House Party 3 Page #8

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And a baby, you know she pregnant?

Pregnant? Lord have mercy. See I knew it.

I knew I've been dreaming about fish.

Fish? Fish, I sure hope it's catfish.

No, mother. I am not pregnant, heh.

Young man, I was asking you a question.

Okay. Uh, well, Dad, my partner and I,

we're involved in some very promising ventures.

We have an up and coming group name, R.A.S. Posse,

that we signed to Arrest Records.

Now when they release them--

Release, R.A.S. Posse, What are they, in jail?

Ugh, when they release their album, mother.

And how do you expect to survive until this R.A.S. Puss--

Posse makes it big?

In my day, we used to have a saying:

No romance, heh,

without finance.

Now hold on there, freckles.

You got to have a little bit more faith

in these young kids today.

Times are different when you and I were out here

doing our thing. Now hand me about four or five biscuits.

Oh, I'm hungry.

Oh, Vester.

What is your line of business?

Unemployment line.

I'm a painter.

I'm an artiste.

Oh, really.

From what school? Jacob Lord's? Beardon?

Uh, kitchen walls and sinks, sh*t like that.

Oh, my God, crayons and finger paints.

Wait a minute, mom. You're being unfair.

You and Daddy didn't have everything

when you first started out.

Yeah.

Yeah. But we worked hard

to get where we are today.

I bet you had whore just to make ends meet.

I beg your pardon!

Ooh, ooh, ooh, I knew, I knew you.

Dammit to hell, I knew your face was familiar to me.

Man, back in the days, your wife just sucked the meanest.

Well, I know you know. You're the lucky man.

You scum-sucking son of a b*tch!

That's my ho-- My wife you're talking about.

Kid, you're just gonna let them talk to my parents like this?

I forgot you got other things on your minds

like getting with Sydney one more time.

Who said I was getting with Sydney?

I heard your friend Stinky talking this morning.

Oh, I don't believe you.

I don't believe Play is at that window.

Go see what he wants.

AUNT LUCY:
You don't talk to my nephew like this.

You don't talk to my daughter like this.

AUNT LUCY:
What do you mean?

Come on, man, what're you doing here?

Yo, man, Showboat is bugging.

He tried to run me down with the Benzo.

He wants the Sex As A Weapon contract yesterday.

God, didn't I tell you to get Boat his money? Didn't I?

You always getting me into trouble.

Now it's on me. You wanted a bachelor party.

I'm hooking you up. What am I supposed to do?

Pay with my good looks? What's wrong with you?

I didn't want the bachelor party.

You wanted the bachelor party.

Listen, you. Listen, you, get back.

AUNT LUCY:
Get back?

Step back, Satan.

I'll whammy-bammy your ass.

[WOMEN YELLING]

Now I remember. I even remember your name.

They used to call you Jawbone.

What?

Just meet me at the crib. I get enough to deal with here.

Listen, man. I got problems...

Look here, I'm gonna let the door hit you

where the good lord split you!

Then she gonna start barking like a dog.

[IMITATES DOG BARKING]

Baby, put it on that old hat.

Look, everybody, could we just please calm down, okay?

This has gotten out of hand, okay?

Let's calm down, all right?

MAN:
I'll f*** you up!

Sit down, witch hazel.

Who you talking to?

VESTER:
To you!

Look, don't you talk about--

You mama witch, you black dusty rusty ass.

Whoa! My mama dead! Now I gotta cut you!

That's the rule! Cut you! Cut you! Cut you!

[ALL YELLING]

Come on! Come on! I'm ready for you.

I want all of you out of my house now!

Cut me! Cut me! Cut me!

Cutting the whole--

I expected some sh*t like this from you riffraff.

[GUNSHOT]

[ALL SCREAMING]

Damn, I bet I get some respect from you motherfuckers. Now!

And I'd love to pop a cap in your little black ass.

And that crazy old b*tch.

And I'd bust a cap in your ass if it weren't for my daughter.

Now I want all of you out of my goddamn house!

Out, out, damn spot!

All of you motherfuckers.

We better go.

Had a nice time. That ain't look so good.

Punk motherf***er.

You better get the f*** on out of my house! Nigga!

Out, out, damn it! All of you, out!

Was that a crazy dinner or what?

Heh, that was crazy.

Do you think they're ever gonna get along?

Well, I guess if the Crips and Bloods

can have a truce,

I guess they can too.

Anyway, good night, Mrs. Kid.

Good night, Mr. Veda.

Mr. Ve... What'd I tell you about watching all that Oprah?

Huh? Ooh.

Heh, I love you.

[GIBBERING] I Love you.

[CHUCKLES]

[CAR ENGINE REVS]

[]

[DOG GROWLS]

[DOG BARKS]

[KID GROANS THEN SCREAMS]

Hey, fellas. Fellas, welcome back.

You know, I just had a talk with Sex As A Weapon,

and they claim they never signed any management contract

with Kid and Play management. so I'm wondering...

Why do I need you all?

I can explain, Showboat.

But I don't want to hear it.

But--

I don't want to hear it!

Now you two clowns better get my contract signed by tomorrow.

And, uh, one little thing before you leave.

I'd like you to check out one of these TJ hors d'oeuvres.

KID:
What?

Oh, that's a toe-jam cracker.

Yeah, I like to call it the chronic, heh.

PLAY:
Come on, Boat. Come on, man.

We've known each other too long for this, man.

No. No. No!

[]

You guys are cleaning up?

Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

MARQUES:
Well, Kid, we just wanted to show our appreciation.

You've been so good to us.

Hey, look, uh, look, here's some money for a pizza.

BOY:
All right.

You still have the video movies?

BOY 2:
Yeah.

I got some running around to do,

then I'm gonna go to the hotel for the bachelor party,

so I'll see you guys in the morning.

Oh, uh, there's a slight chance

my body might be dumped in the river.

So if I don't see you in the morning, it's been real.

What do you mean, Kid?

Uh... Look, don't worry about it. It's my problem.

Just have a good time and take care of Aunt Lucy, okay?

KIDS:
All right.

See you later.

Hey, you all, I think Uncle Kid is in big trouble.

Yeah, that punk Showboat.

[]

Ah, sh*t.

MAN:
Yo, yo, what's up, punk? Where the rest of my money?

Man, we ain't got your money, man.

Showboat got your cash, man.

Showboat.

We used to have him in an apron with his ass hanging out,

running around the cell cleaning up like a b*tch.

Really?

Really, nigga.

I know he ain't trying to come between me and my money.

Where is it at?

I don't know, man.

Put me down, man.

Yo, punk, since you don't know,

we taking these Adidas as partial payment

till you find out, you understand?

STINKY:
No, man, come on. Oh, no, that's my cuz.

Hey, hey!

Is there a problem in here, fellas?

Uh, no, ma'am, we just helping my man with his shoes.

Well, keep it down in here.

Hey, simple, you dropped something, man.

[BLOWS AIR]

MAN:
Hey, you little twig-head Boyz in the Hood,

where's Kid?

Plan B.

Plan B.

Where they going?

Uh, they got to take a pee.

Uh, so you came to listen to our demo?

Hurry up, man. We got to beat the all-time record.

So where is he?

Uh, Kid...

Dreads, cap-- Oh, yeah, Kid.

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