Holy Man Page #3

- Careful!

[ Clears Throat ]

- Kate?

- What?

- Are you insane?

- What?

Is that what you do, offer guys

you meet on the highway rides?

- He offered us help.

- Oh, you're new to

this planet, aren't you?

- [ Engine Starts ]

- [ Laughing ]

- [ Squeals ]

- Oh, my God! [ Screams ]

[ Kate ]

Oh, my God.

- Ai-yi-yi.

- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my God. Is he all right?

- Give him air. Give him air.

- He's not conscious.

- Maybe he's meditating?

- Face down in the gravel?

- He was-- He was kissing

the ground before.

- Ricky, this is real.

- Wait a second. I didn't hit him.

- I know it. I stopped.

He must've, um, fainted.

- Oh, God.

- Call 9-1-1.

- Okay.

- [ Busy Signal ]

- Nothing.

Okay, okay, okay. Let's not panic.

Let's-- Let's, um--

- Let's get him into the car.

- Okay. I'll take the--

Unless-- Wait a minute.

Maybe he shouldn't be moved.

- And we just drive to a call box

and send somebody.

- Oh!

- Oh, God! No!

- What? What?

That's not disgusting. I'm thinking

things out. Let's get him into the car.

This is exactly why you don't wave.

This is exactly why you don't wave.

- Oh, it's my fault now?

- Let's not argue about it. Come on.

[ Woman On P.A. ]

Dr Hoffman, 308. Dr Hoffman, call 308.

How would you like

to take care of payment?

Payment? We just brought him in.

I don't know him.

Well... neither do l.

- Here. I'll take care of it.

- What are you doing?

What are you doing? No, Kate.

- I'm bucks up, I guess.

Sponge baths for everybody.

- Thank you.

- Hi. I'm Dr Simon.

- Kate Newell.

Oh, the doctor.

Good, good. Kate Newell.

G is suffering

from heat exhaustion...

but, more seriously,

has some arrhythmia...

an irregular heartbeat

which may or may not be chronic.

I think we should keep him

overnight and monitor him.

- Overnight?

- What do you think brought this on?

- It may be congenital, or due to...

- My thought, my thought.

some traumatic event,

a shock to the system.

We'd like to run

a few more tests to be sure.

Thank you so much. Appreciate it.

Appreciate all your time.

- Thank you, doctor.

- Don't go crazy on those tests.

Keep those to a minimum.

Thank you so much.

What? No, I heard, yeah.

I might've been responsible.

I feel terrible, but I think

he's in good hands here, don't you?

Don't you feel good about this place?

He seems so strong.

I think he's gonna be fine.

And, you know, out of every

negative comes some good.

Like what?

- Well, I think this tragedy

has brought us closer together.

- Oh, please.

What? No.

- This is gonna make

a great story for our kids.

- In your dreams.

And, of course, one's a girl.

I think we should name her Z.

You know, Annie, I was

sitting home alone one day...

and all of a sudden

I was just thinking, "Balls."

- Balls?

- Yes.

And that is when I came up

with the concept...

for the Laundry Solution

Cleaning Ball.

That's ingenious--

balls that clean.

Yes. And you know my Carl.

He is a homicide detective.

- Miami's finest.

- Oh, well, we like to think so.

And you can imagine the stains

that he comes home with.

You see, you have your blood;

you have your grass.

- You have your sweat.

- Vomit?

Oh, yes, absolutely,

that's your vomit.

- I don't see any lipstick there.

- Oh, you bad girl!

These gals have something,

don't they?

You know, I don't see

a thing wrong with these ladies.

Who better than these

bouncy, homegrown--

- Hi. I was reviewing the sales

from last night's stuff.

- What the dilly-- Oh, look.

- Tell me.

- Eddie the dog couldn't move

the grass mats, maybe sold ten.

- No. He's phoning it in.

I'm gonna talk to his trainer.

- [ Phone Rings ]

Control.

Hey, what are you doing

tomorrow at night?

'Cause I'm having a bunch

of potential distributors...

over for cocktails at my place,

including Nino Cerruti...

who's starting his new

ready-to-wear line which I would

love to get here on Good Buy.

So it'd be so great

if you could pop over.

- [ Barry ] Yeah. Hold on.

- I'm sorry. I have plans.

- Ricky. Ricky!

- You do?

There's a consonant here

to see you.

- What? Shh-shh!

- A visitor?

A bit. Huh!

No kidding?

Yeah. He doesn't know

anything about it.

It's just if you were there, you know,

it'd show support and team spirit...

and I think that it'd win him over;

I think you would.

Strictly business?

Kate, this is me.

[ Cleaning Ball Lady ]

It works so easily.

I'll try.

You simply apply

Laundry Solution to the stains.

You toss it in the washer.

That's all.

- That simple?

- That simple.

[ Man ]

What fantastic balls.

- Oh, Jesus! What-- What is this?

- [ Crew Murmuring ]

- [ Crew Chattering ]

- No!

Wait a minute.

B-Barry, call Security.

Get them on the floor

immediately, please.

- [ Woman ] Go to James Brown.

- Hello. Security?

Uh, the, uh--

I can apply this while it's on you.

- [ G ] Great. That's even better.

- [ Woman ] All right.

Stay right here.

When I say go, get him out of there.

- All right. H-Here we go.

- Right, right, right there.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

I see a face on this. Come look

at this. Do you see a face here?

- Do you see that?

- I-l-- I don't know.

Can I have your headset?

Thank you.

- Look. Look.

- [ Gasps ] It's the baby Jesus.

- No, that's not Jesus.

That's Merv Griffin.

- No? What?

- Look. Upside down. You see?

- Oh!

Okay, listen up. Jim, camera three,

get a tight shot of the sign.

Cut to camera three

on Ricky's word.

- See? Look. I'll make it look at you.

- Oh!

- See? And he's looking at--

He's looking at you.

- He's looking at me!

Sam, when I give the word,

cut to camera three and go

to the teaser for Peppertown.

- Three, get ready. Ready?

- Peppertown teaser. On his word.

It's amazing. One person's cherry stain

is another person's talk show host.

- Now.

- Go.

It's all around us. We just

have to look for it, you know?

- Good. Good, good, good.

- [ Sighs ]

- Come on. Get him out.

- [ Chattering ]

Okay. We're off. Take him to my office.

I'm right behind you.

Robert Ricky. Look at this.

This looks exactly like Merv Griffin.

- We're gonna have a talk.

Let's have a talk.

- Oh, okay.

Sorry, ladies.

We're off. H-Hang with us.

And, you know, don't--

Everybody's saying "balls" way too much.

Don't say "balls."

Don't say "blue balls."

We're selling Laundry Solution.

That's what to say. You're way

too in love with "balls," aren't ya?

That's all I feel like I'm hearing,

is "balls, balls, balls, balls, balls."

- Robert Ricky!

- I'm right there.

[ Annie ]

We'll be back on soon.

I thought it was Jesus.

It was Merv.

I thought it looked

like Karl Malden.

- Thanks, guys.

- Sure.

- Thank you, Cedric.

Thank you, Ted. On you go.

- Thank you, Cedric and Ted.

- Thank you for bringing me

to Robert Ricky.

- Okay.

- What a wonderful place

you have here. Exhilarating.

- G?

- I can feel your energy in this room.

- Yeah. Sir.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey! What are you doing?

-Bad idea? Bad idea?

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