Hurlyburly Page #7

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He threw me out of my own car.

Where is he?

Where's Phil?

What'd you do?

What do you mean, what did I do?

Guy, he's just a...

He's totally without

redeeming social value.

F***in' guy just should

be in a ward somewhere.

So he took your car, so what?

He'll bring it back.

Oh, Eddie,

he didn't just take my car.

He threw me out of it.

So what?

What do you mean, "so what,"

Eddie? It was moving.

He slowed it down, I bet.

He threw me out

of my own slowly moving car...

and he nearly f***ing killed me.

Maybe what I want

to know about is you.

Why would you put

a friend of yours like me...

in this kind of jeopardy?

Why would you let me go with

this guy if I was begging...

let alone instigate it?

You want to take that position,

go ahead.

I am normally the kind of person

who allots a degree of energy...

to being on the lookout

for creeps, Eddie.

I am not so dumb

as to be ignorant...

of the vast hordes of creeps

running loose in California...

but because this guy

is on your recommendation...

I am caught unawares

and nearly maimed.

He's been having a rough time.

Well, it's a rough century

all around, Eddie.

You say so yourself.

What does anybody know

who's doing OK, huh?

Is that some sort

of justification...

for us all to start tossing

each other out of cars?

Things aren't working out

personally the way we planned?

Are you paying

any f***ing attention here?

I'm talking about a form

of desperation.

You are maybe

not familiar with it.

Oh, so in your mind...

desperation is you and your

buddy's own private thingamajig?

This man has had

his entire thing collapse.

I am the form of human being

whose entire life...

with a child to support...

depends on her tits

and this balloon...

and the capabilities

of her physical grace...

and imaginary inventiveness...

with which I can appear to

express something of interest...

in the air...

which some other dumb b*tch

would be unable to imagine...

or would fall down

trying to perform.

So desperation

is within my area of expertise.

Just in case you thought I was

some mindless twat over here...

with blond hair and big eyes.

I hadn't noticed

your hair or your eyes.

F*** you, Eddie.

He could have hurt me.

- I don't care.

- Don't say that.

You're just some b*tch

thinks it matters...

you walk around with balloons

and your tits out.

Do you f*** everybody you meet?

I f*** who I want.

You f*** everybody.

That's no reason to assume...

I can be thrown out of a car

as random recreation.

I hope that's not what

you're saying, Eddie.

Nobody's got to take

these substantial losses...

with a totally peripheral...

You know, transient elements

in their life.

We're all just background

in each other's life.

You know,

just cardboard cutouts...

bumping around

this vague spin-off...

from what was once

prime-time life.

You perfectly backed out.

I ought to call the cops,

you incredible prick.

You want me to dial it for you?

I'll dial it for you right now.

We're talking about

murder almost.

Shut up!

Can you just shut up?

I'm totally disgusted

with both of you!

I'm sorry, Eddie.

I did my best

to set you up nicely, Phil...

and you got to f*** it up.

I'm some kind of very, very

unusual jerk is what I figure.

You had no rhyme or reason

for what you did to me.

I do my best for you...

and now I got...

Bonnie pissed at me...

Artie's pissed.

- Artie's pissed, too?

- You know that.

In your heart,

I'm talking about...

That's what I'm talking about.

Eddie, it's my imaginary side.

It's like we were saying, right?

I get lost in it.

I got to channel it

into my work more.

What work? F*** your work.

You don't have any work.

You are background.

They have all these

interesting stories...

and they want a guy

like you on the set.

You're a prop.

You're a... you're a tree.

You're like a location.

They need guys like you...

to make all the bullshit...

look legitimate.

What about my...

Eddie, my talent, remember?

You said I ought to...

That was hype.

What do you think?

You were what, putting me on?

You ever really believe it?

So...

who are we kidding?

Me.

But this is the real goods now,

right?

Right, Eddie? We're gettin' down

to the real goods now.

So you must have decided...

it would be best for me

to hear the truth, huh?

I'm just sick of you, Phil.

You're sick of me, yeah.

Oh. Well, how long you been

sick of me, Eddie?

It's probably recent.

When did it start?

I'm gonna let you

off the hook, Phil.

I'm not gonna say anything.

I'm gonna cut you a break.

I don't need a break.

It's for my own good, right?

I want it all.

I got a tendency to kid myself

that everything's OK.

So now, you tell me

what are the things about me...

that are for you, you know...

disgusting.

I want to know.

Everything you...

Everything about you.

Everything?

Eddie, you really

had me fooled, Eddie.

You guys are crazy.

What do you mean?

What does she mean?

What do you mean?

The department of defense

says that it's confirmed...

that a fringe terrorist group

with ties to Libya and Iraq...

is now stockpiling

large quantities...

of high-tech chemical

and biological weapons.

I feel awful.

What's the matter?

I'm depressed.

About what, Eddie?

I don't know. Everything.

...which leads to fatal

hemorrhaging of the brain...

and chest.

Botulism is a severe

kind of food poisoning.

You depressed about the news,

Eddie?

Yeah, the news is depressing.

I mean, the Aborigines...

had their problems, too.

Sure. You know?

The tigers in the trees.

Dogs after his food.

And in the Middle Ages...

everybody really had to worry...

about witches and goblins...

but we have this stuff

eating at us.

We've got stuff

we don't even...

I mean, why do you think...

that all the warlords

of the world...

are so anxious

to get their own...

personal little stash...

of chemical weapons?

Still ahead here...

we're gonna

change gears a bit...

show you a little of what...

They call them weapons

of mass destruction...

but they're not.

They're very, very selective.

Chemical weapons

are very careful...

about what they destroy.

They annihilate people...

and preserve things.

They love things.

You and I would be dead...

gas, puke, gone.

Whereas, you know,

other, earlier, older people...

the ancients...

could look to the heavens...

which in their minds...

was inhabited by this...

thoughtful, meditative,

you know...

maybe a trifle unpredictable

and wrathful...

but nevertheless...

up there...

this divine onlooker.

We've got...

anchorpersons...

and...

talking heads.

We've got...

politicians...

who decide

life-and-death issues...

on the basis

of their media consultants.

That's what we've got.

Oh, boy, Eddie.

I think I'm gonna need

a magnifying glass...

to find what's left

of your good points.

What is going on with you?

Suck my dick.

Aw, come on,

I'm being serious here.

I thought you had

this girlfriend...

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