Hoodwinked Page #6

and be your happy little delivery girl?

- l have a...

- Ooffee break, anyone?

- Yeah.

- Who's got my keys?

You think Granny would mind

if l went through her garbage?

- Excuse us.

- l thought you were happy.

- Excuse us.

- l thought you were happy.

Open your eyes.

l've never even been outside the forest.

Don't you think l want more than that?

Of course you do. You're a Puckett.

[sighs]

l don't know what that means anymore.

[crowd chattering]

- Hey, look! lt's Little Red!

- No, it's just some kid.

- She's not wearing the red hood.

- There she goes!

- Excuse me!

- Little girl!

[clamoring]

[# Ben Folds:
Red ls Blue]

# Everything is changing

# You're looking for the cure

# And you feel like

you're the loneliest girl

# ln the world

# Trouble in your head, now

# You don't know what to do

# Seems like up is down and red

# ls blue

# Because red is blue

# Doesn't make much sense

# But red is blue

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

[Red] How do you remember

all these recipes?

[Granny] They're all right here

in this book.

Every recipe in here

comes from the Puckett family,

generation after generation. See?

Now, there's Sylvia Puckett

at the North Pole.

She found the best hot chocolate

in the world there.

And there's Emma Puckett.

She flew cheesecakes

across the Atlantic.

For as long as critters

have had a sweet tooth,

Pucketts have been making

and collecting recipes

all over the world,

refining them, giving them

that special Puckett touch.

So you see, Red,

when you put that hood on,

you carry on a grand tradition.

lt's a big job, making sure

the world stays sweet.

[Red chuckles]

Huh? What's this?

Oh, it says,

''World's Greatest Grandma.''

Grandma, l can read.

lt says,

''Battle of the lron Oage Gladiators.''

A-ha! Ahh!

- Granny?

- [chuckles] Listen, munchkin.

lf there are two things

your Granny doesn't do,

it's lie and play extreme sports.

# ln your heart there's a room

where you lock away

# All the times

and the things that she said

# And now red is blue

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

# Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh #

- ls it a flush that beats a full house?

- No, that's a full house.

- ls it a flush that beats a full house?

- No, that's a full house.

- lt's not my turn?

- l know about houses.

l built mine out of straw.

l'm not an idiot.

Am l gonna get to put the cuffs

on someone, or what?

Remember, Ted,

pieces of a puzzle make funny shapes,

but they still fit together in the end.

Boy, you're just full of those,

aren't you?

We are closer to the Bandit

than we've ever been before, chief.

The clues to find him

are right here in this room.

[chief] ln this room?

That's what l've been saying!

Are you telling me

we're back to square one?

[Nicky] Hold on, Smokey.

Where's the fire?

[man over radio] Timmy, it's Tommy.

You there? Over.

- [chief] Am l talking to the wall?

- [snoring]

lf you don't have your walkie,

don't talk to me,

but if you got your walkie, let's talk.

[chief] Put everybody in cuffs.

l'm taking them all in.

lt's what l do,

that's why l'm police chief.

Timmy, it's Tommy. Pick up.

lf you're there, pick up the walkie.

What are you doing this weekend? Over.

[Bill] We've got this place

locked down, all secured.

lt would seem that all of you

came together tonight by mistake.

Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads

so we could get to the real truth.

- The Goody Bandit.

- That's right.

The Bandit's still at large.

There's been a lot

of finger-pointing tonight,

but now all fingers point to the Bandit.

- Not my finger!

- Oh, no,

you were just out

damaging forest property,

cutting down the redwoods

we all call home.

Big guy like you, you could

probably take whatever you want

from little goody-loving creatures.

But someone robbed me!

Have we lost track of that?

That's right, someone did.

Maybe a snack food competitor.

Right, Granny?

Now, hold on a pea-picking minute!

l may lead a double life

full of secrets and deception,

- but that's no reason to be suspicious.

- Huh?

A woman like you could have a lot

to gain stealing all those recipes.

And that's how she makes

her goodies so good! Huh?

Or she could just be another victim...

- What?

- ...of a hungry wolf!

The wolf did it. Talk about profiling.

Why should we trust someone

who wears disguises for a living?

- Maybe he's not a wolf at all!

- You got me. l'm a poodle.

- Just haven't been to the barbershop.

- ls this all just a big joke to you?

- l just followed the girl here.

- You leave my granddaughter alone!

Yes, now we get to Little Red,

the girl with the basket on the run.

- Where is she, anyway?

- l was just...

[groans] The recipes are gone!

- Are you saying Red is the Bandit?

- Not my Red!

Oalm down there, Triple G.

The only thing your

granddaughter is guilty of

is flying hummingbirds

without a license.

lt would seem there is

another player in this game,

someone who's hippity-hopped

his way through all of your stories.

[thunder crashes]

Yes, there's someone else.

The only one who was with Red

when she fell...

- Ohh!

- No!

...who knew a shortcut to Granny's...

Oh, yeah. ln fact, l know a shortcut.

...who fraternizes

with evil ski teams...

- What's your name?

- Put, ''To my biggest and cutest fan.''

...and someone who was there

when the schnitzel truck

was schnitzeled.

What the schnitzel?

Not the bunny!

- l knew it. Never trust a bunny.

- Never trust a bunny!

- Uh, chief.

- Yeah?

No one's seen the bunny or the girl,

and that cable car left the station.

l think we need an APB out

on something small and fuzzy.

l think you're right.

Get your boys to Red's place.

We need to head off that cable car.

And bring in a police sketch artist.

No, make it a cartoonist.

We gotta hurry to beat it down.

Bill, get everyone in the cars.

Tommy, you can bring that evidence

with you. Let's go!

- You heard the chief, let's move it!

- [chief] Not in the same car!

[Bill] Keep it moving.

There's nothing to see.

- [officer 1] Who's got my keys?

- [officer 2] Shotgun.

[sirens blare]

- Did you get any shots of the bunny?

- The bunny? Why?

l told you to take pictures

of everything!

Ohh! We gotta get this to print

before it's all over the forest!

Something don't sit right

in my bones about this.

[yodeling in distance]

- [gasps] What's that?

- Maybe it's your bones.

[sniffs] l smell schnitzel.

[yodeling music plays]

What have they done

to my schnitzel truck?

[Wolf] Why are they going up?

There's on old cable car station

at the top of the mountain.

We've got to follow them, boys.

Red's up there. l know it!

Get down the mountain.

You gotta stop those cops.

Run 'em off the road,

dangle a donut, l don't care.

- Tell 'em they're going the wrong way.

- Eezie-peezie! Leave it to me!

You'll never catch 'em in time.

ls that coffee?

l can't believe l'm saying this,

but... drink up.

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