Hot Tub Time Machine Page #8

Nice. So, you win.

You deviated from the plan

in a really big way. That's good.

33 people died of E. coli.

Including my father.

Before he died,

he looked at me and he said,

"Adam, you did this."

No, he didn't.

Yes, he did,

with his eyes.

I don't think that

that's what he meant with his eyes.

The point is that Kelly and I dealt with

the guilt of this in very different ways.

She went wild, right?

She didn't want

to have control over anything.

But I vowed to master the chaos,

- to impose order.

- Adam, I really don't think

that you can let a poison pizza

ruin the rest of your life.

You got to embrace the chaos.

You have to.

That way, life might just astonish you.

- I had so much fun tonight.

- I know!

F***! Game on.

- You look so hot, by the way.

- Thanks.

I said, start sucking, gaylord.

- Yeah! Suck!

- Suck that sh*t, man!

Suck! Suck! Suck!

Who are you people?

God, who are you people?

Let's get on with this.

My fondue's getting cold.

Choke on that horn, man!

Oh!

Wow, good for you.

I know, right?

It's like Gary Coleman's f***ing forearm.

It's so black!

It's so impossibly black.

- I love you, buddy.

- Don't say that!

I'm sorry, I do.

No, no, no!

Hey, you.

Maybe what you need

isn't in here, after all.

Maybe what you need

has always been in here.

- Really?

- No.

The tub? Is it fixed yet?

Can be. Ready to go?

Wait, go where?

To the room, check it out.

I've got the part right here.

Yeah. Yeah, let's go.

- Let's go.

- Right.

- Where did he go?

- Who?

This f***ing guy.

Nicholas.

Nicky. Nicholas.

Hey! There he is!

- What?

- What the f***?

What? What?

What, do I still have some on my face?

Oh, God!

Damn!

Did you have pineapple today?

I can't go home. What the f***?

I'm f***ing with you, dude.

It's hand soap.

Oh, my God. Relax.

It's like you haven't seen a little come

on your friend's face before, or something.

What the f***

is wrong with you, man?

I'm just kidding.

It's what friends do. God!

You didn't?

Gargle your hog? No, man.

After they pulled you off of me,

me and Rick talked it out.

He's actually a pretty cool guy.

We have a lot in common.

We both love tits and Mtley Cre.

It's cool?

Yeah, I just told him a bunch of sh*t

that's gonna make him rich in the future.

I saved the good stuff for us.

Let's go to the bar, plan our empire.

F***ing iPods, you know? F***ing Prius.

Match. com. Anything. com.

F***ing Internet. com!

F***ing Zac Efron.

Nobody invented him yet.

What about Twitter?

Whatever the f*** that is.

Hey, we could combine

Twitter with f***ing Viagra.

Twitt-agra.

What's the matter, dude? Come on.

I'm sorry, man. I'm just preoccupied.

You just kind of down about

being black and out of shape?

What the f*** is wrong with you? No.

Because you look good, you know?

This is a great time for black people.

I mean our time, not this time.

This is a terrible time for black people.

I don't see one other black person in here.

Talk to me, man.

I found out she f***ing cheated.

What? Courtney's

f***ing cheating on you?

I gave her my life, I gave up my passion.

And she's just out there...

Why the f***

didn't you say something, man?

That's just it!

I never see you guys anymore.

I don't have my music,

I barely have friends.

Without Courtney,

I'm nothing.

You're just f***ing

Courtney's b*tch right now.

You need to be your own man, you know?

"Nick Webber-Agnew"?

What the f*** is that?

- It's terrible.

- It doesn't work.

No. Nick Webber, that's who you are.

That's who I was.

Maybe you gotta find him again.

You know, she's getting hers,

you go get yours.

I can't, man.

It means something to me to be married.

You're not f***ing married. It's 1986.

In my heart I am.

Your heart's a f***ing liar.

You know what?

You know what you got to do?

What?

You gotta get your ass up on that stage.

You're right.

- I'm gonna do it.

- Yeah. Do it.

Hey, hey, hey. Do it f***ing quickly, okay?

You better be at that fight with me.

Don't leave me hanging this time.

- I won't. I promise.

- All right.

Hey, Adam. F***.

Guys?

You're good to go.

Holy sh*t. Really?

Some sort of sticky liquid got into

the crossover housing, I don't know.

Must have had some nitratriminium in it.

It's Chernobly.

Whatever it was,

it ravaged the hell out of the electronics.

Worked out for you and the boys, though.

Wait, hold on, are you saying that

that's the key to the whole thing?

We need the Chernobly to get back?

All I'm saying is, whatever your poison,

I wouldn't tub without it.

Especially after dawn.

It'd kill you to give me a straight answer?

You know, you're kind of a dick.

Hey, everybody, you ready to jam?

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen,

help me welcome to the stage

Nick Webber!

Hi.

It's been a long time.

No, I'm never gonna dance again

Guilty feet have got no rhythm

Jessie is a friend

Yeah, I know he's been

a good friend of mine

But lately something's changed

It ain't hard to define

Jessie's got himself a girl

And I want to make her mine

These guys are dangerous.

Look at this stuff.

Blaine, it looks

like a skinny soda can.

No, a soda-can bomb!

This stuff's straight out of Moscow.

Let's go kick that Commie's ass!

Chaz.

Shouldn't we call the cops

or the FBI or something?

No, we're gonna handle this internally.

I wish that I had

Jessie's girl

I wish that I had

Jessie's girl

Yeah

This song is from the future,

but since you've been good,

you get it early.

Just like we rehearsed.

Let's get it started

in here

And the bass keep runnin'runnin'

And runnin'runnin'

And runnin'runnin'

And runnin'runnin'

And runnin'runnin'

And runnin'runnin'

And runnin'runnin'

And runnin'runnin'

In this context

There's no disrespect

So when I bust my rhyme

You break your necks

We got five minutes

For us to disconnect

From all intellect

Collect the rhythm effect

So lose your inhibition

Follow your intuition

Free your inner soul

And break away from tradition

'Cause when we beat out

Girl, it's putting heat out

You wouldn't believe

How we wow sh*t out

Burn it till it's burned out

Turn it till it's turned out

Act up from north, west, east, south

Everybody, everybody

Let's get into it

Get stupid

Get it started

Get it started

Get it started

Let's get it started

Let's get it started in here

Let's get it started

Let's get it started in here

Everybody, everybody

Let's get into it

Get stupid

Get it started

Get it started, get it started

Let's get it started

Hey, where's the Kodiak Club?

Down the street, dude.

Okay. Okay, thank you.

Listen, me and my boys

got some sh*t-kicking to do.

But this

ain't over.

Get out of my way, stool.

Transmit hits with no delusion

The feeling's irresistible

And that's how we moving

Everybody

Everybody

Let's get into it

That's my boy, right there.

- The singer?

- Yeah.

Let's get it started

I'll be back. My friends are over there.

I'll come right back.

Lose control

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