Hellbenders Page #4

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But a lot more missing persons.

What's your name?

Dozens, then hundreds...

Ordinary people walked

away from their lives and just vanished.

You said you were

just going to help us get reorganized,

be more efficient.

What is going on?

He's shutting us down.

He says it's from the Bishop.

You all slander the Church

and everything it stands for.

Read your Bibles.

Jesus Christ closed the gates on hell

when he ascended.

You believe in God,

but you doubt hell?

I believe in Jesus Christ,

so I know there's no hell.

So, there is no need

for embarrassments like yourself

running around escorting

demons back to a place that doesn't exist.

This is a sign

of contradiction!

We have real priests authorized

by the Vatican to deal with anomalies.

Those are dated the eleventh.

You have until dusk to

vacate the premises.

The eleventh?

F***ing damnation!

The birth of Christ!

Do not take his name in vain.

Don't you talk to me

about vanity, you f***ing worm.

God damn it!

Piss! Sh*t and piss!

Larry, this is not

from the Bishop, it is from Opus Dei.

The Bishop wishes

to maintain his distance.

Those are registered to

the Church and the city.

Opus Dei? You are

not even clergy?

We don't take orders

from the f***ing laity.

Your budget's frozen,

the Church cuts all ties.

You don't know

what you are doing.

It's already done.

You motherf***er!

Sorry.

Well, sh*t.

I can't believe I was so nave.

Naive.

Whatever.

I thought he just wanted

to help us manage things.

A**holes, elbows,

bibles and ropes!

We've only got until midnight.

And then what?

Then hell rises up

and swallows everything.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Stephen, what the f***

are you doing?

You leper's remnant

in Lot's dowry pouch.

Mind the ledger, make sure the rest of

these cock mane flossers

are ready for hell!

What is the last sin

you committed?

Discouraging thoughts.

We're going to war, man.

You got to f***, or steal,

or covet something.

Keep your eye on

semi-mortar there.

He's been compromised

by the demon.

We can't really

trust him anymore.

Oh, okay.

Angus.

Erik, go question

the widow Hobbick.

She had that f***er

in her basement for 30 years.

She's got to know something about

where he plans to locate the vortex.

What about me?

What about you?

I'm here.

Uh-huh.

What's the point, man?

We lost.

What's the point?

The point is, I haven't gotten in

my daily sinning yet.

I am hornier than

a three-peckered billy goat,

and I will f*** you

into a puddle of chowder

if you don't get your sweet ass

out of my cock range

and down to that widow's apartment.

Let me just get

my flip-flops.

So, what the f***, man?

I was here with the cops.

We need to find Miss Hobbick.

She was married to the dead guy

that owned this place.

I know who you're saying.

She was the last person

to see our friend. We need to find her.

Crazy b*tch gone.

And man-child, too.

The mongoloid?

I thought he was in custody.

He got un-custodied,

I guess.

Where is she?

Crazy b*tch came,

got her man-child,

and they went looking

for a shirt.

I said to myself,

"That must be a great shirt."

You mean Surtr.

What?

Surtr.

You talk English, man?

She took her man-child,

and they were talking

about great kills,

they were talking

about finding a great shirt.

Great kills?

Holy sh*t! You've got

Smurbots, man.

Can I have some of these?

Knock yourself out,

boss. Wait, wait.

Holy sh*t.

She was talking about

killing people?

Man, for real, you have got to

learn some English.

What's this?

Belonged to

the man-child.

I think this is how

they kept Surtr in the basement.

It's got markings on it

like some kind of Viking sh*t.

Did you hear back

from your guy?

Yeah, it's the

Babylonian finger.

The Bureau's getting

the same reaming from the Vatican we are.

They even took their guns away.

They got guns?

Why don't we got guns?

NYPD reported 200

new missing persons just last week.

Most with evidence of

violence, burn marks, blood on the ground,

neighbors reported screaming.

Two hundred? How did

that not make the news?

You think that's 200 dead?

Surtr has no use for corpses.

He needs followers.

Acolytes.

Surtr needed

warm bodies to send.

He was gathering followers,

corrupting their minds.

So it was like

a wave of hysteria,

formerly law-abiding

citizens doing the unthinkable.

Committing the kind of crimes

that scar generations.

And suddenly, Satan's work becomes

the responsibility of...

of police and doctors.

People completely unprepared

to handle such things.

It is a massacre.

Hey, I wouldn't go

in there if I were...

B*tches move.

Okay.

Angus, Larry.

Good, the gang is all here.

Sh*t.

The doors are getting shut tonight,

and they are not going to re-open.

This is Father Atherton.

He'll be taking over all

your outstanding cases.

He can't handle it.

He can, and he will.

More effectively and cheaper than you,

without embarrassing the...

Do you want to

take care of that?

Offices of the Church.

Oh!

You f***!

Touch me again and you're deader than

a clipped-dick Shechemite!

There's work to do.

Angus, they shut us down.

We just stop fighting Satan

because some dipshit

pseudo-Pharisee cocksucker

shows up with a couple of

meatloaf s and half a fag?

F*** that!

F*** that in the f***ing ear!

This isn't a job.

It's a f***ing calling.

You can't fire us off

a mission from God.

Leave him alone, man!

Move or get hurt!

I have been f***ed by demons, man.

What are you going to do?

Put them all out on the street.

I am getting my knife!

Except for you.

You stay.

I will do no such thing.

Stop! Stop this

immediately!

Who wants to bleed?

Stop! Stop!

Sons of b*tches,

I will kill you all!

I'm sorry, brother.

I thought we were still fighting.

Okay, all right. Enough!

Everybody stops or I call the police!

You have no idea

the cost of this.

The cost? This is

a Christian institution.

Christian? And everything you are

doing is anathema to...

You are a corporate dildo

with dangerous illusions of competence.

And I guarantee you that

Jesus Christ himself

would take a f***ing dump

on your front porch, pal.

Take him out.

Larry, you are

an embarrassment.

Go home.

This is our work.

Our religion. Our lives.

Where else are we going to go?

Go home!

This is our home.

What?

Penelope.

This is your home?

I brought you dinner.

I thought maybe

we could talk about us.

About the decisions

we need to make.

But I guess

you already made yours.

Elizabeth, wait!

Elizabeth?

It's for me.

Augustine Interfaith Order of Hellbound

Saints, Brooklyn Parish.

That is my concern.

Hey, man!

What the hell?

No! No!

Yes, this is

Father William Atherton.

I am taking over the open cases for

the Hellbound Saints.

Get off him!

Angus!

Yes, of course,

Your Excellency, I understand.

Right away.

I have to leave.

I'm coming.

What did the Bishop say?

That's not your concern.

Like hell.

Is it Surtr?

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