Home Alone Page #4

For the kids.

Hold on, I got a coupon for that.

It was in the paper this morning.

$19.83.

Okay.

Are you here all by yourself?

Ma'am, I'm 8 years old.

You think I'd be here alone?

I don't think so.

Where's your mom?

- In the car.

- Where's your dad?

- He's at work.

- What about brothers and sisters?

I'm an only child.

- Where do you live?

- I can't tell you.

- Why not?

- Cause you're a stranger.

Hello, Kevin!

Shut up!

I don't get it.

It looks like there's nobody's home.

Last night the place is jumping.

Something ain't right.

Go check it out.

Now?

No, tomorrow, egghead!

Now! Go ahead.

"Now."

Sh*t!

Get the hell out of here.

All right, Johnny.

But what about my money?

What money?

A.C. Said you had

some dough for me.

Is that a fact?

How much do I owe you?

A.C. Said ten percent.

Too bad A.C.

Ain't in charge no more.

What do you mean?

He's upstairs, taking a bath.

He'll call you when he gets out.

Hey, I tell you what I'm

gonna give you, Snakes.

- Snakes?

- I'll give you to the count of ten...

... to get your ugly,

yellow, no-good...

... keister off my property...

... before I pump you full of lead.

All right, Johnny. I'm sorry.

I'm going.

One, two... ten.

Keep the change, you filthy animal.

What happened?

I don't know who, but somebody

just got blown away.

Somebody beat us,

they're in there.

Two of them.

There was arguing.

One blew the other one away.

- Who?

- I don't know.

I recognized one of their voices.

I heard that name "Snakes" before.

Snakes? Snakes. Snakes.

I don't know no Snakes.

Snakes. Let's get out of here.

Hold it. Hold it.

Let's wait and see who it is.

We work this neighborhood too.

Suppose the cops finger us

for a job...

...and they ask us about

a murder in the area.

Wouldn't it be nice to have

a face to go with it?

That's a good idea.

Of course it's a good idea.

Snakes?

He sounded like a snake.

Everything's full.

Everything's full?

I'm very sorry, but

it is Christmas Eve.

What about another airline?

Nothing available.

May I help you get a hotel room?

Tomorrow we can get you a flight.

I can't wait that long.

I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're

doing absolutely everything we can.

I'm in your way. I'm sorry.

You've places to go.

Got a ticket there, good. Excuse me.

Look, I have been awake

for almost 60 hours.

I'm tired and I'm dirty.

I have been from Chicago to Paris,

to Dallas, to... Where am I?

Scranton.

I'm trying to get home

to my 8-year-old son.

Now you're telling me it's hopeless?

- I'm sorry.

- No. No way.

This is Christmas!

The season of perpetual hope.

If I have to get on

your runway and hitchhike...

...if it costs me everything I own...

...if I have to sell my soul

to the Devil himself...

...I am going to get home to my son.

Ma'am, if there was anything...

Do it. Do anything.

- I can get you a hotel room.

- What?

Can you excuse us for a sec?

Can I see you for a second, please?

Excuse us.

You got a little bit of a dilemma.

We got a crisis ourselves.

Allow me to introduce myself.

Gus Polinski.

Polka King of the Midwest?

The Kenosha Kickers?

- Hi there.

- Hiya.

That's okay. I thought you might

have recognized...

I had a few hits a few years ago.

That's why I just...

"Polka, Polka, Polka"?

Polka, polka, polka

"Twin Lakes Polka"?

"Yamahoozie Polka," a.k.a.

"Kiss Me Polka"? "Polka Twist"?

These are songs?

Yeah. Yeah, we...

Some fairly big hits for us.

You know, in the early '80s.

Yeah, we sold about 623

copies of that.

- In Chicago?

- No, Sheboygan.

Very big in Sheboygan.

Did you say you could help?

Anyway, I'm rambling on here.

Our flight was canceled...

...so we're gonna drive. See the guy

in the yellow jacket over there?

He's gonna rent us a nice big van

to drive to Milwaukee.

Now, I heard you had some problems

getting to Chicago?

To see your kid or something?

Uh, my son. He...

We left, and he's there.

If you have to get to Chicago,

we'll gladly drive you.

It's on the way to Milwaukee.

- You'd give me a ride?

- Sure, why not?

You've got to get home.

- A ride to Chicago?

- Sure, it's Christmastime.

Thank you. Oh, thank you.

You don't mind going with polka bums?

No, I'd love to.

Hey, Marv. Marv, Marv!

Look at this.

I think we're getting scammed

by a kindergartner.

Dad, can you come here

and help me?

Remember that kid

we saw the other day?

He lives here.

If the kid's here,

the parent's got to be.

He's home alone.

What? You want to come

back tonight?

Even with the kid here?

I don't think that's a good idea.

That house is the reason

we worked this block.

Ever since I saw that house,

I wanted it.

Let's take it one step at a time.

We'll unload the van, get a bite

to eat, we'll come back about 9:00.

Nine o'clock.

This way it's dark then.

Yeah, kids are scared of the dark.

You're afraid of the dark too.

You know you are.

No, I'm not.

- Yes, you are.

- Not, not, not.

You are so.

Mom, where are you?

Do you play?

Do you want to try? Go ahead,

try it. Try it!

- Excuse me.

- Yeah?

Hey, nice shoes.

Oh, thanks.

Is he still here? It's really

important that I see him.

He's getting in his car.

If you hurry, you can catch him.

How low! Giving Kriss Kringle

a parking ticket on Christmas Eve!

What's next, rabies shots

for the Easter Bunny?

Santa, hold on.

- Can I talk to you for a minute?

- Quickly.

Santa's running late.

I know you're not

the real Santa Claus.

Huh, what makes you say that?

Just out of curiosity.

- I'm old enough to know how it works.

- All right.

But I also know you work for him.

- I'd like you to give him a message.

- Shoot.

Kevin McCallister, 681 Lincoln Blvd.

Do you need the phone number?

No, that's all right.

This is extremely important.

Please tell him instead of presents,

I just want my family back.

No toys. Nothing but Peter, Kate,

Buzz, Megan, Linnie and Jeff.

And my aunt and my cousins.

And if he has time,

my Uncle Frank. Okay?

Okay.

- I'll see what I can do.

- Thanks.

Wait. My elf took the last of the

candy canes home to her boyfriend.

- That's okay.

- No, don't be silly.

Everybody who sees Santa

has got to get something.

Here, hold out your little paw there.

There you go.

- Don't spoil your dinner.

- I won't.

Thanks.

Son of a...!

Merry Christmas.

May I sit down?

That's my granddaughter.

The little red-haired girl.

She's about your age.

You know her?

No.

You live next to me, don't you?

You can say hello when you see me.

You don't have to be afraid.

There's a lot of things going around

about me, but none of it's true. Okay?

- You've been good this year?

- I think so.

You swear to it?

No.

Yeah. Well, this is the place to be

if you're feeling bad about yourself.

- It is?

- I think so.

- Are you feeling bad about yourself?

- No.

I've been kind of a pain lately.

I said some things I shouldn't have.

I really haven't been

too good this year.

Yeah.

I'm kind of upset

because I really like my family.

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