House Party 3 Page #3

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Why don't you come down and help me change his mind?

Well, anyway, for starters, uh, let's get some drinks.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

That's French, you know? Heh.

MAN:
Can I take your drink order?

Um, I'd like a Slow Screw Against the Wall.

Ooh. I'll have a Sex on the Beach.

You know what? I can take care of these orders myself.

Beat it, Benson.

Oh, before you go, uh,

we'll have two tap waters with ice.

Domestic with a twist.

Aw, yeah

Immature's in the house

Ready to tear it up

With the help Of the boys and the band

We gonna kick a little something like

Something like this

Three small brothers You might call pint sized

Kickin' the rhythm Down before your eyes

Don, Jerome And my name is Marcus

Steppin' to the stage You know we gonna spark this

Microphone 'Cause the heat is on

We generated quite a bit of heat with your demo.

Frankly, we're very confident

that we can get you a label deal.

We want you to sign with us.

Yo, cut the bull.

Sign with us, pow, 12-city tour,

that's the way we roll.

Hello.

BOTH [IN UNISON]: Pow.

And there it is.

A twelve-city tour for real?

PLAY:
That's right.

Hold up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

A twelve-city tour just might be all right

if we go to places like Montreal,

New York, D.C., okay?

That's what I'm talking about.

BOTH:
Say what? Say huh?

I like that.

Ah, heh, well, here's the itinerary, heh.

All right. Now.

Bugtussle, Oklahoma?

Stand Back, Alabama?

N*gger keep running, Mississippi?

Not even...

Hold up.

Hold up.

Y'all n*ggers ain't gonna play us like that.

You all know we roll like filet mignon.

And you all trying to play us out like some soybean burgers.

Brah. We have better things to do.

Who's she calling?

WOMAN:
This is Collette, mm-hm. Sex As A Weapon.

Yes, we're ready to do business.

You know what, guys, um,

I think it's fair to let y'all know

we been meeting with Coldblood management and--

Coldblood? He's a crook.

That punk will rob you for all the loot you make.

Straight up and down, on the reals.

WOMAN:
I don't know what y'all talking about.

He said that he would get us a Mustang 5.0.

What did you say?

5.0?

Okay.

Mm-hm.

COLETTE:
Cinco pointo zero.

Okay, uh, for starters we could hook you up

with a budget for your wardrobe.

For your wardrobe, for your first tour.

GIRLS [IN UNISON]: No.

Coldblood said he'd give us our own fashion designer.

That's all you want? We got the best in the west.

We're talking Aunt Lucy's Fashions.

Funky freestylin' That's with 3D

Run home and tell All your friends what we did

Mixing hip-hop With this thing called jazz

Simply put You can kiss my

Ask me no questions I tell you no lies

That's how this thing goes Kicking it with the lingo

Crispy like a Pringle

He already guaranteed us 4.34 percent

of the venue gross receipts based on generally accepted

industry account practices.

So.

Okay.

We anticipated that you could at least give us 4.5 percent.

You know what I'm saying?

To fatten the pockets and put the cash in my hand.

Sound good to me.

PLAY:
That might not be a problem.

Wait, wait. Okay. All right, um, all right.

If Coldblood's gonna go there,

perhaps we can adjust these figures

so that we're looking at...

Sh*t.

Uh, wait, wait, wait a minute. Okay.

Perhaps we can, uh, perhaps we can, um...

Wait, wait, we changed the figures

to reduce some of our overhead.

Uh, flip it. Uh, carry the three.

And then we're looking at...

Hell no.

[SIGHS]

Wait, wait, wait, all right. Hold up a second.

All right. How about this? We give you Play's cut,

so that we're looking at--

You're buggin'. Check this out. It's gonna be a G per show.

We'll take care of all the hotel and the travel arrangements.

That's as fair as it get. I'm putting my foot down.

Well, ladies, lookie here.

BOTH [IN UNISON]: Lookie here, lookie here.

Looks like Coldblood's deal

is a little bit better than this one.

And when you all become big-time and can beat that 5.0.

Give us a call.

You know what? It's too bad too

because I was just about to make me a new friend.

Sorry for you.

Wait a minute. We can work this out.

Heh.

Yo, hey, hey, yo.

See you, bye.

Slow.

Damn, man, we almost had them, man.

Aunt Lucy's Fashions?

We're just here to give A kick in the booty

So feel free To make a contribution

That's right, you heard the kids.

We available for children's parties, Bar Mitzvahs,

sweet sixteen's, weddings, anything.

Just put some money in the hat. It's for the kids.

Come on, man, do something for the kids, huh?

Heal the world. You know what I'm saying?

Just for the kids, you know?

Hey, who put a food stamp in the hat?

MAN [ON PHONE]:
Hey, Yo, what up?

This is Ex-Con Caterer where we do chicken right.

You know, something like the warden used to,

whether you like it or not.

I remember, one time I was in jail,

I didn't eat the food, they locked me in the hole.

Six weeks down there wondering why.

Nobody came to visit. No phone calls.

No nothing. I'm just down there storming

because I didn't eat the damn food.

I ain't got to eat the food the warden give me.

Chill out. We got the pardon. We free.

Chill out.

Hey, who the hell is this?

Oh, how you doing, mama?

What you want? 200 pounds of chilies

for Saturday night.

You got it. No problem.

Hey.

Oh, look, what the f*** we got here.

Three mark-ass nappers.

F*** all that. what's up with my order for Friday, huh?

It depends on what your b*tch ass get.

What the f*** you want, some chilies,

some cheese, spam, tuna, some tomatoes?

What the f*** you want?

Look out. Look out, punk.

Come on in, Big Dukey.

Big Dukey?

Dukey.

Yo, man, it's obvious this ain't no Benihana's.

Know what I'm saying? Man, this is all we want.

Some chicken wings, hot dogs and a case of 40s. Got that?

First of all, you need to calm the f*** down

and go gargle, funky.

Man, my name is Stinky. Stinky, all right?

Stinky, funky, smell bad, it's all the same.

F*** all that, nigga, your name is Funky

because you come up in here smelling like butt crack.

Yo, squash all that. The food better be on.

You hear what I'm saying?

Look at this nigga, Mr. Bowler, Mr. High Roller,

Mr. Flashing F***ing Money.

Since you got it like that, punk, pay a nigga now.

You got my food now?

Or maybe do you have my food now?

That's what I'm saying.

Dumb sh*t.

Let me tell you something.

You don't come in making no goddamn demands.

We will f*** around your punk ass on the grill.

Straight make some barbecued b*tch.

No, bake all three punk asses, make three-b*tch pie now.

Why don't we just give them all the money now?

Yo, forget that, Kid, man.

The original deal was a deposit.

I refused to be intimidated by these three losers.

That's bullshit, man. It's just bullshit.

Especially some midget like you, hairy bastard.

Kick it, cuz.

Look here, motherf***er,

I'll kick you in your nuts and make your jaw swell.

You think you want more, you punk-ass, n*ggers, huh?

Just give them the money.

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