Hunting Elephants Page #6

on the windshield?

Concentrate on the lights

in front of you.

We're all going to die.

We're all going to die.

Stop...

This is the building.

What the f*** you are doing?

I don't want to be recognized.

Who will recognize you?

Hey, a woman stopped me

in the street once,

she'd seen me in a play.

She started hitting me.

She wanted her money back.

"Dedi's House of Fun"

Hello.

Excuse me, I have a somewhat

personal question for you. - Yes?

How long have you lived here?

Five years, why?

You were right,

this is the place.

I'm sorry,

this boy here,

his father died

a few weeks ago.

I'm his grandfather.

These are his uncles

from England.

How do you do.

- Yes. - Yes?

If you don't mind us

looking around,

they lived here

when he was a baby.

Sure, come in.

Water?

Coffee?

- Oh, okay.

Thank you.

What are you doing, you idiot?

Thank you, ma'am,

you've been a great help.

Thank you.

Quiet, be quiet!

For God's sake!

I found it.

Good work, kid,

now switch it

with your dad's card,

the one they cancelled.

Why?

So he thinks his card

isn't working.

Hurry up.

Look at this,

he has cherry-flavored condoms.

Put a hole in each of them.

Let's go.

Oh, Viagra.

I take two, you take two?

I don't need them.

- Me neither.

Come on, let's go.

Oh, crap.

He's back.

We're all going to prison.

Please tell me I won't be the b*tch.

- Shut up.

They can't see us.

You know, Duke,

you are just like Hamlet.

They murdered your father

and now they're after your mother.

You must be torn apart inside.

I'm okay, Uncle Michael.

He's taking advantage of her,

she's...

She's confused.

She forgot your father.

Before your corpse is cold

people forget you.

Better to die first

and spare yourself the shame.

That's not true, Grandpa.

- What do you know?

I enter...

I smile.

I approach the guard

and I say...

Hey, hey, hold it.

You don't speak to the guard.

We've changed the plan.

You go straight to Simona.

What are you talking about?

You can't take away my line.

What line?

I have based my entire

characterization on the guard line.

You take that away,

there's no Alfred.

I have nothing to work with.

You were only supposed to tell

the guard, "Hi, I'm here for Simona."

Precisely! That's Alfred

in a nutshell!

Do you love her?

What? Why?

You have the look, you know,

the look of love in your eyes.

No. No, no, no,

Sigi is a charming girl, but...

The thing is,

she has asked me to her house.

Now, I am not going

but she said something about divorce,

and she wanted me

to see her place.

How come my dreams

are happening to him?

I won't go, of course.

- You're going there,

and you're going to remember

every detail!

And please, if you can,

bring me her underwear, you know,

the one with the rope

getting into her ass.

And maybe

you're gonna need this.

She's too young!

- So what?

Yves Montand was 75

when he married a woman

in the age of 22.

The French are always

marrying their daughters.

Give me a gun,

I'm going to kill the Brit.

Michael, listen to me.

Nick is right. Go to Sigi.

And remember, in Israel

if a woman asks if you want coffee,

she wants to go to bed.

And use only half.

If you use one, it can blow your head.

Look what happened to me.

Hello, madame,

you look good.

- Thank you.

I'm alone here, so just a minute.

Coffee?

No.

Yes, yes, coffee, yes...

Coffee!

Finally.

You tell your stupid father 5:00...

Your English teacher.

- I don't want to.

Shut up or I'll kick you,

I'm concerned for your future,

you have a teacher

from London here,

at last an American.

- I don't feel like it.

This is the boy.

Michael will learn you English.

Hello.

English lesson for the 7th grade.

Cry Wolf.

You know this story?

It's all about a little boy

who cried wolf so often,

eventually nobody

believed him and then...

Eureka!

Hey, hey!

I've worked out

how to stop the silent alarm.

How was it?

Great. Great!

Here's your G-string.

Okay.

I know how to stop the alarm.

We cry wolf.

You go to the bank...

Hello, good morning.

I am Michael Simpson.

Lord Michael Simpson.

Lord.

I am the director

of the Voluntary Association

for Old Brave Jewish Terrorists

who founded

this wonderful overheated country

and I need a short-term loan

in cash.

Please sit down, Lord Simpson.

- Thank you.

How much do you need?

- Two million Euros, por favor.

It's a stick-up!

A stick-up!

That man is a bank robber!

What on earth is going on?

- He's a bank robber!

He has a rifle! It's a stick-up!

Search him!

It's a stick-up!

Down on the floor!

- Manager!

Get down, get down!

It's a stick-up!

Can't you see it's a stick-up?!

Everyone calm down!

Calm down,

you're all safe! Calm down!

Nobody move.

I told them. That's Nick.

What did you see, Nick?

He had a rifle.

He said you had a gun.

He saw you with a gun.

I saw, he had a rifle.

It's just an umbrella.

That's okay.

Where do you live, Gramps?

In an old-age home.

Come, Nick.

Come along.

- Mr. Dedi.

Get up. Come along.

It's all right.

- It's all right.

Everyone go back to work,

it's all right.

And then, a week later,

Nick goes back to the bank

and shouts again.

It's a stick-up!

He has a knife!

It's a stick-up!

He has a knife!

Everybody down. I saw it!

It's a stick-up!

Manager, it's a stick-up!

First thing,

you get rid of those bars.

What is this,

the gorilla cage at the zoo?

Do you even have insurance

for that thing?

My late security manager

thought it was necessary.

Dedi, please. We're a joke.

And next time

that poor old man

yells "stick-up,"

if anyone sets off

the silent alarm,

disable it.

You hear, Vlada?

That's my decision,

disable the silent alarm.

They installed a silent alarm

that cost the government

10 million dollars

and the police had it disabled

just because some old man yelled

"stick-up" at the bank.

What a screw-up!

And that's not all,

all three old men were diagnosed

with advanced dementia

five days apart from each other.

You don't think

they were senile?

You can't put someone

with dementia on trial.

So how's school, pal?

I listen to the teachers carefully

so I know exactly

what not to do.

Do you know the most important rule

I've learned as a bank manager?

Don't be greedy.

You can even learn from morons.

I can see why you say that.

Dedi, can I have a moment

alone with Jonathan? - Sure.

I'll call you later.

- Dorit.

He asked us

to move in with him.

Mom, I'll take care of us,

I'll get you the money.

You can't spend all your time

at the old-age home.

He's my grandfather

and he's my friend.

He isn't anyone's friend,

he only cares about himself.

When your dad was young,

he took him to a movie

and left him there

to go see another woman.

I don't believe it.

He's loyal to Grandma,

you should see how he treats her.

That isn't love,

that's guilt.

You didn't let him come

to my bris.

When I was pregnant with you

Eliyahu and Rhoda met with me.

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