Hit by Lightning Page #5

No, no...

Why would you ask such a

question?

I don't know. Just making small

talk.

You please sign this. Make it

out to "Seth?"

Yeah...

There you go, man.

We still don't know he's not

Hitler.

Hitler doesn't sign books with a

smiley face.

Well, what did you expect him to

do,

foam at the mouth and rotate his

head 360 degrees?

To kill a woman if she's left

him, he was against it, so...

He's obviously not gonna admit

that he's okay......

Look, Ricky she's already lied

to you once.

How do you know she's not lying

about this too?

I don't think she'd lie to me

twice.

If, if I could just see them

together, I'd know.

You see now that's a good idea.

We'll just plant the camera in

their house!

You know how to do that?

But you know I once saw this

show once

Oh my god the b*tch shaking the

baby,

stealing money, it was complete

disaster.

We'll just break into her house

and set one up.

You, you know how to break into

somebody's home?

You know, it's easy to piss on

every plan.

I'm, I'm sorry...?

Thank you!

You sure they come here?

The guy is a millionaire and he

takes her to "Olive Garden?"

This ain't Olive Garden, hog.

It's Pimento Garden.

How do they get away with that?

I dunno.

Okay great, looks like they're

not here yet.

You remember the plan right?

Don't, don't, look it's a good

plan okay!

You can make anything sound

ridiculous by 'shorthanding' it.

- Let's just go.

- No, no, no, noway amigo!

Look we go to make sure that

she's not a femme 'fatal'

like Kathleen Turner.

It's femme fatale and she is NO like Kathleen Turner!

Oh whatever, Sharon Stone or

Denise Richards

whatever you want...

Denise Richards?

- I don't remember that movie.

- You never saw Wild Things?

It was a classic, no?

Hey! How are you?

Hi... it's Seth, right?

Honey, this guy just came to a

book signing.

I never forget the face of a

fan.

How you doin'?

Wow, I can't, can't believe a

big-time author like you

what a small world, it's, it's a

small world

Isn't it, Ricky?

It's very small, it's very

small.

Okay well, it was really great

running into you, Ben,

we'll just let you get back to

having dinner in private

with your wife so bye bye.

Wai, wai, wait. Nonsense.

- Why don't you two join us?

- Pardon?

Well it's not every day an

author gets to converse

with one of his fans.

And besides you deserve a free

meal just for reading my books.

So what do you say, alright?

Great, common.

Good times...

Okay, okay, okay.

So Seth, tell me what is it you

like best about my books?

And please.

Don't spare a single detail.

Unless of course it's negative.

Well, I like everything about

them.

The suspense, the surprise

twists, the characters... ya I,

I love how the killer is always the

most unlikely, unassuming guy and...

Were you born in L.A?

Huh?

Uh, were, were you born in...

'Los An-gull-ese?'

Uh... was anybody?

Right...?

Well I was and Seth too.

Well, not Los Angeles, persay,

but Sherman Oaks.

I'm from Pittsburgh originally.

Know I, I first met Danita at a

Pimento Garden,

she was a waitress there and

I proposed to her on a Saturday

night and

we've been coming back to one

every Saturday since.

No matter where we've lived.

Awww

I didn't know that.

I mean, why, why, why would he

know,

why, why, why would he know...

why,

why that mean, it's very

romantic, it's very romantic...

Isn't it romantic, Ricky?

It's... Very romantic.

You, have been awfully quiet

tonight, honey.

No, no, no I'm just listening.

Well, you can talk too.

I mean it's allowed.

Thanks.

Hell, I'm a modern man.

Yes, that you are.

Modern enough to give his

beautiful wife

a little kiss in public.

Let's order.

Sorry, me hungry like a

'sumbitch.

Uhg..., that was great.

Benny you sure me and Ricky

can't kick in

at least for the Cherry Pepsi?

Out of the question. My treat,

please.

There ya go, thanks

Wow. What a nice guy.

Ya, I guess it's nice being a

millionaire writer,

never having to worry about

money.

Oh well, it wasn't always like

that, believe me.

I mean, it took me years and

years to make it as a writer

Wow, see, Ricky. I told you!

It's never too late.

Ricky wrote this really cool

book and then he just quit.

Aww. That's a shame.

I, I didn't write a book and I

didn't quit.

I just got, you know... eighty

pages into one,

a long time ago, and then I got

a real job so...

Well, I love to read it.

Excuse me?

I'd love to read your eighty

pages Ricky.

Here, I'll give you my card.

You can send it over and give me

a call in few days and

I'll give you some feedback.

Go on take it, it's okay.

I can't believe the man I'm

supposed to kill

is going to read my work.

I knew she was lying.

We still don't know that.

And she did seem uncomfortable

around him.

What are you talking about?

When he tried to kiss her,

she was uncomfortable, but he kept going.

He practically tongue-raped her.

Oh, whatever...

Oh ya. I forgot to tell you. I

met a woman on E-Happily too.

Yeah, she's actually hot, at

least her picture is, but...

oh umm, and if we ever do go on

a date and

by chance you happen run into

us,

she sort of thinks I am an

astronaut.

Hello...

Hi, honey. God, I'm still

shaking.

I, I can't believe we ran into

each other like that...

It is a small world.

You handled yourself great,

though.

Calm, poised, sort of, I hope I

did too.

Where is he?

He's downstairs, I can just talk

for a minute,

I wanted to die, him pawing at

me and kissing me like that.

I just needed to hear your

voice.

Umm, Umm, I'm glad you called.

Boy, he really didn't seem like

the monster I imagined.

Nooo, he's good at fooling

people.

Yeah Really good at it. I mean,

generous, affable...

He almost fooled me.

Do you think I'm lying to you,

Ricky?

No, no, it, it... I mean it's

just, a little odd.

You told me he's this evil guy

who threatened to kill you

and he used to be a rabbi...

How did you know that?

Huh? Seth told me.

He Googled him and checked his

website and...

You didn't just run into us

tonight, did you?

You knew we were going to be

there.

No, no. Okay, yeah, uh but you

know Seth just wanted

to make sure you weren't using

me or,

or trying to set me up...

Yeah, yeah of course. I, I trust

you, Danita.

Totally. I always have.

Goodbye, Ricky.

Hey, hog.

What are you doing here?

I'm meeting my E-Happily chick.

Hey look, I was wondering if you

can do me a solid,

maybe come over and break things

up

if she doesn't look like her

picture.

Oh, you know what you can do?

Say my Mom just died and I'm

needed at the cemetery...

No.

Hey! I'm helping you kill a guy.

Sorry. I should probably lower

my voice.

That's, that's not happening

anymore.

What?

Danita's pissed at me.

She thought I didn't just run

into her the other night.

She thought I went there because

I didn't trust her.

I don't, I don't want to pick

sides, the girl is right,

Because YOU put all that thought

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