I Love You Beth Cooper Page #5

in the car! Get in the car.

Denis! Come on.

Watch it!

Do you know how many laws

you just broke?

Grand theft auto.

criminal destruction of property.. .

...assault with a deadly weapon.

aggravated battery...

...leaving the scene of an accident.

speeding. and now failure to stop!

-That's seven. at least!

-That's a new record!

l don't think that's a record.

-

l think you should pull over.

-Pull over. Beth.

-Ha.

Hey. how about this?

How about:

''Thank you. Thank you. Beth.

for saving my life again?''

Saving my life? Saving my--?

You're the one who almost ran

over me with a military vehicle...

...owned by some homicidal

rage ape you call a boyfriend...

...who's been trying

to kill me all night!

You're spitting your blood

at me! Pbbt.

You're supposed to keep

your bodily fluids to yourself.

You know what?

This is not fun anymore.

Who said it's supposed

to be fun?

Everybody out.

Uh-uh. No. no. no.

What are we doing here?

l have a key to the school.

You have a key to the school.

Head cheerleader is a position

of trust and responsibility.

-Heh. heh. Fools.

-Ha. ha. ha.

Come on. Denis. This is the least

illegal thing we've done all night.

Sit. You'll enjoy it.

-Ready. girls?

-Yes.

fye, sx, seyen, eght!

Are you ready?

Ready for the best

B-G. number one

Oh. yeah. nothng less

fye, sx, seyen, eght!

We're gong to the top

We can't be stopped

Come on. grls

yell yellow!

Yellow.

Yell bluet

Blue!

Mghty Bsons

Oh. yeah. Iet's fght

Ready and slow t down.

Can you feel t? What?

Can you feel the heat?

Yellow and blue

Oh, yeah, how sweet

Ready and last tme

Wth sprt and spark

We steal the show

Mghty Bsons, hss, hss

Gotta got

Yeah!

Let's hit the showers.

-Showers! Showers!

-Yay!

Let's go! Come on. hurry!

Showers!

-They're hitting the showers.

-Yeah.

Come on!

l-- l-- l'd love to. l just. um....

-l don't think we were invited.

-Uh. l'm pretty sure we were.

You know. Rich...

...you don't have to prove anything.

Some woman.

Oh. yeah.

l said yes. immediately.

l was like....

-Sorry.

Denis.

Don't be shy.

God.

Oh.

Hey. space boy.

Come get wet.

That invitation

good enough for you?

l just don't think we should be....

Stop! Stop thinking

with your brain. dude.

-l don't wanna ruin anything.

-There's nothing left to ruin!

You know. except maybe this.

And this. my friend.

is a rare occasion.

Chances like this don't

come along every day.

ln fact.

they never come along.

This does not happen!

Are you guys coming?

''Carpe dem. Seize the day. boys.

Make your lives extraordinary.''

Robin Williams. and your dad.

l'm just trying to make it

through the night alive. okay?

You're not alive unless you're living.

Who said that?

l think l did.

''Here's Johnny!''

Carpe dem.

Beth.

Gotta tell you. you're in for a treat.

Been reading a few

of my mom's ladies magazines...

...and they've got a couple secrets

on how to ultimately pleasure you.

-How did you find us?!

-LoJack. dipshit.

Man of war!

Taste my wet blade.

Come on! Get your stuff!

Go!

- Are you sure?

-l can handle these three.

l've been preparing for this

all my life.

Help! Help!

Come on. Iet's get out of here.

Never again.

Yes!

Come on. hurry up!

l'm trying. stop moving!

What happened to your pants?

Your boyfriend has them.

Okay. we gotta go. come on.

Get your stuff!

Come on, come on, come on!

Aw. how sweet.

Kevin brought back my car.

Come on!

-

Hey. what about Rich?

Yah! Is that all you've got?

Oh. Oh. one more?

Ha. ha. ha. Classic.

-Guys!

- Rich!

Rich. l got your clothes.

Hurry up.

Yah!

Come on. come on. come on!

Okay. go. go.

Goddamn truck drivers.

Where are we going?

We can go to

my dad's cabin.

l can go there anytime l want as

Iong as l don't tell Mom where it is.

You know what. l just. um--

l wanna go home.

You know. you're the one

who started this.

Me?

Yeah. you.

You're the geek who. in front of the

entire school. our friends and family...

...declared your love for someone

you don't know a thing about.

He knows a lot about you.

Quiz him.

He knows your locker combo.

He knows

your favorite antiperspirant.

He knows your blood type.

Okay. l hate to remind you this.

Beth. but you said it was sweet.

You did. Oh. my God.

and you came to my house.

lf you didn't think it was sweet.

why would you come to my house?

What do you think.

super genius?

We thought

it would be funny.

Oh. Okay.

-Are you just gonna keep bleeding?

-Yeah. for about three days.

Just put your head back.

-Now it's dripping down my throat.

-Here.

Stick these up there.

They're super absorbent.

Listen.

about what Cammy said before.

She thought it would be funny.

l mean. we all thought

it would be a fun thing to do.

Guess l did think

it would be a little funny.

l'm sorry.

Guys tell me they love me

all the time.

And it's usually because

they want something.

Well. it was kind of funny.

right?

Ha. ha. ha.

-Please. take those out now.

-Your wish.

Can l say something personal?

Sure.

You smell like

a dead homeless guy.

Yeah. it's probably my shirt.

There's hummus.

Take it off.

Oh. no. l can leave it on.

it's fine.

l'm not gonna molest you.

Take it off.

Take it off. take it off.

Let me just air it out a little.

Oh. sh*t!

Sorry.

Okay. it was somewhere

around here. You can stop.

Oh. my God. What?

Really? Dude.

l think those are

his lucky underpants.

Give me my poncho.

-Give me my poncho.

Oh. my God.

-What are you doing?

-You're so mean.

What?

-

Actually. l got these as a gag gift...

.. .so it's appropriate

that you're laughing.

No. it's good. l'm happy that you're--

You guys got the joke! Good one.

-Get in here.

-No. purple's not really my color.

lt's fuchsia and it's

my favorite color. Sorry.

-That's fine.

-Okay.

-There we go.

-All better.

-How do l look? Good?

-Great.

-Ha. ha. ha.

-That pink poncho's sort of cute.

What?

Goddamn Kevin.

Because of you l am in the middle

of nowhere looking for a shirt.

Oh. yeah. no.

goddamn that Kevin.

Why do you even go out

with him. anyway?

ln the beginning. he was sweet.

He made me laugh.

-And when he smiled....

-He was really hot.

l don't know.

Guess it was the way other girls

Iooked at me when l was with him.

l felt proud.

Thought l was the lucky girl

this big. strong Army guy chose.

lt didn't bother you

that he was an a--?

An a**hole?

Yeah.

l just made excuses

for him because...

...it was nice to feel wanted.

See. l don't get that...

...because there are so many guys

who would love to be with you.

Yeah. For a night. maybe.

-So why did you do it?

-The speech?

l don't know.

lt's just....

You're the head cheerleader...

...and l'm the captain

of the debate team.

And l know it's ridiculous to think

that you and me would even....

l guess l just wanted

to talk to you.

And l never did.

and then l realized...

...that was my last chance.

you know?

Well. l'm glad you did.

Look! Your shirt.

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