Hello Ladies: The Movie Page #4

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- Nah, don't worry about it.

- Stuart, I just heard back from Tokyo.

- They love the designs.

- Great.

- I finished my coding, I just need

you to sign off. - No problem, yeah.

Oh, this is great work

you've done under my tutelage.

Um, can I make one suggestion?

- I'd change this from Objective-C to Xcode.

- Of course.

That makes it both more

efficient and user-friendly.

- Guess so.

- Should I work late and update this?

No, it's Saturday night. Get out

there, have some fun, all right?

And take this extra $100 bill on me.

Whoa, $100? You're the best boss.

Oh, don't worry. Get

out of here, you scamp.

- Nice to meet you.

- Bye.

Oh, good kid. Good kid.

- Stuart, I love your house.

- Thank you.

They're not very well-made, though,

are they? These California homes?

They're just sort of bits of

woods with plasterboard stuck on.

- We actually just moved into this

Victorian terrace. - Oh, yeah?

It's brick-built, so it's really solid.

- And sturdy, isn't it?

- Mm-hmm.

Do you ever get lonely

living here all by yourself?

I'm sort of rather ashamed to say it,

but I'm very rarely alone.

'Cause since I last saw you,

I'm gaining something of a

reputation as a ladies' man.

Flying solo tonight, though, right, mate?

No, no, no, mate. You'll meet

my current squeeze shortly.

She tends to be a bit sloppy

with the on-time keeping, though,

because she's a professional model.

Sorry, mate, you're seeing a model?

I am indeed. I am indeed, yeah.

- In fact, let me just... give me two ticks.

- Mm-hmm.

- Hello?

- Hey, you, it's Stuart.

- Oh, hi, stranger.

- How's it going?

Just wanted to check that you got

that text with my address on it.

- You nearby?

- No, I'm in Palm Springs.

Why are you in Palm Springs?

You know, I decided to go to

Palm Springs with some friends.

I thought I'd be back in time, but I'm not.

But you confirmed the plan.

It's a double date. My

friends are here from London.

No, it's okay. We'll do it another time.

There's not really a

chance for another time.

I'm so confused because

you confirmed the plan.

You sent me that text the other day saying,

"Looking forward to Saturday"

with the smiley face.

If you're gonna send a smiley face, it

normally implies that you're looking forward

to something and you're gonna be there.

You can't be careless with your emojis.

Ooh, I have to go. There's a conga line.

- Is there? Well, you don't want to

miss that. - Bye.

What are the rules? I don't know

what the f***ing rules are here.

- Hiya.

- How's it going?

- You taking a sh*t? - No, I need

you to pretend to be my girlfriend.

- Please.

- What happened to your model?

She's gone to Palm Springs

to join a conga line.

- Can I come in?

- I have a real date, Stuart.

It's too late to cancel now.

No, it's not. People cancel

last minute all the time.

- Who's the date with?

- Reno.

Reno? Really? You're going on a

date... what is he, a gunslinger?

- No, he's...

- Where are you meeting, the O.K. Corral?

- He's really interesting.

- He's not...

all right, the one is not

someone called Reno, okay?

So, please, come on. I need them to see me

with a beautiful woman, you

know, so they think I won at life.

- Oh, I'm a beautiful woman?

- Yes, obviously.

Mm. That's the sweetest

thing you've ever said to me.

I wanna live rent-free for three months.

- Oh, f*** off.

- Oh, well, have fun on your double date.

- Three weeks.

- Three months.

- Three months is insane.

- Take it or leave it.

All right, I'll

take it, but honestly,

- you've got to be so in love with me that it's

disgusting. - Oh, it's gonna be real gross.

Good. All right. Well, make sure you

wear something sexy, but not slutty.

- Maybe I should choose.

- Oh, f*** off. Stuart.

All right, just make sure you pick me

up tonight because I want them to...

Yes, you want to trick them

into thinking you've won at life.

- I got it.

- Great, thank you.

- Off you waddle.

- All right.

So just act natural, okay?

Yes, here we are.

- You still in I.T.?

- Yeah.

Yeah, but they moved our company.

We're in Wolverhampton now.

Oh, okay. How's Wolverhampton?

- It's a sh*t hole.

- Is it?

It's actually not a sh*t hole, mate.

Believe or not, Wolverhampton

was the first British city

to introduce automated traffic lights.

It just sort of blew up from there, really.

Oh.

I can't believe you're dating a model.

Gosh, I'm gonna look so ordinary.

Hi, everybody.

I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting.

Oh, don't worry. I will forgive

you if I reward you with a kiss.

- Ah, lipstick. Don't want to ruin that.

- No.

Mike, Trudy, charmed.

I've heard so much about you.

Oh, and you.

A glass of champers, honeybee?

Oh, yes, please, sugar bear.

So how did you guys meet?

- How did we meet?

- Oh.

- Therein lies a tale.

- Such a good story.

- Yeah, do you want to tell it?

- You tell it so well.

- Do I? Do I or are you better at it?

- Yes.

No, you're so much better

at it than I...

- Lipstick.

- Lipstick, yeah.

- Um, well, we were at Sandra...

- Bullock's.

- Sandy Bullock's Halloween party.

- Party.

- Yeah. It was fun.

- And, uh, yeah, lovely affair.

- I was a slice of pizza.

- Yeah.

- And remember?

- I was, uh, I was Thor.

- You were like a hot dog.

- I was Thor.

- Yup.

- And she managed to get my number.

And basically stalked

me for... what was it?

- Six months, sweet cheeks?

- Oh, I don't think it was that long.

- Wasn't it?

- Melon ball.

I was dating around also, you know?

- Yeah, yeah.

- A lot of options.

- She wasn't a slut.

- No, definitely not a slut.

- No, no, no, no.

- I just... a lot of callers.

- Yeah, and I won through in the end.

- Yup.

- Oh, lipstick.

- Yeah.

That is a lovely story.

Actually, speaking of parties,

didn't you say we were

gonna be hitting a party

or were you not able to get that sorted?

Oh, no, no, no. Yeah, no, definitely.

We're going to one of the most

exclusive VIP parties in town.

- Ooh. - Yes, well, perhaps a quick

toast before we get going.

- Mm-hmm. - To a memorable

night in the City of Angels.

Cheers.

Let's hope we don't get carjacked.

No.

This place sturdy enough for you, Mike?

- What are you doing?

- Holding your hand.

- Why?

- That's what lovers do.

Guys, that's Alan. He's

the host of the party.

Bloody great bloke. Although, you're

not supposed to look him in the eye.

He's just got this weird thing,

so just don't look him in his eye.

Alan, I just wanted to introduce

you to some dear friends of mine.

Mike and Trudy. This is my

beautiful girlfriend Jessica.

- Hello.

- Hi.

- Fantastic view. - Yeah, thank you

so much for a wonderful party.

- Thank you so much.

- Thanks for having us.

- Enjoy the evening.

- Thank you, we will.

- All right.

- Have fun.

- Thank you, sir.

- See who I was with?

- Hot, right?

- Oh, yeah.

Young enough to be your

granddaughters, though, weren't they?

Yeah, well, they're friends

of my granddaughter's.

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