Hoodwinked Page #7

Synopsis: The candy recipes of the goody shops have been stolen by the Goody Bandit, and many animals are out of business. While the police are chasing the criminal, there is a mess at Granny's house involving Little Red Hiding Hood, The Wolf, The Woodsman and Granny, disturbing the peace in the forest. They are all arrested by the impatient Chief Grizzly. Detective Nicky Flipper is in charge of the investigation, and each accused gives his/her own version of the incident. Flipper uses the information to disclose the identity of the evil Goody Bandit.
Director(s): Cory Edwards, Todd Edwards (co-director), Tony Leech (co-director)
Production: Weinstein Company
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.5
Metacritic:
45
Rotten Tomatoes:
47%
PG
Year:
2005
80 min
$50,802,483
Website
6,354 Views


We may want...

...to stand back.

[sniffs, smacks lips]

[bells ring, horns toot]

Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Oaffeine! Yeah, baby!

- Whoa!

- Go get 'em, boy.

[laughing]

[sonic boom]

What...

- ...have l done?

- Now the rest is up to us.

Oan l have coffee?

[thunder crashes]

[zapping, buzzing]

l don't like it.

The cops are all over the place.

Forget about the cops!

We've got everything

we need right here.

What about the old lady?

lf she's alive, she'll be back.

You just don't get it, do you,

Dolph? l'm done!

l'm done dancing for the man!

The Muffin Man and Granny!

They can both take a hike!

l'm never gonna answer

to anyone ever again!

A-ha-ha!

[cackling]

Ah, l just love my job!

You see how it works, Dolph?

You prioritize, you set your goals,

you write a mission statement.

You ask yourself,

''Where do l see me in five years?''

[Red] How about behind bars?

Red! Oh, hi, Red! What are you...?

- You've spoiled the surprise.

- You're the Bandit.

Surprise!

l'm walkin' out of here

with those recipes.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You're a bad bunny.

Oh, somebody's finally catching up!

Did you think l followed you around

on your deliveries because l liked you?

Oh, you best be fearing the ear, baby.

Ahh!

Hai-yahh!

ls that all you got?

- Ohh!

- Ha! You hit like a girl!

Oome on.

And ka-blam!

[sniffling]

Why don't you go home

and cry to your granny?

Dolph, tie up the brat.

Lesa, hold the book.

Vincent, get the truck. And Keith...

Darn it, change your name. Please.

That's not scary,

and l'm embarrassed to say it.

- Boris. Try that.

- Hmm.

Keith. You know?

Oh, watch out for Keith.

- You're crazy!

- Maybe so.

But l'm top of the woods now, baby!

# When you're

# Hopping on down the bunny trail

# The critters all seem to look down

# You're fuzzy and small

Your ears are too tall

# And goodies make the woods go round

# Now, l'm not a pig

But you gotta think big

# When you're competing

with the girl in the hood

# So you won't be a fan of my evil plan

# But l'm gonna be top of the woods

# Now the kids will be packed

with my Boingo snacks

# Oonstruction begins in a day

# And all of the bears

will be ruled by the hare

# As l maniacally plot

from my evil lair

[cackles]

[whistling tune]

We've really grown in the past year.

Nabbing all the recipes was phase one.

Now phase two is adding

my own special ingredient

to every goody.

A little something

l like to call ''Boingonium.''

lt makes my snacks a little more...

habit-forming.

Happy customer!

Phase three gets a little messy.

l'm gonna need a lot of real estate

down the mountain,

so l've gotta blow the competition away.

Oh, and that's not a metaphor.

We've literally got

to blow them away. OK?

Yeah, l got it.

And now that l have

your granny's secrets,

l'm afraid you'll be taking

the dyno-mite express home.

- [muffled screaming]

- [Boingo laughing]

# You won't be disrespecting

this bunny no more

# 'Oause l'm gonna be top of the woods

Oh, yeah

# l said l'm gonna be top of the woods

# Let's bring it on home!

# l said, l'm gonna be

# Top of the woods

# You've been hoodwinked, baby!

# Oh, yeah #

Sweet tea and cookies!

We got to do something!

l know.

The song was catchy,

but the choreography was terrible.

OK, listen.

l have an idea, but we need

to get past that ski team.

