Ibiza Page #7

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Well, I'd love to take a little nap,

so I'm just not sure where to go.

- Let me take you to my spare room.

- Oh!

Oh.

- This way.

- Okay.

- Would you likethe king or the queen bed?

- Well, this is a bathroom.

Love you.

Yes, yes, yes.

Taking off my shoes and my socks

Gonna f*** a British guy

Okay, let's tuck you in.

You must be tired.

Sleepy Nikki needs to go

to sleepy time, right?

- If you want any water--

- I know how a faucet works.

So I'm in luck, I'll see you later.

- Hey, Miles.

- I'm gonna go get Leah

to have a nice relaxing seat on my face.

Wish me luck.

- Miles!

- I'm coming, sweet pea.

Wow, he's a lot.

- Oh, sh*t, that was hot.

- You're pretty hot.

- You're pretty hot,

- No, you're pretty hot.

No, you're pretty hot.

Okay, that's what I call a dick pic.

Check, please.

So, Harper's with a DJ.

Leah's in that room doing whatever,

and Nikki's in a bathtub.

Classic Nikki.

I have never left a gig before, ever.

I want you...

- ...to know that.

- All right.

Not sure I believe you,

Mr. Slutty International DJ.

Are you slut shaming me?

Yeah, a little bit, I am.

Well, I'm not the one sitting

in some random guy's hot tub.

- Oh, got me there.

- Mm-hmm.

I mean, I don't want you to think

that's what I do all the time

or I just, like, pick girls out

and do this and I throw all these lines,

and I don't want you to think that

about me. That's, like, not who I am.

That's not what--

I believe you.

Good.

- 'Cause I care about what you think.

- Oh, you do?

I didn't mean to say that.

Did I say that out loud?

- You said it out loud.

- Oh, God, I hate myself.

That's nice, I like it,

thank you very much.

- I've never dated a guy like you.

- Me neither.

- What kind of guys do you date?

- Really f***ing handsome ones.

- Ooh!

- Not like this, like handsome.

Cool, I'd like to meet them.

Tell me the truth,

have you really never walked out

on a gig before?

Never.

And you're sh*t at lying so I believe you.

Yeah.

Click.

Click, click.

- And what was that?

- That was my mind camera,

taking photographs.

Click, click, click.

- I have a flight tomorrow, okay?

- Okay.

Um...

Also, also, don't forget.

I shouldn't sleep in too late.

My friend said I shouldn't forget that.

- Um... also...

- Mm-hmm.

Just a moment,

I'm just having a moment, just a moment.

It's probably more about the drugs

and the drinking and the Spain.

It's just some sort of European thing,

right? We don't really know each other.

So this is all pure projection, you know?

Right? 'Cause I don't know.

My God, oh, sh*t.

Perfect, you're flawless,

and that's why this is perfect.

Or maybe we just like each other.

Oh, God. Or that I'm really f***ed.

Me too.

F***!

What?

F***!

- Sh*t! F***ing alarm!

- What's wrong?

Airport, meeting, job.

Damn.

This is good.

Oh, you loved that hot tub last night,

didn't you, Harper?

No!

You're gonna get fired.

Everyone's gonna hate you.

Your mom is gonna be

so f***ing disappointed in you.

How are you going to explain this?

How are you going to explain this?

You can't!

F***, f***, f***!

It's all good. It's all good.

I'm gonna be fired,

and I have to be in Barcelona

in five minutes, so--

It's all right. I'll come to the airport

with you, all right?

- Okay, how do I look?

- Let's go, just don't look that way.

Off we go.

I knew it. Where is she?

- Stop screaming.

- Okay, we wait, like, five minutes max.

Then we call the police,

we go on Anderson Cooper,

- we start an investigation.

- No, stop, stop, stop.

- They're boarding now. We just gotta go.

- All right.

- She's so fired.

- Stop saying it.

We're gonna figure this out.

I have a good plan.

- I can't believe I did this!

- Stop it, it's all right.

F***, f***, f***, f***!

What are you doing?

I just want one picture

that you've not got a dick on your face.

You have to delete that.

You promised me you would.

- Don't make me.

- Why?

Because it's how we met

and we'll show it to our kids one day.

Our kids? Are you kidding me?

With global warming,

we've got, like, ten years left, max.

- Are you okay? I'm good.

- Yeah, yeah, just--

Right there.

I don't want to say goodbye.

Me neither.

Uh...

Well, thank you

for coming to the airport with me.

- Thank you for coming to Ibiza for me.

- I didn't come to Ibiza for you--

F*** it, I did, I did.

Um... Okay, I have to go.

You know, I've never met anyone like you.

- And you know how I know that?

- Hmm?

Because if I did, I'd make sure

I still knew that person.

Okay.

If I don't see you again,

this was really fun and...

...I'm glad.

- More nasally if you could,

- Hi, I'm Harper.

I'm beautiful, but insecure in a way

that makes my friends very frustrated.

I just threw clothes together

and somehow, they look so cool.

I'm Harper.

By the way, 100%.

I'm selling you the sangria.

- I mean, you're selling me the sangria.

- That was good.

- Oh.

- You look so beautiful.

- I brought you clothes.

- Oh, thank you.

You're sweet.

- Hey, girl, ready to do this?

- Hello.

Okay, I gotta go. I gotta go.

Okay, I'm so sorry. I gotta go.

Sorry, I have an emergency!

Nikki, this is going to be perfect.

You're a genius.

You're amazing and most importantly,

you look damn good.

I kind of know that I do,

and I feel like Harper,

but maybe, like, more professional.

Oh, yes, Susie Orman over here, okay!

Nothing to see,

just getting business done.

Oh, were you guys wondering

about strategies?

That's what business people know,

like me.

Hello, sir,

please don't eavesdrop on my business.

- Harper, this is Guillermo.

- Yes, nice-- mm-hmm.

Okay.

And I've corresponded with you

in the emails and such things.

- Yes, and Jose.

- Jose, okay.

We have communicated via emails as well.

This is amazing.

I'm a goddamn mastermind.

- Leah, Leah!

- Oh, my God, Harper!

- Holy sh*t, you're safe. You scared me.

- I'm safe.

I f***ed up, I'm sorry.

I'm gonna get fired.

You're not. Nikki and I have a plan,

just hold on to your shorts.

Here's a question. Who at this table

wants to get filthy f***ing rich?

- What is she doing in there?

- Taking the meeting as you. It's fine.

- I got to get in there--

- Oh, no, you reek of sex.

Like, high-five but also,

that's some ho business.

Look, she's like a white Steve Jobs.

She's got this. It's fine.

What you might notice

about both of these charts

is that the line thingy in them

is going up.

Three words for you,

virtual, reality, experience.

That would require us

hiring some kind of technology...

person who worked in virtual reality,

but at the end of the day...

She's touching Diego

an uncomfortable amount.

Yeah, they full on boned.

He f***ed the confidence into her.

She's so animated.

Sorry, self driving cars,

we've got Sangria.

Perfect!

Well, I do very accurate accents.

Harper, you make a wonderful argument

for your company

and seem to understand the vision

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