Hit by Lightning Page #4

No, no, I'm going to do it.

Do what?

Kill her husband.

Ricky, you've never even killed

a spider.

Oh it doesn't have to be violent

you know.

I could kill him with pills or

you know,

a lethal injection or

something..

Lethal, lethal injection?

And you have access to lethal

injection?

This discussion right now.

Have you thought of this? What

if you get caught?!

So what.

So what? So what?

I'm lonely and I work at a place

called Debby's.

What exactly am I clinging onto

here?

Ricky sit down, have a seat,

sit.

I want you take six deep

breaths,

in and out and go to the

bathroom and take a leak.

What'll that do?

I don't know, but you're talking

crazy right now.

I'm not. I've never met anyone

like Danita and

I'll never meet anyone like

Danita again.

To think anything else would be

crazy.

Okay Ricky, Ricky she's married

and,

and she wants you to kill her

husband!

I know. But everything else is

perfect.

Look, when you meet your soulmate

and you're in your forties,

not everything is going to be

ideal.

This is more than baggage!!

Alright?!

Sorry, but I've made up my mind

up. I'm gonna kill this mofo.

Ricky look, I want you to do me

a favor, k.

I want you to go home and sleep

on it, okay?

We'll talk about it tomorrow

night over donuts.

There's nothing to sleep on.

Besides,

I can't let that angel be a

prisoner

in that monster's home anymore.

I'm, I'm doing it. With or

without your help.

My help?

What the hell is that suppose to

mean.

What do you mean by that? My

help.

Well I, I just figured, you'd

help me, since you know...

You're my primo amigo too.

Okay dog I'm in, but you are

gonna owe me big.

Thanks for opening up my world,

Danita.

I've never been to a juice bar

before.

You sure it's okay to leave

work?

I'm the manager.

I have a lot of clout, but I try

not to let it go to my head.

I thought we should talk now.

Ben's at work and...

Ben?

My husband.

Oh. You've, you've never

actually said his name before.

You okay?

Yeah, yeah, of course.

You don't have to do this...

No, no, it was just easier when

he didn't have a name.

"evil husband who will kill me

if I ever leave."

I don't want you to do this.

I can't believe I even asked you

to do this.

I just needed to get away from

him and be with you and...

It's okay, sweetheart. Please

don't be upset.

I still want to kill him.

Really?

Yes! Very much.

Oh I love you.

- I love you more.

- I love you more.

I love you more plus six.

You knocked like a human being.

Is anything wrong?

There's something you need to

see, man.

There's something you need to

see right now.

What's that?

An old movie with William Hurt

and Kathleen Turner.

You know, back when she looked

like a chick.

Yeah. I know, it's Body Heat. I

saw that movie.

With you.

Remember, neither of us could

get dates...

It's time to watch it again,

bebe!

Wow, wow that really holds up.

You know, lots of twists, it's

compelling, it's well-written...

Okay thank you, Rex Reed.

She pretended to fall in love

with the guy

so he would kill her husband!

But I actually thought was quite

nice,

as played by Richard Crenna,

and then she set him up for the

murder.

William Hurt trusted Kathleen

Turner!

I mean she was being all crude

and mysterious

there was all that saxophone

music and stuff

Okay common man, you aren't the

least bit dubious, dog?

Some '10' just roles into your

life,

and then tells you all this

crazy sh*t about her evil,

jealous husband, but then wait a

minute...

she has a bunch of time to hang

out with you,

so that's pretty weird...

Well ah, he obviously works.

Oh okay but wait hold on sec did

you guys, you guys..

Yeah you went on a date, right?

That was a night, so and then oh

you slept together which

I don't know what the f***

you're talking about Ricky,

Oh well, well maybe, maybe he

was working that night,

or he was out of town,

or he went to sleep early...

you just can't stand to see me

happy, can you?

No Ricky, I do not trust this

woman.

Ah, ah okay. You don't trust any

woman.

I don't trust some woman who

wants you to kill her husband.

I trust her, completely.

And I am NOT going to let your

negativity creep

into my mind like a 'Trojan

Horse' virus!

That's a really bad computer

virus I once got on my laptop...

You hear me?!

I got to talk to you!

I'm working.

You came to my office. During

tax season!

It's the lunch rush, for god

sakes...

Look I followed Danita.

After you met her. I went to her

house. I, I saw her husband.

Yeah?

He's a rabbi.

What?

Her monster husband Ben is a

rabbi.

How the hell do you know he's a

rabbi?

Well he was wearing one of those

Jewish hats.

The... the... Yamaha.

He was wearing a yarmulke?

That's how you know he's a

rabbi?!

Okay don't talk down to me, hog.

I'm not an idiot, I know what

I'm doing.

I followed him. To a bookstore.

Okay, you're starting to lose me

here.

You didn't let me finish.

I followed him to a book store.

He use to be a rabbi.

Now he writes mystery novels.

About a 'crime solving Rabbi.'

He was doing a book signing.

Her evil husband is a mystery

novel writing former rabbi?

Yeah. I even read one of his

books.

In one sitting. I couldn't put

it down.

I, I can't believe a retired

rabbi

has gotten his books published

and I...

Look, this doesn't change

anything, you know.

He could still be a monster.

You know authors can be

egotistical pricks and,

and a lot of clergymen are, are

evil molesters.

No, no, hold on a second, no no.

There aren't any molesting

rabbis.

Only priests do that.

Yeah, yeah, you know maybe all

this makes more sense now.

Yeah!

She said that, that he was this

"great man"

to embarrass him and now we see

that he's this...

'published' author, this evil,

monstrous wife-threatening

published author...

Or, or he's just a nice guy like

Richy Crenna in Body Heat.

Just a nice, loaded guy who she

wants you to kill

so she can get all his money and

make you take the rap, Ricky.

This is stupid.

No, it isn't k. We have to know

if this guy's Hitler.

We can tell if he's Hitler from

a book signing?

I can. I can read people. I'm an

accountant.

You know it's probably not a

good idea for you to be here.

He can't see you, in you're the

guy pulling the trigger.

I, I haven't decided I'm going

to shoot him.

Shoot him, poison him, trip him,

whatever you want to do.

Trip him?

Yeah I don't know. Down a flight

of stairs or something.

You can't talk about this in

public.

What are you doing? Ricky what

are you doing?

You're right, right good call,

good call.

Hey, Mr. Jacobs.

Oh please, call me Ben.

Um, okay... Ben.

Yeah, any fan of mine is also a

friend.

That's... a pretty cool way of

looking at things.

Well seriously I wouldn't be

anywhere

without my loyal readers.

Right, right. I guess you

wouldn't...

Do you think it's okay to kill a

woman if she leaves you?

What? No!

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