Hit and Run Page #5

It's just dog food!

No! Babe, it's not just

dog food. That's my

whole point about this.

It's compressed

f***ing sawdust

and we're not leaving here

until my man samples some.

You got it! Just eat it!

No! Just trust me!

I can't eat that sh*t, man!

Why not?

I can't! Man, I can't!

I'd rather die!

I can't eat this sh*t, man!

Do you understand

what you just said?

That you would rather

die than eat that sh*t?

You understand

how that supports

what I've been

trying to tell you

the past 15 minutes?

Other people,

lives in danger,

they eat

another human being.

But you?

You won't even

f***ing eat this.

F***. That's some

profound sh*t, man.

That's some

f***ing profound sh*t.

Hey!

Come on. Come on.

Now, I'm going to

take your dog.

But I'm going to

tell you something.

It's not cool to wear

those tank tops anymore.

Unless you're wearing it

ironically or something.

F*** all y'all!

F*** me.

Oh, sh*t.

Get some.

Damn!

That's a mean kitty!

Thanks.

What is it? A '75?

Uh, '67.

Is that what

they told you, huh?

Sh*t! Suicide doors.

Suicide...

Uh...

You can shut that.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Thanks.

Seeing if it worked, guy.

Oh.

That ain't

a stock power plant.

No. Not stock.

Yeah. How many ponies?

Seven hundred.

Damn!

How much?

It's 700!

No. Into the motor.

What's the price

tag on this build?

Reason I'm asking is 'cause

I might do a motor swap

with that late

model Ford over there.

Yeah.

I can't really

remember everything

that went into it. So...

Ballpark it.

You know what?

It was about 14 grand.

Damn. That's commitment.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

That's what I always say.

And the South

will rise again.

God! You own that too?

(LAUGHING)

You know what?

It's a rental, actually.

(LAUGHING)

Aren't they all?

Oh.

(ENGINE STARTING)

Hey. Have you noticed

that there is a certain

type of person

that is attracted

to this vehicle?

Yeah. Like the guy

at the gas station?

Yes. Like the guy

at the gas station.

Like, if you spent two years

building your dream car

that is was also

the dream car of

a certain type of person.

Like people who are...

I don't know.

Let's just

call them rapists,

out of convenience.

If you started

to notice that your

peers were rapists,

what do you think that

says about the old you

who built this car?

Look. This car

is designed specific.

What appeals to me

is probably not what

appeals to other dudes. Okay?

I wanted something

that was as fast as hell,

seated six people,

and had a trunk

the size of an SUV's.

But why?

I feel like you're

insinuating that I have small

dick complex or something.

And I don't. We both

know that's not the case.

I have a lot of issues,

but not that one.

I'm just teasing you.

I don't think couples can

really tease each other.

I think everyone

pretends they can,

but really, there's

always some kind of

truth or judgment

in there somewhere.

Baloney.

Couples can tease.

Oh, yeah.

It's playful!

Well, of course.

I can say to you

you're too fat,

or you're too tall

and clearly I'm joking.

But anything else

I say I'm probably

hinting at something

that bothers me

about you.

But I'm framing it

as a joke, so that

when a fight ensues

I don't have to take

responsibility for it.

Do you want to

just go to this place?

Sure.

I feel like you just

got really upset, though.

And I honestly was

just teasing you.

Okay. I'll be back

in a second.

It's okay if you're

feeling sensitive

and I'll drop it.

The only reason

I want to talk about it

is so we can

figure out why.

I think it's just going

home after four years.

It's just bringing

up some weird sh*t.

What kind of weird sh*t?

I don't know.

Just weird sh*t, really.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Oh, my God!

Oh, hey!

Sorry!

Sorry about that.

Sorry. Very sorry.

Our bad. Sorry.

Oh, my God!

(LAUGHING)

Get away from the door!

That was a real

life lemon party.

That was grannies and

grampies fooling around!

(LAUGHING)

What you buying, baby?

I was just checking

my Facebook page.

I don't know why.

You ain't single and

you've got three friends.

What the f*** you be

checking on Facebook?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

What are you

checking on Facebook?

Maybe Allen put some

new photos of himself

naked in front of the mirror.

I have to stay abreast.

You don't

want to miss that.

Get the f*** out of here.

What?

Get your sh*t.

We've got to go.

Where are you going?

We got to go. Come on.

Get your sh*t. We got to go.

That's what happens.

I talked to him

No. He knows where he is.

All right? I'll see you soon.

Babe? You gonna

take care of the dogs?

Mmm-hmm.

Did you put the alarm on?

Yes.

(GAGGING)

Hey, honey?

What was Gil screaming

when you were

walking towards the car?

He sounded like he

was repeating something.

I don't know what the f***

he was saying. He's nuts.

Well, obviously you heard

what he was saying.

He kept repeating it

over and over again.

He was just talking sh*t.

But what was it?

Huh?

Charlie?

What was he saying?

He was saying "Yul Perrkins."

He was saying "Yul Perrkins"

over and over again

so that you would hear

and then we would

be in this fight.

So he won.

We're not fighting.

What are you...

Who's Yul Perrkins?

That's my name.

That's my real name.

Yul Perrkins.

Perrkins. Yul Perrkins

is my real name.

Why on earth would

we fight about that?

I don't know.

I just feel like this

is gonna be a fight.

Like, why wouldn't I have

told you my name before?

Or that comment you

made about my car.

Or the old me.

I just, you know...

I want everything to be

exactly how it's been

since we've met.

I don't want to have

to go all the way back

into my background

just because

we're going to L.A.

Can you calm down?

Come here.

Come here for a second.

Please come sit

on the bed with me.

I think Yul Perrkins

is a very cute name.

I think it sounds like

a Sesame Streecharacter.

Yeah?

So did all the kids

on the playground.

It was not very cute.

My dad loves Yul Brynner.

He thinks he's a badass.

But no one

in my generation's

ever heard of him.

Can I ask you

one more question?

And you promise

you'll tell the truth?

Yeah.

Did they assign you

the name Charlie Bronson

or did you get to pick it?

I picked it.

Was it 'cause you

thought it sounded tough

and you were tired of

having a sissy name?

Yeah.

That is the most adorable

thing I've ever heard.

Come here.

And you loved

Charles Bronson movies?

I actually named myself

after that famous

English prisoner

who named himself after

the actor Charles Bronson.

And I found him

intriguing, I guess.

That's weird.

To find someone

like that intriguing.

It's weird.

Well, look,

I don't know...

It sounds stupid now that

I'm saying it out loud,

but at the time it seemed...

I didn't know you

then, Annie.

So I obviously

picked the wrong name.

And I'm sorry that I...

It's fine. Hey. Hey!

You can call me

whatever you want.

You're not on trial here,

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