Hellbenders Page #3

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for every opportunity for sin.

Hmm. Here, take this.

It's orange.

I mixed in my stool supplement.

You drink that to the dregs,

sodomize Macon,

and then you talk to me about duty.

Macon!

Come down here!

And somebody answer

the goddamn Bishop line!

I got it.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Augustine Interfaith Order of

Hellbound Saints, Brooklyn Parish.

Macon! Bring lotion!

Right, now, the vortex...

Thank you, Your Excellency.

Exorcism call.

A woman named Hobbick

in Cobble Hill says she inherited a demon.

Inherited?

That's what she said.

Sounds like bullshit.

Where is Macon?

He's in his ghetto sauna.

All right, take him with you.

Oh, thank Christ.

No! No you will not!

You do not represent

this church.

You are all an abomination

against man, law, God!

I will do everything

in my authority

to make sure that

I see your resignations

and that you are

excommunicated by the Sabbath.

Can I borrow the MetroCard?

Yeah, look, it's a monthly,

so hang onto it, all right?

You don't...

Hey!

Be careful, okay?

F*** off, Larry.

Macon, we got a job.

Mmm? Mmm.

Liz?

What's up, Erik?

Hey.

Hey, we're trying to get

out the door here, so...

Oh, yeah. I got this

lucky chain for you.

Oh.

Um...

It's... It's like a gift.

It's like a necklace.

Real silver. A lot of carrots, you know.

No big deal.

That's really sweet.

Thank you.

Mmm.

It's... It's really nice.

Thanks.

We should...

We should get going.

Yep.

All right. Okay.

Mmm-hmm.

Enjoy that.

You stupid slut...

Oh, f***! F***!

Axel, my husband,

was a minister.

Presbyterian at the San Ambrose

at 95th Street?

I'm not even sure

Presbyterians believe in exorcism.

Everybody's got

demons, Mrs. Hobbick.

But we're here to help.

Well, he died three days ago.

The few buildings

we owned, I inherited.

Where is it?

In the mongoloid.

Do you mean like North Asian or are you

being inappropriate?

A mongoloid man-child.

It's in the boiler room.

Castro says he's been there

since he started the job.

Twelve years.

I had to go back 17 more

in my husband's journals.

The boy was possessed,

and Axel couldn't help him,

so we thought

the best thing we could do

was to put him somewhere where

he wouldn't hurt anyone.

In there.

Wait.

Twenty-nine years?

You're saying he has been down here

for three decades?

He was six when it started.

We're going in.

He's crying.

Hey, look at the collar.

It's iron.

Old European witchcraft.

A binding spell.

Smurbots.

I used to love these.

He used to be a child.

No. The boy

is the prison.

We can't do anything

with that collar on him.

Who could do that to a child?

Macon?

Macon! You with me?

Name yourself.

What's your name?

Christ compels you.

Name yourself.

Your name!

In Christ's name, who are you?

Get ready.

I adjure you, ancient serpent,

by the judge of the living

and the dead,

by your creator...

By that which has the power

to consign you to hell.

Depart forthwith in fear

along with all your savage minions,

from this servant of God.

Tremble before the might of God

that has broke asunder the prison walls

and led souls forth to light.

Excuse me!

F*** you!

Motherf***er!

Motherf***er!

You motherf***er!

F*** your parents!

F*** your Smurbots!

You whore spawned

piece of sh*t!

You do not f***

with the Hellbound Saints!

You are f***ed for life!

You f***ing mongoloid

rotten-breath motherf***er!

How do you f***ing

like this, huh?

I will f***ing kill you!

You...

You're a f***.

F***!

You are a f***,

you f***ing a**hole!

Goddamn motherf***er!

Look at what you did

to my face.

Exorcise this piece of sh*t.

In the name of the power of creation

commands you.

In the name of God...

Flee in shameful defeat

from the word made flesh.

Fall and be judged in fire.

Take off the collar.

The power of Christ

compels you.

The church of man compels you.

In the name of God be gone!

Sh*t.

In God's name, who are you?

In the name of God!

Oh. Did you finish?

Oh!

Stop!

Stop!

Go back to hell.

In the name of

that is everything holy.

God is my shepherd.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid.

I am not afraid.

Take me.

I welcome you.

Take me.

No.

Little kids?

What's wrong with you,

man? Women.

Oh, yeah, okay.

No doubt, no doubt.

So I used to know

this chick, right?

Oh, sh*t!

Tomorrow.

Mommy!

I was him for a moment.

I could see the edges, the tinder under

the weave, and how it will all burn.

The Messiah was

inside me and upon me.

And he was right,

the fire is good.

Your god is only one of many,

and weak and arrogant,

and deserves the flame,

and the knife, and the grave.

Who's this Messiah character?

Surtr.

Where's Elizabeth at?

They smile at each other.

Where's Elizabeth?

The dawn after...

Surtr will burn this world

down to the truth.

Glory, glory.

- Hey!

- Hey!

Where the f*** is Elizabeth at?

Dead and dying.

Like everyone else in

this tinder stick city.

A teenager is charged

with 19 criminal acts

including rape, robbery...

Macon's out of the ICU.

Doctor tried to pull that sh*t one me that

he was lucky to be alive.

Just get him out of there.

Hospitals are Satan's brothel.

The widow wouldn't

tell me where Elizabeth was.

Elizabeth's gone.

So we get her back.

It's what we do.

No, what we do is send demons to hell,

no matter what the cost is.

She wasn't strong enough

to cut her own throat,

so now the knife is

in our hands.

Wait...

You want to kill her?

She's one of us, Angus.

It's Elizabeth!

It's not Elizabeth.

You do not name the veal calf.

If she had had

half the discipline this job requires,

she would be in hell right now,

and that demon would be

right there beside her

instead of

out f***ing the world.

She shat the bed, Larry.

No, we have to get her back.

We have to find her.

Is this your pudenda talking?

My what?

So, you two copulated once

without conceiving...

Which is bullshit

in the eyes of God, by the way.

We... We lost her.

She's not the first.

I have been at this

a long time.

I have seen too many

good men die.

We stand up for each other.

What we share is discipline.

You give up on that,

and you give up on faith.

And then you are

not a Hellbound Saint.

Hell, you are not even

a priest anymore.

Hey, f*** you.

Surtr is out there right now.

He is a God killer looking

for the edge of hell.

This is no time for weakness.

Get your head straight

or you get the hell out of our way.

Give up on her, Larry.

You hear me?

Give up on her,

or the hell with you.

Angus.

Come on, here.

Look, see?

Get out of

my f***ing sight! Go!

Walk out of this church

with your eyes on the f***ing floor.

P*ssy!

Jesus Christ!

You're awake.

You're drunk.

Rough day.

You're always drunk.

It's my job.

How am I going to not

drink when you smell like whiskey?

It's... It's my job.

Well, you are going to

have to choose.

We lost track of

the female minister.

But she left

a clear enough trail.

Fires, blasphemies,

a few corpses.

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