Holy Flying Circus Page #8

We all started

writing around the edges.

All the people who arrived

five minutes after

the miracle being done.

Come on, Tim.

No more Mr Nicey-Ricey. Poke them.

Prod them. Get a reaction.

Weren't you all in some

danger of splitting up?

Or, at least there was

some internal conflict.

Did the film in fact

bring you closer together?

Yes, I think it did. After the Grail

there was about a year spent sort

of in the wilderness, as it were.

Also, there was a stage

where we hated each other.

We're ready for you now.

"I never hated you."

If He calls, we must answer.

"Whatever any of the others

may say, I always liked you."

Good luck, God bless.

A-A-A-men. HYMEN!

"What about your solo projects?"

"Are there going to be

any more Ripping Yarns?

Any more Fawlty Towers?"

There'll be no more

Fawlty Towers, no.

OK. In a moment we'll be joined

by two men who don't usually

review films.

So this is it, then.

In the red corner,

Organised Religion, the beliefs

of billions, and if He exists, God.

In the blue corner,

some men who like to get naked

and talk about moose choreography.

Let battle commence.

"We're joined now by Mervyn

Stockwood, the Bishop of Southwark

and Malcolm Muggeridge.

What do you think's going to happen?

Who's going to win?

Well, obviously, I know already.

Don't tell me! I hate it when

you tell me how everything ends.

Well, let's just say...

I'm not listening, not listening.

Blblblblblblbl!

You've turned the beer

into water, haven't you?

Christ! I wish you'd grow up.

Bishop, what was your review?

People have said to me,

"Bishop, you'll be horrified."

But I wasn't the vicar of the

University Church for nothing.

I am familiar

with undergraduate humour.

AUDIENCE LAUGHS:

I'm also a governor

of a mentally-deficient school...

Oh, I like this guy!

He's my kind of bishop! Horrible.

It's the sort of thing, I'm sorry to

say, that at Cambridge the Footlights

did on a damp Tuesday afternoon,

"or the lower fourth

when I was a school master."

Bit strange.

That's not very constructive.

I thought this was meant to

be a constructive debate.

I wouldn't worry about it.

It's just a bit of banter, innit?

Why lampoon death? I think this

is the thing that really worried me.

I don't think you'd make

a farce about Auschwitz.

Good. Always good to play

the Auschwitz card early.

Yeah. He won't have any

trouble topping that later.

When I look at that figure,

I know you're going to say

that Brian isn't Jesus but,

I mean, that is just rubbish.

The whole thing is quite clear,

if Jesus hadn't lived, that film

would not have been produced.

Come on, Tim! Stir it up some more!

"Call someone a shitbag."

Pull a face like a mong.

Kick the bishop. Oh, dear God.

Could I bring in Malcolm and ask what

your review is like? Yes. Um.

Remember that I was engaged for

four years in the appalling task of

trying to make English people laugh.

As editor of Punch.

It's almost

an impossible thing to do.

I couldn't help feeling

enormous envy of the ease with which

this particular film

aroused laughter.

You simply had to use a four-letter

word or display a man's private

parts in the window and the whole

place fell on the ground with

laughter. What's wrong with that?

Swearing is funny.

Windows are funny.

My genitals are funny. And

that shot was beautifully framed.

Even the framing was funny.

Also, of course, I agree

entirely with the Bishop.

It's quite humbug to say that this

is not a ridiculing of the founder

of the Christian religion

and of the Incarnation in an

extremely cheap and tenth-rate way.

Rummenigge! Two-nil!

Great stuff. Malcolm's

even better than the bishop.

Don't just believe because someone

tells you to, someone in the pulpit

says something, question it,

work it out yourself.

Are you seriously suggesting

that someone who saw that film,

say a young kid, who knew nothing

about the gospels or about history,

that the figure of Christ that would

emerge from it would be a noble one?

Well, it's not supposed to be

about him so people shouldn't go

and see it to learn about him.

Well, it's no good saying

it's not about him...

I'm not being dishonest.

You're being utterly dishonest,

my dear chap.

They're n-n-not letting the Pythons

h-h-have their s-s-s-say.

MOUTH NAZI!

I am very confused

and perturbed by a religion,

an established religion,

in this country

where people can go into church

on a Sunday morning and the same

people can sing hymns and say prayers

and at the same time

these people can stand by while

their money is spent making bombs,

making guns, building up appalling

weapons of destruction...

they can sit by...

- I would urge you not to make

careless generalisations which

are not dependent on evidence.

I... I make them in all humility...

I think the Pythons

are on the ropes here.

..but I have observed people...

- Because what you're saying,

if I may say so,

is a great load of sheer rubbish

and you've made the most ridiculous

generalisations which are unworthy

of an educated man.

This whole thing is wrong.

Wrong and really, really repugnant.

Your lisp is getting worse.

It really is.

If you made that film about

Mohammed, you see, there would be

absolute hullabaloo in this country,

racial, anti-racialist people would

rise up in their might.

The same people who would approve of

this would have thought it quite

disgraceful and behind people's

minds would be the thought that

they might lose a bit of oil.

But you see the difference.

Four hundred years ago we would

have been burnt for this film.

Now, I'm suggesting

we've made an advance.

I've never seen Mike this angry.

This isn't good. This great

drama of the incarnation you have

reduced to a sort of comic film.

You don't make people open

by producing the sort of

buffoonery that you have produced.

You keep making

the basic assumption

that we are ridiculing Christ

and Christ's teaching

and I say we are not.

Do you imagine that your

scene, for instance,

of the Sermon on the Mount

is not ridiculing one of the most

sublime utterances that

any human being has ever spoken

on this earth? Course it is.

No, no, it's making fun of the guy

who's remembered it wrong and

the people who've missed the point.

Christ is played by an actor Ken

Colley, he speaks the words from the

sermon on the mount, he is treated

absolutely respectfully,

the camera then pans away,

right to the back of the crowd

to someone who shouts "speak up"

because they can not hear him.

Now if that utterly undermines

my faith in Christ then...

No, of course it doesn't

undermine it.

I started off by saying that

it is such a tenth-rate film

I don't believe it would disturb

anybody's faith...

Yes, you started with an

open mind, I realise that.

APPLAUSE:

PALIN'S LOST IT!

STAY ON PALIN! STAY ON PALIN!

This is aw aw-awful.

They're behaving like total shits.

SHITS! Yes. It's not very Christian.

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