm.

Show Daddy where, huh?

Oh, shut up.

Well, if we get going,

we could still catch the 7 o'clock.

I did not take it as a personal...

No, I do think adultery...

Are you saying adultery

shouldn't be a cause for divorce?

I'm saying that, in most states,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes