I Love You, Daddy Page #9

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Hmm?

Hmm?

I have to tell her

never to see Leslie again.

Never, never, never.

Ooh! Yes!

Yes! That is a thing!

That is not nothing.

Ooh! Yes, I'm so excited!

She's gonna f***ing

hate you so much.

Shut up. I can't do it.

- I can't.

- No, you have to.

- I can't do it.

- You have to.

She's gonna-I'm gonna

send her running back to Leslie.

She's gonna move in

with him or somethin'.

Glen.

You think Leslie Goodwin

wants to live with your daughter?

You think he wants

to take care of her?

Jesus Christ. You f***ing men

overestimate the sh*t

out of each other.

It's disgusting.

Do it, Glen. Make her stop.

If you don't,

I'll stop coming around.

Is that supposed to be a threat?

Yes, it is.

If you don't get her off

that child molester's dick,

I'm done.

Because the whole thing

makes me hate the both of you.

And don't act like you don't like

that I still come around.

Because if I didn't,

you would be so bummed out

if I didn't ever come around

to see China

and yell at you all the time

and f*** you now and again.

Okay, I'm out of here.

Bye, stupid.

Hi.

- Hi, Grace.

- Hi, Glen.

- How are you?

- I'm fine.

I wanted to see China.

Hey, did you...

Did you ever read the script

that I gave you?

I know that you and I are all weird,

but I never heard from you, and...

I read it.

I read the script.

Okay.

Um...

Clearly, you didn't like it.

What did you think

of your script, Glen?

- What did I think?

- Yes.

Be honest with me.

I mean, I thought that I

captured your voice pretty well,

and I think it holds up.

Is that what you were going for?

Something that holds up?

I-I'm confused, I...

I know your writing.

I worshipped your voice.

This is... common.

Jesus. Tell me how

you really feel.

- I am, Glen.

- Yeah, I noticed.

Look, I have to go.

Hey, is that it?

You just-you sh*t on my work,

and then you just take off?

I mean, what does that

say about you, Grace?

What, did you f*** me so you can

get a part on my show?

And then when you see

that it's not my best work,

you... then I can...

I'm a piece of sh*t.

No, no, I didn't f*** you

so I could get on your show.

I agreed to do your show,

so I could f*** you.

And you should've told me

you gave up.

I can't believe

I was intimate with you.

I feel like I got bait-and-switched

in the worst possible way.

Holy moly.

Well, I have to go.

Can I ask you a question?

Did you invite me to your party

so that Leslie can meet China?

No, Glen. I didn't.

Oh, by the way,

I had lunch with Jordana Newsom.

She's amazing.

Not a fan of yours.

Glen.

Yeah.

Um, I'm just wondering when

I can start to make the schedule

for uh, the show that goes

on the air in a month

that we have shot none of yet?

I'm sorry.

- You're sorry?

- I'm...

Yes.

I'm sorry, women.

Wom-women?

Yes, please, on behalf of all women,

please let you all know

that I am very f***ing sorry.

Okay, uh, we accept your apology.

And I'm just wondering if I...

Okay. Terrific.

Leslie?

Hello, hello. In here.

Hi.

How was your birthday party?

Well...

I'm officially 18.

No longer a minor.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

How you doing?

Well. Working.

All right, come on.

Where?

To the balcony.

I wanna get high with you.

Mmm, I don't think so, China.

Yes!

No, I suffer from enough

- No!

- natural confusion.

I don't need the synthetic variant.

- Come with me to the balcony!

- Ah, don't.

Don't pull on my arm.

I'm 68, it might come off.

Ah, fine.

Then, we will get high

right here.

My goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

- My goodness.

- My goodness.

I'm not gonna smoke that, China.

I'm not that guy. Sorry.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Okay, what's the idea here?

To make you smoke.

I'm 18.

I'm 18 and you're 68.

And my friends...

My friends think I'm crazy.

They go, "China!" and I'm like,

"Yeah, I know, he's 68. It's...

"How long it takes

to make a good man."

Yeah, I talk about you.

Shut up.

I tell them good things.

I tell them-I tell them

how good you are to me, and...

And how funny you are,

and weird, and brilliant, and...

And that I like you.

I think-I think you're

kinda sexy sometimes.

Yeah, I know-shut up.

Uh, during spring break,

we play this game

called "Mother, may I", um...

It's-um...

All the guys, they-

they line up naked,

and all the girls

line up naked, and...

It-it really looks stupid because

the guys have their-their dongs out.

It's really...

It's dumb, but um...

Um...

Listen, the whole

point of the game is that

they have to ask permission

to like, touch a girl

so, they just say like, uh,

"Mother, may I do" whatever

to this girl. And mother

has to uh, come up with a

with a punishment.

Um...

And I...

Usually, well...

Always.

Play mother.

It's...

a dumb game.

I don't want you

seeing Leslie anymore.

- So?

- So...

You're not gonna see him anymore.

You can't tell me what to do.

Yes, I can, China.

Yes, I can.

Because I-I-I-I pay your bills, kid.

I shelter you.

You know what, Dad,

I-I'm not a kid.

You're not? Then what are you?

Are you a grown-up?

Do you-do you know what

a grown-up has?

Plans and goals and-

and skills and experience.

W-w-wha-how many times

did you go to Florida

when you should've been

nailing your college applications?

You let me go.

I let you go.

I thought you were a grown-up.

I'm in high school, Dad.

Okay, so which one is it, China?

Do you want me to-to...

Respect you as an adult?

Or let you off the hook when-

when you f*** up

because you're just a kid?

- Wh-which one?

- Oh, my God.

You know, most kids your age,

they have-they're in a school already.

- Dad.

- Or-or they're...

- Doing something, started on something.

- Dad. I know.

I'm 18.

And I'm not doing anything.

I'm not doing jack sh*t.

Congratulations.

Good f***ing job.

I mean, f***.

You know...

I mean, you could-

you could do something.

You could be-

you could do whatever you want.

- You could be creative.

- I could be...

- You could try to be a writer.

- I'm not creative.

I'm not a writer.

I'm not anything.

Don't say that.

You have a-you have a lot of...

You're too late.

You're so-you're so f***ing late

that it's over, Dad.

I'm 18, okay?

I'm not doing sh*t.

And this is way too

f***ing late of a conversation.

I tried-

I tried to give you...

What did you try to give me?

You didn't give me anything.

You didn't give me anything.

All this is-is yours.

All this sh*t around you?

This is yours.

I'm-well, I'm sorry.

- Sorry?

- I'm-I'm sorry.

I'm f***ing happy for you.

I'm happy that you're sorry.

But what am I gonna do?

You know, what am I gonna do?

What-what am I gonna do?!

I can't.

I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry.

I swear to God, I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

Oh, I can't.

I gotta go.

China.

What-what about Leslie?

You f***ing...

That's none of your

f***ing business, Glen.

You okay?

She's okay.

What did she tell you?

She says that you kicked her out.

Rate this script:3.7 / 3 votes