Homies Page #4

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But I take responsibility for it.

We have two options:

We can discuss this for six days

until Putin's cousin pays us a visit...

...or we can solve this together.

You decide.

I remember one time during a border

conflict between India and Pakistan...

...I was a driver for risky missions.

- I am so tired.

I liked it a lot, so when I came back,

I worked as a cab driver for a while.

And believe me, plenty of drugs

are sold in taxi cabs.

Do you know anyone?

I could give Aziz a call.

Great plan. That last deal

also went really well.

Well, I was really disappointed.

He was being ironic, Mark.

You're ironic yourself.

Aziz? It's Mark.

Just act normal, OK?

Hey, mate.

Homie.

Cocaine. What the f*** is this?

These look like the Alps.

This is a beautiful mountain, Mark.

It reminds me of my favourite film.

'Just when I thought I was out,

they pull me back in.'

Scarface. Robert the Niro.

No. Al Pacino.

- Scarface.

Yeah, but Al Pacino...

- Scarface.

In The Godfather.

So can you move this?

No, I can't drive around

with a suitcase and a straw...

...and let people snort from the boot.

Small packets.

It's been that way for years.

People are used to it.

I'm used it

and I'm not going to change that.

Relax, mister Aziz.

You relax, you moron.

But can you sell it?

- I can, if it's in little envelopes.

Where do we get 22,000 envelopes?

Do I look like a postman?

Who is this clown?

That's Timo, this is Sebas...

- Shut it.

Boys, I've got to run.

If you need me, call me.

If you need me?

- Call.

What do you do if you need me?

Just call me.

For sure.

- Please do. Just call.

You'll call me right? Great.

Salaam alaikum.

- Yes.

Yes? Are we going to fold

22,000 little envelopes?

Do you have a better idea?

Felix.

Five more days until you die.

Never let threats guide you.

I remember a mission in Uganda...

Bastards.

Jesus, Mark.

Is there a quicker or different way

of doing this?

Most mass production is done

by child labour.

In Sierra Leone

I worked with 8-year-olds...

Timo, isn't your sister a teacher

at a Waldorf school?

Children, I get the impression that

you are not taking this very seriously.

That hurts me.

So you must keep folding, come on.

What is it?

- I have to wee.

Keep folding.

- But...

When I was in Sarajevo,

I held my wee for three days.

I thought I was going mad.

- Mark.

Take it easy.

Five more envelopes.

Come on, you can do it.

I swear, mate, one day I'll have

my own boot camp class.

Yes, you're a born leader.

- Thanks.

Games Galore, Felix here.

You call that straight?

That's not straight, that's no envelope.

You have to fold toward the point,

little girl. The point.

Mark.

- Come on, put your back into it.

She's a little girl.

- Yes, but...

Sweetie, why are you hanging

with these strange lads?

I have no idea.

I thought you were into computers.

- I was. And I still am.

So then why are you into drugs now?

- I'm not into drugs.

CALL ME, I'M WORRIED

I think it's wonderful that you

are doing something with your life.

Thanks.

Only, why coke?

- I explain it all someday, OK?

Yes, Timo here.

- Right, you're on speakerphone.

Hi.

We have a little problem.

And it's because you are not sticking

to our agreement.

Not at all, really.

- Can you call me later?

We don't feel you take us seriously.

- Yes, and we think that is quite awful.

Guys...

- No, don't 'guys' us.

You will listen to us for a change.

- I'll take care of it.

Then let's move on. You haven't given us

any input for your app.

Or do we have to come up

with everything?

No, but I have an idea. It will be OK.

We've sent you a past-due invoice.

I hope we don't have

to hire a collection agency.

Boom.

- Well done, mate.

At times you must show

who's the alpha man.

We are.

- Let me finish.

We are not jokers, we are Appalicious.

You know it.

- What are you doing?

Homie.

Yo, Aziz. How's it going?

Yeah, very nice.

Nice weather, and everything.

Nice weather? What are you on about?

Marrakech, my man.

Damn it. Aziz, we were going

to sell that thing today.

You didn't say that. You wanted advice.

We have a deadline.

- What do you mean, deadline? Today?

Yes.

- I'm quite sure we won't make that.

Hey mate, I have to hang up.

I'll talk to you later.

Salaam alaikum.

- Right.

Jesus.

- You sure took care of it, Mark.

Good afternoon.

- Hello.

I am Van Dijk

of Van Dijk Collection Agency.

We are looking for...

- Piss off, we're not home.

We often see this kind of behaviour.

- I'll ring the bell again.

Good afternoon.

My name is Van Dijk,

this is my colleague.

Amsterland region... Amsteldam...

Amstelland. Police. Urgh..

We are looking for mister De Ruyter.

- That's me.

We'd like to talk to you

about some unpaid bills.

May we come in?

- I have this under control.

Eh... yes.

Just one tiny moment?

- Wait...

Wait.

- Put those boxes behind...

Sorry.

- You're here already.

We must solve this misunderstanding

right away.

Yes, I think so too.

First of all,

I don't think this is very polite.

Secondly,

you have made quite a mess of it.

I know, I, eh...

'Oh, Oh' interested in a cup of coffee?

- Oh, yes please.

How do you like it?

- Black. You?

How did we get ourselves into this?

Can we talk another time?

The old Bill is inside.

I don't understand why

it's not paid yet.

It must be those IBAN numbers,

they're so long.

We've heard that one before.

She's coming this way.

- Three, two, one.

May I ask what you are doing here?

We were looking

into our neighbour's flat.

Why is that?

- He was in the nude.

Yes, buck naked,

so we wanted to have a look.

He is rather well-endowed, you see.

He probably had an erection.

Willies are usually bigger then.

Right, yes, that's true.

We often have erections too.

Most of the time, really.

Oh yes, we love d*cks.

That's why we wanted to peek.

OK, that is...

...fine.

It's gone.

- Gone? What is?

My savings. That's what is gone.

That's why I've made such a mess of it.

If you would sign here

on the dotted line.

It's the authorisation for the payments.

I promise it won't happen again.

- What a fuss, eh?

You have unusual flatmates.

- Yes, they are a bit odd.

But anything goes nowadays.

We are going over to the neighbour.

- Yes, he has boxes of love for us.

Bye.

OK... see you again sometime.

- I hope not.

I'll see you out.

There he is.

Wait. Wait a minute.

This sucks. This sucks. God, damn it.

Now what?

- One second.

Where is your car?

- Sebas was the last to use it.

The disabled parking spot.

Sorry. You're the last debt collector

I'll ever see.

You're here. I was getting worried.

Soof, what are you doing here?

- Oh sh*t.

Debt collector?

- No, it's not what...

Why don't you respond?

- I tried to call...

What's going on?

I thought you no longer lived here.

Will you let me explain?

- You know what irritates me the most?

That, once again, I feel stupid.

That I fell for it again.

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