House Party 3 Page #5

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Mm.

Mm!

[MAN RAPPING OVER HIP-HOP MUSIC]

I pick up the microphone Like a slip of Cincy

Rhythm is so we can roll We got it goin' on, G

Word to the mama You concur and agree

So come select With some versatility

[RAPPING INDISTINCTLY]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

PLAY:
What's up, Black?

Party's in the house.

What's up, Black? What's up, my queen?

Yo, Kid, R.A.S. Posse is working it, man.

[RAPPING CONTINUES]

Who needs Sex As A Weapon, man?

Come on, think about it, we got enough dope groups.

WOMAN:
Hey, Kid.

Hello.

I hear you're getting married. Too bad.

Oh, no, no. He's not married yet.

He hasn't jumped the broomstick yet.

She's intense.

Uh-uh, thanks, but no, thanks, Maxine.

I'm already taken.

Okay.

But if you change your mind,

call me.

Yo, man, you done crossed over, man.

Any natural man would've waxed that ass, man.

You and this Veda thing, all she is going to do is

ask you to jump, and you going to go, "How high?"

Look, don't you get it? I love Veda, okay?

I'm getting married to her.

I'm just trying to go into the situation right, thank you.

Yo, Kid, you've changed, man.

I just hope after you get married we can still...

What?

What?

Tsk, oh, man.

Yo, man, where's the fruit basket?

Right there, King.

Oh, yeah. I f***ed her.

[ALL LAUGHING]

MAN:
Oh, man, you know you ain't seen no part of that ass.

Let me check it out. Let me check it out.

[SNIFFS]

No ass!

[ALL LAUGHING]

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Come in.

Yo. You guys were dope, man.

Yo, you all blew up. You, did you see that crowd?

We didn't see sh*t.

Mm-hm.

Oh, uh, sorry.

I guess you heard them, at least.

Yo, we got a big show next week.

What's up? You all ready?

Yo, man, that kid Coldblood jerked us again, man.

Yo, I'm telling we should've got the dough up front.

Now we're short.

Well, somebody better pay us some money up in here

or there's gonna be some ass whooping.

Yeah. I got your back, MC Cataract.

Wait a minute. We ain't got to go there, man.

Just put the gun down. Calm down.

You need to kill that noise. We gonna tighten you up

with a little something, man.

Mm-hm.

Heh.

Oh. Oh, no, no. This is the wrong president.

[GUN C*CKS]

Come on, man.

Here, you guys.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Uh-huh.

Heh. Ben Franklin. Ha, ha.

I'm with it. Yeah, ha-ha-ha.

It's not wise to mess with three brothers with big sticks.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Now, let's go find some of those honeys.

Yeah, man, we're going to get--

This way, baby.

Oh, yeah. Over there. Oy, 119th and Avalon.

Oh, let's go.

That's where they are.

Where the girls?

Hey, take this.

Oh, I got it. I got it.

Oh, yeah.

Yo, come on. Let's go.

No, no, no, I ain't going nowhere

till these brothers are off the streets, man. Word up.

Oh-ho, let's go get those honeys.

CATARACT:
Woo-hoo. Yeah.

MAN:
Ha-ha-ha.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]

Yo, Play, man, I've been thinking.

We've been at this music thing for a while now, man,

and we still ain't got two nickels to rub together.

Veda's parents have been stressing me, man,

stressed me about getting a real--

Oh, don't say that.

Don't say the "J" word. Don't say that "J" word, man.

I'm gonna say it. Job, motherf***er, job.

And maybe they're right. I mean, it's not like

I can just think about myself anymore.

I'm gonna have a wife soon.

She got a job too, don't she?

Nigga.

Come on, man, we got to put this back in perspective, man.

I mean, you know, come on, think about it.

Look out there. What do you see?

A wino sleeping in his own vomit?

Not that, man. I mean, look out there, man,

we in the land of LA, man, Hollywood, man,

where dreams come true.

They just don't come true like that.

There's hard work and perseverance, man.

Am I just going crazy? Didn't we have a dream?

Remember?

Yeah, I remember.

But look, I'm getting older now.

Would you believe I've even thought about cutting my hair?

Oh, this is more serious than I thought.

It gets worse. The other day I went out

shopping to buy some gear. I almost bought a tie.

Wait. You're making me nauseous now.

Yo, man, I know we've been through a lot,

I don't always come through,

but this one I feel real good about, man.

Just give me a little time on this one, man.

You know what? I'll make a deal with you.

Straight up and down.

If I don't come through with Sex As A Weapon,

I'll go get a haircut with you and I'll get matching ties.

Deal?

You serious?

[SIGHS]

Isn't this food wonderful?

It sure is, Aunt Lucy.

It's fit for a King. Come here, King!

[IMITATES DOG BARKING]

Come here, boy. Ha-ha-ha.

Oh, I thought King was dead.

Ugh. My pancakes is black.

Ugh, so is my eggs.

Yeah.

It's Cajun style.

If this is Cajun, I'm Caucasian.

The boys are right. This food is awful.

Cajun is an acquired taste.

That's why didn't nobody order it.

KID 1:
What about breakfast?

Yeah, I'm hungry.

KID 2:
Oh, yeah.

Look.

There. Breakfast. It's the best I can do.

Look, if I don't get out here and get to my meeting,

I'm not gonna get paid.

I got to get out of here too. I got me a date.

You do? And who's the lucky lady?

The chef at Rollo's Chicken 'n' Grits House.

I'm hungrier than a horse. I'm getting out of here.

So, Kid, you're going to let us bust

our little rap at your bachelor party?

Yeah, Kid. You know that's why we're here.

See, we look at it, is the party gonna be

filled with big-booty girls, honeys, tenders, you know?

KID:
Hello? Hello? Look.

Fellas, there are not gonna be any honeys at the party.

Just the fellas. Just the fellas.

So get it out of your head.

Just calm down, relax

and get ready for the wedding. Okay?

See, I told you Kid 'n Play are played out, man.

Just like this food. We out of here, man.

No, no, wait a minute. Sit down. Wait.

Boys, boys, come back here and eat this food.

Don't you want to grow tall?

Get them, Aunt Lucy.

Hit them in the throat with the stick.

Bust their head! I hate them. You know, Aunt Lucy, man.

She still thinks Sammy Davis is sleeping in the guest room.

You know, she's a couple of salads away from a picnic.

Look, I'm proud of you, boy.

I'm proud of what you did with the youngsters.

You sat there and you told them kids, man,

that there won't be any women at that bachelor party.

I'm proud of you.

But I know there's gonna be a few women

at that bachelor party.

Look, Veda is the only woman for me.

I'm trying to go into this marriage right.

No women.

Boy, nobody is talking about no women for you.

I'm talking about some women for me. What's wrong with you?

Ah, look, I'm sorry. Look, uncle--

I'm sorry for you. Go on.

Uncle Vester, I gotta go.

Boy, you had to go on and get a white woman,

now you're gonna wreck this man.

The boy ain't worth two day of flash mess.

You know, Uncle Kid is dissing us, man.

Who you're telling? He won't even listen to our demo.

Yeah, he won't even let us go the bachelor party.

Eh, yo, yo, Jerome. Peep this out, dude.

JEROME:
Hey, we definitely got to get with them.

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