The toughest one is the big fella,

really mean-looking,

with a fat head and a thick skull.

Looks like a shaved ape.

- [clears throat]

- l mean, he is u-u-u-ugly!

Like a big, swollen, overgrown...

He's standing right behind me, isn't he?

- Mm-hm.

- Ahh!

[all shouting, grunting]

Ah.

[chomping]

[sirens blare]

Ohh! Ohh!

Whoa!

Whew!

- Who taught you how to drive?

- Almost hit a squirrel. That was close.

- Whee-yahh!

- [all screaming]

- [metal crunching]

- [glass breaking]

[sputtering]

What's the big idea?

l could've made road pizza

out of you, kid!

[babbling]

- What's he saying?

- What is it, boy?

- [babbling]

- Truck. Trouble at the mill!

ls the barn on fire?

The barn's on fire! The well!

Timmy's stuck in the well!

Hold on. He seems to be

speaking words of some kind.

Pffsst!

You're a delivery girl.

Then could you do me a favor?

Oould you take this down the mountain?

'Oause it absolutely, positively

has to be there tonight!

l'm sorry. What?

l can't quite... with the...

You got something right there

across your mouth! [laughs]

[muffled shouting]

You're an actor, right?

So this is your big part.

This is the role of a lifetime.

Make them believe in you.

Don't act like an evil henchman,

be an evil henchman. Got it?

- Know what you're gonna say, right?

- Right!

- [Red struggling]

- [chuckling]

- Mr. Rabbit?

- Dolph! Where have you been?

You nim-witted Eurotrash with the...

What is that, a ski mask?

l like that. See, that's scary.

That's good.

- Boss...

- What? Say it! Spit it out!

- What's going on?

- Boss...

Paul's Bunion cream

has the soothing formula...

Hi there. What he means to say

is that l'm the building inspector.

- Yes.

- l just need to tap the pipes

to see if your wiring's up to par.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it. You're not...

No. You can't touch anything in here.

Let's walk.

Let me level with you.

You're an evil genius, right?

Well, l don't know

if l'd say genius, you know.

l was asked to join Mensa.

You got an evil lair in a cave,

that's standard,

but see, most masters of evil

that we deal with

are up to evil genius code.

Are you familiar with the code?

You know, l'm more of a

do-it-yourself kind of guy. Yeah.

l understand.

Thinking about putting in a laser?

l don't know. l don't...

Do you think l should?

Well, it's standard equipment

for a cave lair.

l'm not saying you're

gonna zap someone today,

but you gotta think about the future.

They gotta be calibrated.

- You gonna do that yourself?

- Well, l... l...

We should take a look

at that power grid.

OK. Yeah, sure, sure.

Wait a minute.

[sniffs]

l smell hairspray.

[gasps] A-haaa!

Oome here, you little bunny!

- [Granny laughs]

- Huh?

Ooh!

Whoo!

Ha-ha!

Gotcha!

Get over here!

- Aahhh!

- [bike bell rings]

Hey, Puckett!

Little Red's gonna take a ride!

And there ain't...

...no...

...brakes!

[cackling]

Red!

Aah!

Whoo!

She doesn't trust you anymore, Granny!

Out of my way, bunny!

Whoo! Ha-ha!

Ahh!

Uhh!

- [groans]

- [panting]

[whooping]

Dolph!

Whahh!

Wow, that's a... that's a long way.

- We could take the truck.

- Let's take the truck.

Yeah, cool.

They go up, you go down.

Gotta help! APB! Get the bunny!

- This squirrel ate the wrong nuts.

- English! What's wrong with you?

Wait a minute. l've got an idea.

[babbling]

[rewinding]

[babbling]

Ah... OK.

The criminal cannot be found

at the bottom of the mountain.

He resides at the top

in a cave fortress

where my companions

are trying to detain him.

[chuckles] Aww.

- That's more like it.

- How do we know he's on the level?

He threw himself in front of a car.

Rate this script:4.5 / 2 votes

Cory Edwards

Cory Edwards (born August 21, 1968) is an American film director, screenwriter, and stand-up comedian. He is probably best known for co-directing, co-writing, and voice acting in Hoodwinked (2005), and for co-writing and voice acting in the 2011 sequel Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil. He is the older brother of screenwriter/director Todd Edwards and film producer Katie Hooten. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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