Hoodwinked Too! Hood VS. Evil Page #4

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If you wanna hear me sing anymore,

you'll have to catch my show.

Fe-fi-fo-fum! I gotcha now!

- Jump!

- Are you crazy? We're a mile up.

- Don't argue! Just jump!

- OK.

This is not how you treat an entertainer

of my caliber.

Hey, Twitchy, you didn't bring

a parachute by any chance, did ya?

Uh... No. Gum?

No, thanks. I'm trying to cut down.

Gotcha!

Oh, muffins.

Never trust short people!

# I'm visitin' the city, yes I am

# Just strolling 'round Big City

with no plans

# 'Cause things was crazy in the country

but here I'm nice and comfy

Boys, I seem to have landed

on a singing goat.

# And now I'm in a dark tunnel

# And I think I smell burritos #

I can't believe

this all leads to Boingo.

Never trust a bunny.

Never trust a bunny!

- I think that went off pretty smooth.

- What was that disguise supposed to be?

- Fake beards are classic.

- You look like a deranged Santa Claus.

Santa gave me that beard.

Hello, Clarice.

- Who's Clarice?

- She is. Hi, Clarice!

- Enjoy the book, Boingo.

- We share a love of literature.

So, Red, I see that stray dog

is still following you around.

Don't let him mess with your head.

Let me guess. You're the brains,

and you're... not the brains?

Who's up for hasenpfeffer.

We know you've been working

with The Giant.

Oh, really? How? I don't get out much.

- Talked to any witches lately?

- Which witch?

Oh, you mean the witch

that took your granny.

When she said she wanted

to take out old beehive,

I said, "Now, there's something

we've got in common. "

She did mention something about

outwitting some incompetent,

stupid, meddling, jerkfaced HEA agents!

I assumed she was talking about you two.

- I wasn't there.

- No, of course you weren't.

Relax, Fido. You've got Little Red

Riding Hood to protect you now.

- I do OK on my own.

- Is that before or after

- I bail you out?

- You weren't doing a lot of bailing

- when I saved your cape at the bar!

- I had everything under control.

- Another minute and I would've...

- Have been pt!

- I don't need your help.

- Oh, really?

- Watch me.

- Ow! No! Not the ears!

You didn't even say the magic word.

- Abracadabra.

- Ow! That's not even...

Well, actually, that is the magic word.

I don't know where Granny is.

The witch sends me notes,

and I put the word out.

- Tell me where they are.

- Ow. Ow.

You're still mad about me trying to kill

you all those times, aren't you?

- Hey, books!

- Hey, no, wait!

Don't read that!

Nobody reads books anymore.

Movies are always better.

Especially sequels.

How does the witch get messages

into your books?

Why don't you ask her?

She was just here.

The cleaning lady!

Come on, hurry!

She can't have gotten far!

Oh, she was right under our noses!

Aah! I'm blind!

No, wait. A little help.

See? I said it before. Disguises work.

Would you stop it already! If you hadn't

distracted me in there, I would have...

- Oh, so this is my fault, too?

- Yeah, it is.

That's great, coming from someone who

just took off to play Crouching Baker.

I stayed to do the job. It's not like

this is easy. I'm doing my best here.

Yeah, well, your best got my granny

and two innocent kids kidnapped!

OK, fine! You're right! It did.

This is all my fault. My screw-ups

are putting everyone in danger.

I'll probably

get you nabbed next. Happy?

A little help! Rolling now!

That's not what I meant.

You've made your point, Red.

This partnership's a disaster.

I better leave

before I do any more damage.

I've always been a lone wolf.

Tell Nicky I quit.

Sorry, Red. He's my ride.

Do I sound weird?

I sound weird to me!

I sound weird to me!

How is the truffle coming, Abigail?

I can't work

with such inferior equipment.

This mixing machine is ten years old,

and the measuring cups are cracked.

I need exact measurements!

I can't work miracles with this stuff!

You should try, Abigail, or those little

bratwursts will be on the menu tonight!

Your Tibetan cocoa sticks.

These did not come easy.

The Happily Ever After Agency

is everywhere!

Only three? I need four.

- Four?!

- I can't make it without four sticks.

I have lost two Sherpas

in those mountains already.

Do you know how much a Sherpa costs?

They've got a union.

I've gotta pay for goats.

I've gotta pay for the little hats.

There's per diem.

You want this done right,

or don't you?

You bring me a decent flour sifter

and some real measuring cups,

then I might be able to remember

the final ingredient.

Fine!

But you better get cooking, Abigail.

Four cocoa sticks. Just take

two cocoa sticks and break 'em in half!

Oh, don't you worry.

I'll get cooking all right.

Boo-yah!

Still got it.

Get the remote.

Time for Rachael Ray.

Leave me alone.

I'm trying to fill the awful emptiness

that lives deep inside me with food.

Children, I found you.

Granny Puckett!

- How did you get out?

- I've got my ways, little one.

Come on, we gotta get

you two out of here.

The exit is there.

We saw the witch go through that way.

Show me. But we gotta be quiet.

The exit is straight ahead.

Don't be suspicious. Continue moving.

- What? What is this?

- It's a big cage, dum-dum.

- Huh? What's she doing here?

- You tell us.

I thought you said

she was locked up tight.

- She was! She just needed more...

- More tools to do the escaping with?

You mean all this time,

you two were never...?

In danger? No!

We're not even kidnapped!

- We're the kidnappers!

- Ja! You've been hoodwinked!

- Too! Ja, Hansel!

- Ja, Gretel!

We're evil! We're...

something else that rhymes with evil!

You two are the nastiest children I have

ever had the displeasure of meeting.

Don't blame us. It is society's fault.

We had the displeasure of being

the children of a poor woodcutter.

We never had any sweets

for the snacking.

But now we will have

the greatest dessert of all time,

to make us unstoppable!

Well, this chef just turned in

her apron.

You'll never get the secret ingredient.

Don't worry.

We have ways of making you bake.

Verushka, keep your scary mask on!

You want to look spooky or not?

- And turn your eyes back on.

- Oh. Oh, right.

Mm-hm. Mm. Very scary. Now,

can you keep her locked up this time?

- Yes!

- And remember,

we are in charge, Verushka.

Verushka? Verushka Von Vine?

You finally remember me. How nice!

Perhaps you also remember this.

Is that what this is about?

It all started when we were

Sisters together in the Sisterhood.

You were always so good at everything.

I tried so hard to beat you,

but you were always better than me.

Then came that terrible day of the

ancient recipe ritual, when the...

Why are you telling me this?

I was there.

Abigail! This is my big,

super-evil-villain moment!

- So will you just shut up?!

- OK, OK.

Now, where was I?

Started at the Sisterhood,

always number two... Did I get

to the part about the truffle?

- Yes.

- I couldn't make that stinking truffle!

But you did!

And I knew then that you were the reason

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