Irreplaceable You Page #7

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My process of doing that

is to maintain an upbeat attitude.

That is not natural.

That doesn't come naturally for me.

It's very hard. It takes a lot of work.

I have mantras. I have affirmations.

I have a theme song!

I sing my theme song wherever I go.

And if that makes me an a**hole,

I'm sorry, Phil.

I don't give a rat's tit

because I am trying to survive here.

I'm trying to live!

Unlike...

I already forgot his name.

- [Meryl] Jim.

- [Kate] Jim.

His attitude was piss poor.

Look what happened to him.

You know who else's attitude

is piss poor?

Phil's?

[clicks tongue]

[Mitch] I don't know if that's helpful.

Can you sing your theme song?

Kate

Walkin' around

Walkin' on the street

Walkin' around the town, it's Kate

Crocheting roses

Crocheting roses

It has, like, eight verses,

but that's... that's the first stanza.

Your wig is pretty.

It's my hair, Meryl.

[gentle rock music]

Call me aside

And I will now be

And I will be fine with that

Don't leave me now

You might love me back

Distance is fine

I know you can't care

And nothing is big like that

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

One day I'll be fine with that

You don't leave me now

Do you love me back?

- It cost how much?

- I think it's pretty.

Well, it's a metal ring

with a shiny rock on top.

Women like them.

We needed that money for our future,

for your treatments.

- I'm taking it back.

- You can't! I have the receipt.

- I'm never giving it to anybody.

- You don't know that.

Yes, I do.

You could one day need a ring,

and then you'll have this one,

and you'll be grateful, and then...

When I do, do you really think I'd propose

with a ring you picked out?

Come on!

"Hey, new person, here you go.

This ring was personally selected

by my dead ex."

She'll love hearing that.

You're right.

I only meant...

This was our entire rainy day fund.

Sam, you've made your point.

[Myron] You can't stay mad at him forever.

He started it.

He freaked out over something

that wasn't even that big of a deal.

If it's no big deal, get over it.

I am over it.

I don't see why I have to be the one

to fix something

that wasn't even my fault.

What are we even looking at?

[Myron] For a hawk.

And why is this fun?

It's not, it's an obsession.

Speaking of obsession.

Just apologize and move on.

How can I?

You know, it's like they say,

when you get sick,

you really see what the people around you

are made of.

What if Sam and I

aren't right for each other after all?

What if we never were?

Me and Estelle had a fight once

lasted two years.

Nineteen-ninety to ninety-two.

- Over what?

- A couch.

Ugly, purple couch.

She wanted it. I didn't.

We put it in the living room,

and I was angry for two years.

- And then you got rid of it?

- No.

I got over myself.

Are you implying

I need to get over myself?

I'm saying it out loud.

Flat out.

You've loved and been loved.

You're one of the lucky ones.

Now you're gonna die.

That's it.

Why are you being like this?

I thought you were my friend.

I don't even give a sh*t about knitting.

- Crochet.

- Whatever!

The... The only reason I even went back

to yarn freaks anonymous all those times

was to see you.

- You shouldn't have done that.

- Why?

Why?

Why make friends

with somebody who's terminal?

But I'm glad you did.

Sam?

Sam?

[sighs]

Don't come back again

She won't talk to me.

She's... she's mad all the time.

It's like she's been replaced

by a lunatic.

You know, the more and more that you talk,

the more you sound like a crazy person.

- Give me another one.

- You know that?

- Hi.

- Oh, no, no, no.

Can I get you a drink?

- Let me buy you a drink.

- Sam, man, that's... Stop.

Hey, just ignore him.

He's... He's adorable,

but he's... he's not available.

- What are you doing?

- I'm very available.

- What are you doing, man?

- This is what she wants.

No, this is what she thinks

that she wants, man.

She's not thinking clearly.

You said it yourself

that she's acting like a lunatic.

Since when are you

the poster child for fidelity?

[scoffs]

Aw, that's... that's real nice, man.

Yeah, I play the field.

I f*** around more than I should.

But guess what?

I would give it all up for one moment

of what you and Abbie have.

What we had, you mean.

Yeah, what do you know?

So, can I ask what that is?

Because it's... it comes in the same glass,

but it has a completely different color.

You know what, let me... Um...

- And you have it on ice.

- Hey, this is... These drinks are on me.

And, um...

- Enjoy this. Yeah.

- Where are you going?

- Have a great, great, great night.

- Why are you...

- It's like f...

- I've got other things to do.

Ben!

Keep them coming.

[knocking]

[Mira] Oh, sh*t. He's here.

Hey!

Hey. Hi.

I just, uh...

Yeah.

[sighs] I just...

Yeah.

Yeah. Okay.

[light guitar music]

Oh, my God.

[Sam] Abbie?

[knocks]

Abbie.

Abs, are you there?

Go away!

I just want to be on my own, okay?

I don't care what you want.

I'm done with whatever you want.

What?

[Sam] You want me to be okay

after you're gone? Well, news flash.

I'm not gonna be okay, no matter

how much you try to push me away.

You can't make me okay without you.

Hey.

What happened to you?

Well, I was... I was out with Benji.

I just talked to him.

He said he left you hours ago.

I was at Mira's.

The bad photographer.

She has cats.

- A... Abbie.

- It's none of my business.

- Of course it's your business.

- No... No, no, it's good.

It's actually a good thing

you're moving on.

- I mean, that's... that's...

- No, you don't mean that.

That's what I've been trying

to get you to do.

Abbie.

- You're a little ahead of schedule, but...

- It was nothing.

- Look at me. Look at me.

- Don't f***ing touch me!

Come on. Just...

Abbie, let me in. I'm...

[door slams]

[dog barks]

[sighs]

[light guitar music]

Here, I thought maybe you'd

want to do some crafts.

Oh.

Thanks.

Hey.

You got this.

Up over there

While my heart is sinking

I do not want my voice

To go out into the air

Did you leave the darkness without me?

You're always miles ahead

[Dr. Kessler] I'm so sorry, Abbie.

We're just not seeing the results

we would like to see.

It's time for you to start focusing

on what your priorities might be,

find some things

you might like to do and...

who you want to be spending time with.

Abbie.

Abbie, is... is your husband here

with you today?

Oh, be my rest

No.

And anyway, he's, uh...

not my husband.

Did you leave the darkness

Without me?

[Dominic] All right, Joe,

let's get you set up, okay?

Want to undo your buttons for me?

You got it right there.

All right, flex that arm. Good.

Hey!

I got you a milk shake.

I put it by your chair.

I'm actually just checking out

of the treatment suite.

I really enjoyed my stay, but, um...

I don't think I'll be back.

Well, take care, all right?

And remember us on Yelp.

On the leaf-bright Friday drive

Sudden horses at the red light

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