In Bruges Page #3

(SCOFFS)

What kinds of people?

Priests. Children.

You know, the usual.

Is there a lot of money to be made

in that line of business?

There is in priests.

There isn't in children.

So what is it you do, Chloe?

I sell cocaine and heroin

to Belgian film crews.

Do you?

Do I look like I do?

You do, actually.

(CHUCKLING)

Do I look like

I shoot people?

No.

Just children.

Mmm-hmm.

I saw your midget today.

Little prick didn't even say hello.

Well, he's on a lot of ketamine.

What's that?

Horse tranquilizer.

A horse tranquilizer?

- Where'd he get that?

- I sold it to him.

You can't sell horse tranquilizers

to a midget!

This movie, I think it's gonna be

a very good one.

There's never been a classic movie

made in Bruges until now.

Of course there hasn't,

it's a shithole.

Bruges is my hometown, Ray.

Well, it's still a shithole.

It's not a shithole.

What? Even midgets have to

take drugs to stick it.

Okay.

So, you've insulted my hometown.

You're doing very well, Raymond.

Why don't you tell me some

Belgian jokes while you're at it?

I don't know any Belgian jokes.

And if I did, I think I'd have

the good sense not to...

Hey, hang on. Is Belgium where there

were all those child abuse murders lately?

Then I do know a Belgian joke.

What's Belgium famous for?

Chocolates and child abuse.

And they only invented the chocolates

to get to the kids.

What?

One of the girls they murdered was

a friend of mine.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry, Chloe.

One of the girls they murdered

wasn't a friend of mine.

I just wanted to

make you feel bad.

And it worked.

Quite well.

F***ing unbelievable.

What's f***ing unbelievable?

Are you talking to me?

(SOFTLY) He pauses, even though he

should just hit the c*nt.

And he repeats.

Yes, I am talking to you.

What's f***ing unbelievable?

Well, I'll tell you what's

f***ing unbelievable, shall I?

Blowing cigarette smoke straight into

myself and my girlfriend's face.

That's f***ing unbelievable!

- This is the smoking section.

- I don't care if it's the smoking section.

All right?

She directed it right in my face, man.

I don't wanna

die just because of your f***ing arrogance.

Uh-huh.

Isn't that what the

Vietnamese used to say?

Vietnamese? What are you

talking about, the Vietnamese?

That statement makes

no f***ing sense at all.

- Yes it does.

- The Vietnamese!

Well, saying it over and over ain't

gonna make any more sense out of it.

How does the Vietnamese

have any relevance whatsoever

to myself and my girlfriend

having to breathe

your friend's cigarette smoke?

Tell me how saying...

That's for John Lennon,

you Yankee f***ing c*nt!

A bottle? No, don't bother.

(GROANS)

We're leaving.

I don't hit women!

I would never hit a woman, Chloe!

I'd hit a woman who was trying to

hit me with a bottle!

That's different.

That's self-defense, isn't it?

Or a woman who could do karate.

I'd never hit a woman generally, Chloe.

Don't think that.

God, you're pretty.

I have to make a call.

Oh, no.

You've gone off me, now, haven't you?

Just because I hit that f***ing cow.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello?

HARRY:
Where the f***

were you yesterday?

We just popped out for some dinner,

Harry. We only popped out for half an hour.

Yeah? What'd you have?

- For dinner?

- Yeah.

Pizza, at Pizza Hut.

Was it nice?

Yeah, it was all right.

I don't know. It was Pizza Hut.

The same as in England.

Well, that's globalization,

isn't it? Is Ray there with you?

He's in the toilet.

- Can he hear?

- No.

What's he doing?

- What do you mean?

- Is he doing a wee or a poo?

I don't know, Harry,

the door's closed.

Send him out on an errand for half

an hour, but don't make it sound suspicious.

(SIGHS)

Ray? Why don't you go out down

to the pub for half an hour?

Yeah, yeah, I know I said you couldn't,

but might as well enjoy ourselves, eh?

No, I don't know if they've got

bowling anywhere.

Could have a look.

Yeah, see you.

Yeah. He's gone.

What'd you say to him?

I said, 'Why don't you go have a drink,

you say you've been cooped up?'

- What did he say?

- Said, yeah, he would.

And he might go have a look to see

if there's a bowling alley around.

Was he just having a wee?

Yeah, I think so.

I assume so.

Sure he didn't mind?

No, he was glad to get out.

He's definitely gone?

Yeah, yeah, he slammed the door.

That don't mean he's gone.

Go check outside the door.

Harry, he's definitely gone.

You realize there are no

bowling alleys in Bruges?

I realize that, Harry.

The boy wanted to have a look anyway.

What are they gonna have,

a medieval f***ing bowling alley?

As I say, I think he was just glad

to get out and about.

So, is he having a nice time,

seeing all the canals and that?

I had a lovely time

when I was there.

All the canals and the

old buildings and that.

When were you here?

When I was seven.

Last happy holiday I f***ing had.

- Have you been on a canal trip, yet?

- Yeah.

Have you been down, like,

all the old cobbled streets and that?

Yeah.

It's like a fairytale,

isn't it, that place?

Yeah.

With the churches and that.

They're Gothic.

Yeah.

- Is it Gothic?

- Yeah.

So he's having

a really nice time?

Well, I'm having

a really nice time.

I'm not sure if it's

really his cup of tea.

What?

You know, I'm not sure

if it's really his thing.

What do you mean,

'It's not really his thing'?

What's that supposed to mean,

'It's not really his thing'?

What the f*** is that

supposed to mean?

Nothing, Harry.

It's a fairytale

f***ing town, isn't it?

How can a fairytale town not be

somebody's f***ing thing?

How can all those canals and bridges

and cobbled streets and those churches,

all that beautiful

f***ing fairytale stuff,

how can that not be

somebody's f***ing thing, eh?

What I think I meant to say was:

- Is the swan still there?

- Yeah, the swan's...

How can f***ing swans not f***ing

be somebody's f***ing thing, eh?

How can that be?

What I think I meant to say was,

when he first arrived,

he wasn't quite sure about it.

You know, there's that big, dual

carriageway when you get off the train?

It mightn't have been here when you

were here last, Harry.

Well, as soon as he got into,

like, the old town proper,

and he saw the canals and the bridges and,

you know, the swans and that,

well, he just

f***ing loved it then.

Couldn't get enough of it,

the medieval part of town.

It was just that initial, dual carriageway

thing sort of put him off for a second.

Don't know if I remember

a dual carriageway.

Must be recent.

Hasn't spoilt it, has it?

No, no, no, it's just that

initial thing.

And you know what?

As we were walking

through the streets,

there was this sort of freezing fog

hanging over everything,

and it made it look almost like

a fairytale or something.

And he turned to me,

do you know what he said?

What'd he say?

He said, 'Ken, I know I'm awake,

but I feel like I'm in a dream.'

Yeah? He said that?

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