Imagine Me & You Page #3

Rach, life, work.

- Rach.

- Some day.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

Anyway, how about you? Married?

Ever been married,

ever gonna be married?

No. No.

Maybe now the laws have changed.

- How do you mean?

- Well, I'm gay.

Mmm.

Lovely. Well done.

- That'll be Cooper.

- Cooper's coming.

Yeah.

Mmm.

Heck?

- This is absolutely revolting.

- You think so?

It is, sweetheart. It's atrocious.

Anyway, more importantly, listen.

It's been three weeks now.

Let's have it.

How much better is sex after marriage?

- Please.

- Because, when I've had sex...

with people after they were married,

they have said that it's fantastic.

- Rach?

- Get wed and find out yourself.

Come on, Cooper couldn't make

that commitment.

We're talking about two or three years

of his life.

Well, not a one-person person.

You really don't think

your other half's out there?

- Or, you know, in here?

- Actually, Rach...

What, there's some

gorgeous women around.

Yes, there are, and I'm trying to

sleep with as many as I can.

And you never fail, do you?

You know, they teach the birds

and the bees about me.

It'll all change when you meet Miss Right.

And how am I supposed to know

when I do that?

You don't know, not straight away.

It just feels...

warm and comfortable...

and you hang in there and give it a chance,

before you know it, you're like...

"Yeah, this is it. Must be love."

- Yeah, I'm with her.

- I'm with her, too. Give me that.

I don't agree.

I think you know immediately.

You know, as soon as your eyes...

Then everything that happens

from then on, just proves...

that you had been right

in that first moment.

When you suddenly realized you had

been incomplete and now you are whole.

- Actually, I'm with her, I'd say.

- I'm with her, too.

Sorted. So, who's for pudding?

- Yes.

- No.

- No?

- No.

If you think that, you think that

everyone that doesn't have all that...

business is settling for less.

- That's not what I'm saying.

- That kind of is what you're saying.

I think she said it a bit nicer.

Trifle?

You look tired, chief.

You have a good day at work?

- Shite. I'm quitting.

- Did you check out flower girl back there?

Made that speech for me.

Later on tonight,

we're gonna fall madly in bed.

- Oh, it's going well for you guys?

- It's going very well.

She's a lesbian.

Is that right? Cool.

You don't think that slightly impedes

your plans for seduction?

Anyone can change teams.

Not anyone. I wouldn't...

'Cause, you know... But anyone, I mean...

What are you doing?

- It's gorgeous.

- It's raining.

Heck won't come up here.

They say it's subconscious fear

you'll throw yourself off...

but he freaks when I go near the edge, too.

Sorry about dinner.

I've eaten worse.

- Kind of went off.

- You didn't go off.

You went a little way off.

- You're wet.

- I'm fine.

- And you're cold.

- I'm fine!

- You can have it. Really, you can have it.

- I'm so fine.

- It's fine. Well...

- Okay, now you're cold.

Hey, what are you guys up to?

Nothing.

Well, Coop wants to play

strip poker or strip Cooper...

and I really want him to go home.

- Good night.

- See you soon.

- Two.

- Thanks for dinner.

Bye.

Cheers, Coop.

Next left.

It's one option, yes.

How about instead, we just go

straight back to my place?

Coop, take the next left.

- You all right, Luce?

- Why, 'cause I don't want to shag you?

You're welcome not to shag me,

just don't sit in my car all bored like that.

I'm sorry.

Really.

You've got something on your mind,

that's obvious.

You know what you should do?

You should share with me.

Because beneath this rugged exterior...

there beats a sensitive soul.

- No, there doesn't.

- No, there doesn't, but tell me anyway.

Bet it's a girl thing, no, right?

I mean, it's got to be.

It's a hot and horny scene.

It's you and another vegetarian.

Come on. Tell Uncle Cooper all about it.

Spare me no detail.

Have you ever met someone and just...

- But there was someone else already?

- Yeah, sure.

Hot ones are always taken.

- So, what do you do?

- What do I do?

I shag them.

Partner is their problem, it's not mine.

Yeah, I think you don't mess

with other couples.

Don't cause that pain, ever.

You just face facts that it can't happen...

walk away.

Hook up with someone available instead.

Well, your place or mine? Come on, let's...

I'm so good in bed.

So, you promise me the whole

matchmaking thing is over, right?

Last night was a big success.

They left together.

That distant sound you hear

is wedding bells.

What, you didn't twig?

- Oh, damn, you are so uncool.

- What? Twig what?

Well, the thing you didn't know about

Luce is the fact that she's... right here.

- Hey, hey.

- Hey, hi!

- Hello.

- Hi.

Weirdest thing,

we were just talking about you.

Oh, all nice, I hope.

- Oh, sorry. Heck, this is Edie.

- Edie.

- Heck.

- And Rachel.

- Rachel.

- Edie.

- Luce?

- Good.

- So, Saturday shopping?

- Is right.

Great.

Enjoy it. And listen, thanks for dinner.

We should definitely...

- Definitely.

- We will.

- Okay. Well, have a nice rest of shop.

- You, too.

So, are you going out tonight,

'cause I was thinking...

Whoa, pussycat.

What the hell was going on there?

That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Luce is gay.

- She's gay.

- As a tennis player.

Hey, you reckon that's the girlfriend?

She's not just heterosexual.

She's, like, Barbie heterosexual.

Oh, hey. How you doing?

We were just talking about you this time.

- Baby, we'll be late for kickoff.

- Oh, there's hours yet.

Sport thing, football team.

- Oh, how darling. Isn't that darling?

- Good, well, I hope you win.

- Edie, are you gay?

- Oh, God.

Am I gay? I'm ecstatic.

- And are you two...

- No. We're not.

I tried and I tried, but she loves another.

So, I... I'll call you.

- Do, 'cause we should definitely...

- Definitely.

- We will.

- We're going that way.

- We will.

- We're going that way.

- Yep. Bye again.

- Bye.

So, I found out they are not an item.

Yeah, very tactful. Let's pay.

Yeah, very tactful. Let's pay.

Hi.

- Are you stalking us?

- And why would we do a thing like that?

- We'll be at this till.

- Waving.

- We'll wave back.

- And do.

- Yes.

- Well, we must.

Definitely.

You know if there's a travel section, babe?

I like this jam.

It's really good jam.

I should make jam.

- I could make it, you know.

- 'Course you could.

- You don't think I could.

- Not for a second.

Anyway, I was talking to Rob yesterday.

- That man's an arse.

- That man is an arse.

But he's got this really sweet girlfriend.

God knows what she found

to love about him, but she does.

He cheats on her like a nutter.

- Oh, come back to bed.

- I'm up now.

Does she know?

Well, I'm like,

"If you wanna leave, tell her."

- You're really up?

- I really am.

Maybe he doesn't want to leave.

Maybe he doesn't know what he wants.

Anyway, he should figure it out

before someone gets hurt.

Why are you looking at me?

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