Holy Man Page #4

- It's a bad idea? Look at this place.

- No, no. Listen. Listen.

- Hey! What's happening?

- [ Inhales ] I can feel

the excitement in this place.

- G? What are you doing? What happened?

- Yes?

I'd like to give you

the benefit of the doubt here.

- You're obviously from out of

town and look real unfamiliar.

- G!

- Oh, Kate! How are you?

- Look who's up and around.

So good to see you.

You know something? Let me tell you.

I don't know if it's you that makes this

dress look incredible or vice-versa...

but either way

it's a winning combination.

Oh, thank you.

But what were you doing?

- You can't just jump on TV like that.

- I'm sorry. I had a stain.

- Yeah. Did McB see that?

- No, I don't think so.

Okay. Well, maybe he doesn't

have to hear about it, because--

because, after all, if certain people

hadn't waved to certain people...

as well-intentioned

and kind of dopey as it was...

I think we see now that it

was very misguided; we'll

talk about the whole thing.

Listen, we're right in the middle of

our day here. Did you come for a reason?

Oh, yes, I did. I came

because the hospital just released me...

- and they informed me

that you paid my doctor's bill...

- Yeah.

and I just wanted to come down

and thank you personally, Robert Ricky.

- Ricky. Just call me Ricky.

- You're shortening your name,

just like me.

Wait till you get to just "R."

The time you'll save will put

hours on your life, trust me.

Anyway, I just wanted to

tell you thank you so much...

and if there's anything that I can do

to repay you, just let me know.

Ah, I gotcha!

I gotcha!

- You know what would

make me the happiest?

- What's that?

Knowing that you were

back on your way...

searching, healing, following

that golden, golden path of yours.

And may God, or whatever it is you

believe in, smile upon your journey.

- There's a door right

at the bottom of the stairs.

- Wait. What did Dr Simon say?

Well, the doctor told me I should stay

out of the sun for a couple of weeks...

and then I should come back

and see him, have another checkup...

and if everything panned out,

then I can resume my pilgrimage.

- Where will you stay?

- During the day, I can stay

in a shopping mall or something.

- And at night,

it's really not that bad.

- Shopping malls are great here.

- That's good.

- No!

That's not right. You wouldn't

be stuck here if it weren't for us.

Okay. Okay.

Um... here.

Here's, um... t--

Here's $180.

Find yourself a motel room,

rest up and consider us Even Steven.

Absolutely not.

There's no way I can accept money.

- I'm sorry, but thank you.

- I don't want to offend.

You're very grateful.

- Why don't you come stay at my place?

- [ Both ] What?

I mean it. I couldn't let you

stay out in this heat.

What if something happened to you?

I'd never forgive myself.

I don't know.

I don't think I can do that.

He can't do that. It's a religious

thing, Kate. You'll never understand.

No, believe me. It would be

much worse for me knowing

you were out on the streets.

It's air-conditioned.

Great pool.

- Really?

- Uh-huh. I can't cook,

but I order a mean takeout.

Oh, man. Well, I know how to eat

some mean takeout too.

And if you spill anything, you'll know

who's got the wet wipes for it.

- Or the stain ball.

- That'll be fun.

It'll be like a slumber party.

- We could dance, wear our jammies.

- This is so great.

I wish I had my camera.

[ Imitates Camera Clicking ]

Ah, this is so sweet.

But, Kate, I cannot in good conscience

let G stay with you.

This is my... fault,

now that I've thought about it.

It's my responsibility.

G, please stay with me.

I'd like you to stay

at my house.

Do you have a pool?

[ People Chattering, Shouting ]

- Having fun there, huh?

- Oh, yes. I always have fun.

- How about you?

- You're after something,

aren't you, buddy?

- Definitely.

- Yeah.

Think I'll find it?

[ Laughs ]

Hey, this thing

works really good.

Look at that.

[ Laughs ] Thank you.

Mm. Okay.

- Very nice.

Want some sheets for the bed?

- Oh, no, thank you.

That won't be necessary.

I don't sleep on mattresses.

You know, mattresses are inhabited

by flesh-eating mites...

that live off the dead skin that flakes

off your body while you're sleeping.

I don't want to go through that.

I like the floor.

It's nice and comfortable and firm.

You might want to try it sometime.

[ Chuckles ]

No. No, thank you.

I'll-- I'll stick with

the old skin-eating mite pad.

You want to be a buffet,

you go right ahead.

I'm sure the mites will enjoy.

They're having nervous Ricky flakes

tonight. [ Laughs ]

Abbondanza, mites!

[ Chuckles ]

A very pleasant good morning

to you, Ricky.

Good morning. Look.

I don't want to hear of

any beauty of life, okay?

- It's too early.

- How can you be grumpy

in a beautiful setting like this?

- Look at this beautiful place.

- I'll tell you how, Mr G.

'Cause it's all, uh...

it's all hanging by a thread.

The whole Hayman empire.

And I'm... that close

to joining you on the street.

I'm sorry.

I travel alone.

Great.

Even you won't hire me.

[ Groans ]

O.J.?

Oh, I threw the orange juice out.

It was smelly.

It had a little smell to it.

Why don't you try this?

I made it fresh.

It's delicious.

Mmm. Very pleasant,

very refreshing. Try it.

Now, don't drink it too fast.

Drink it very slowly.

- Take it in.

- I'll drink. All right.

Mmmm!

- Yes. You like that?

- It's not bad. It's good.

- No, it's delicious.

- What is that?

- What do you taste in that?

- What is it, peach?

- Yes, peaches.

- It's good.

- Yes, and what else?

- I-l don't know.

- I don't know.

- My urine is in it.

- Psych your mind.

No, no, no, psych your mind.

- [ Water Running ]

It's not my urine.

I kid you. It's a joke.

It's herbal tea.

I know you like jokes. I wanted

to start the day off with a funny joke.

Trust me, my urine doesn't have

that tasty zing to it. I know.

Let's go out here and look

at the sunlight and stand in the sun.

I don't want to stay

in this apartment all day.

You can see all the way

down to the beach from here, you know.

- Let's see what you got here.

- Here you go.

Well.

You were cum laude.

That's great.

[ Phone Ringing ]

- Barry. Barry.

- Yeah?

Uh-- D-Don't tell me,

somebody else for my job?

No, no, no! Larry King doesn't interview

this many people. Really?

- Did you take him the fax I sent

you, the new image suggestions?

- Yeah. It's done.

- What you think?

- I thought they were great ideas.

- [ Phone Ringing ]

- Just great?

Uh, uh, amazing?

Uh... inspired?

- Erotic?

- Don't.

[ Sighs ] He's gotta like 'em.

I was up all night.

- I was up all night.

What else? Anything else?

- Also, the bank called.

- Uh, car guy or mortgage guy?

Please don't say mortgage guy.

- Mortgage guy.

- Hi. Hi, Barry.

- Hey.

- Miss Newell.

- Look who it is. Good morning.

- How's G?

- Oh, he's in the car. I left him there.

I cracked the window.

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