Hello, My Name Is Frank Page #3

but I can't manage a 24/7 watch.

I'm sorry, you guys, I can't go.

I cannot leave frank alone.

You can go.

I'll be fine.

I... I... I'll call you

every day until...

Until the day

that you don't call me?

It's only for a couple of days.

It'll be fine, right?

Oh, please don't flake.

You have promises to keep.

Alisa, if Rick hadn't quit,

maybe I'd consider it,

but something

is going on with frank.

I can feel it.

I can't leave him

alone right now.

Why don't we bring frank along?

You mean frank?

Oh, my god.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, my god, Laura.

I don't know why I said that.

I'm just really hungover.

- And I...

- Alisa:
F*** no!

I'm not gonna be trapped

in a car with a grown-ass man.

We're supposed to have fun

on this trip.

Look, I lied to my parents

about going on a church retreat

this weekend.

- So, we can't bail now.

- No!

No, this is a totally

f***ed up idea, Laura.

You can't seriously

be thinking about this.

I don't know if I have much

of a choice.

Come on, it'll be fun.

Hey, frank,

wanna go on a road trip?

( Bass guitar strums,

drum sticks tapping )

( Barks )

( Music playing )

Kim:
Thanks for

driving first, Laura.

I'll take over

when my head clears up a bit.

No prob.

Do you wanna

sit up front, frank?

There's more room up there.

He can't sit next to the driver.

Why not?

Ow.

- Sorry.

- Laura:
That's why.

( Music continues )

Been calling the shots

of what you

sold this picture

been cold

in the shadows...

( song changes )

No way.

We are not listening

to your Satan worshiping,

air-drum thrashing

insult to music.

What?

( Changes song )

Anybody wanna play

the license plate game?

Punch bug?

Alphabet game?

Sisyphus?

The movie game is a good one.

Yellow car?

( Bell dings )

Do you want anything?

- Laura?

- Yeah.

Why was Stacy

buried so far from home?

Well, her mom's family

is from up there.

So that is home.

And it was your idea

to take this trip?

Well, we all made a promise

to Stacy when she was dying.

She kept saying

how she'll never see

her 18th birthday.

And we were

just sitting with her

and all we could

think to say was...

We'll spend

your 18th birthday with you.

I don't think any of us

actually believed it.

What?

No, nothing.

It's just...

I shoulda known this.

You and I lived

in the same house.

F***ing idiot.

Want anything?

What the f***, Kim?

We're not even a hundred miles

out of town yet.

Why the hell didn't you tell us

this piece of sh*t only got

two miles to the gallon?

Sorry. I usually just

drive it around town.

So, I didn't know.

Holy sh*t.

Is that Kevin bowman?

What?

The gas guy.

Oh, my gosh.

Remember him?

He was like, a living legend

in ninth grade.

Senior quarterback.

The most popular guy

in high school.

- Kevin bowman.

- No, it can't be.

I heard he moved to New York

with, like, a model girlfriend

- or something.

- Well, apparently not.

Remember Stacy

had the total hots for him?

Do you remember

she saved that piece of gum

- that he chewed for like a year?

- Oh, yeah.

And she made an altar for him

with all of his pictures.

Oh! Do you remember

the one year that Laura

gave her one of his jockstraps

for her birthday?

- Yeah.

- She slept with that nasty thing.

Gross.

- What? What're you doing?

- Don't worry your little head.

My god, Alisa.

Alisa, don't.

( Grunts )

Hey, frank.

- Thanks. Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Welcome.

- Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

- Uh! Ah!

- Here. I got it.

- F***! I did it again!

It's okay.

It's...

Looking for something?

Oh, I'm looking

for something all right.

The question is...

Do you have what I want?

( Door bell dings )

- Restroom?

- Yeah.

F***ing a**hole.

F***ing tick.

- Yeah, you like that?

- Yeah.

- That's good.

- Yeah.

Oh, by the way, Stacy says hi.

Whew!

Wait!

What the f***?

Hey!

( Laughs )

Oh!

- Excuse me.

- I'm sorry.

What the f***?

Frank, let's go!

Get in the car, frank!

Kim?

Let's go! Drive!

Woo-whoo!

Let's go!

Drive!

- What the?

- Okay.

- Hurry!

- What? I'm driving.

What the hell did you do, Alisa?

Just getting Stacy

her birthday gift.

- You didn't.

- Kevin bowman's football helmet!

- Whoo!

- Are you crazy?

- He's gonna call the cops and

get us arrested. - For what?

This isn't

"Thelma and Louise."

I didn't rob a store.

I just, you know,

took a little memento.

Still we could've gotten

into a lot trouble, Alisa.

I can't believe this.

Yeah, if you want

your own stupid thrills,

do it on your own time.

Don't rope us into it.

You know what?

F*** you guys.

Stacy would've

totally been into this.

You two need to learn

to chill the f*** out

and have a little fun.

It'll do you both some good.

Stupid.

- Ugh!

- Ow!

- Sorry.

- Frank!

Ah, sorry.

They're gaining on us.

Kim:
Nobody's gaining

on us, frank.

( Sighs )

- I miss Stacy.

- Ugh!

Sorry.

It was never quite the same

after she died.

Sure. You had loads of fun

with Stacy.

Like the time she locked you

in the boys bathroom

with Johnny Dale.

Said you needed

seven minutes in hell

to make sure you really wanted

to go to heaven.

That wasn't really the time

I was thinking about.

And the time freshman year

when she unzipped your skirt

and your hello kitty underwear

was showing all day.

- That wasn't exactly when...

- Or, no, no, no, no, no.

The time she threw you

in the pool.

You were wearing

that white dress.

That was the first day I saw

your tight wet, hot pink bra.

So naughty.

That doesn't sound like

a very Christian color.

Stop it, okay?

My mom saw that.

I got in big trouble

over that bra.

- Do you remember when she...

- I hated Stacy!

Maybe that's why

you lied to your parents

about going on

a Christian retreat.

So you could take the car,

go to Stacy's grave.

Make sure she was really dead.

Why are you always

so mean to me?

I'm just saying it like it is.

You guys, stop!

- You know you're being a b*tch.

- Ooh, Kim just said b*tch!

You know, Jesus heard that.

You better ask for forgiveness.

- Oh... ah!

- Ow! What the f***?

Are you trying to get us killed?

Seriously, Laura?

You need to choose

who you want to be friends with

because after this trip,

I am done with her.

Ooh, nice friends you got.

- Can you get out of the car?

- What?

What, wha... wha...

What're you doing?

Wha... ah...

Stupid mental b*tch!

( Grunting )

Frank:

What?

( Alisa yelling )

Laura!

( Music blaring )

( Screaming )

Mother f***ing psychos!

F***!

( Music continues )

- ( Stuttering )

- Is she coming back?

We're fine.

We're fine.

We're just stranded

in the desert.

She's coming back!

( Knocking on window )

Laura, you okay?

Laura?

- Laura?

- Alisa:
Laura.

- You okay?

- I think someone else should drive.

Let's get in the car.

Hey.

Let's give him a ride.

Are you mental?

He could be a serial killer.

Ah! I'm with Kim

on this one.

Besides, I don't do well

with strangers.

- Axe murderer!

- Oh, come on. It'll be fun.

Besides, isn't it

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