Jackass 3.5 Page #5

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-That was one big son of a b*tch, dude.

-I had no idea.

He came out, dude, I was like...

F***!

-He looked much shorter in the gate.

-Yeah.

He looked way shorter in the gate.

-Hey, man, awesome, dude.

-Thank you.

-Good God! You're my man.

-Thank you, man.

You've had some good moments

in this arena, man.

-Yeah. Thanks, Gary.

-Where is that bull now?

-Wee Man!

-Wee Man! All right!

I'm the devil, and it's time to burn.

The Flaming Gauntlet is definitely

my most macho bit,

because I knew

that I was gonna get burned.

What's the plan here, O?

Well, I come along this beam,

these balls are on fire,

and they're swinging,

and they knock me into the fire.

The guy who ran the warehouse

where we shot the Flaming Gauntlet

was concerned that the heat

from burning the coals

was gonna crack his cement.

So, in order to protect his cement,

he laid down these steel sheets.

Yeah, I noticed that.

-Why did they put it on a frying pan?

-I don't know.

Really walking the line

between horror and humor.

This is a rough one, man.

Like, I'm a thrower,

and if I hit him with one of the balls,

he's going into the pit.

That's gnarly.

Holy sh*t! My ball's crazy, man!

I'm Steve-O,

and this is the Flaming Gauntlet.

F***! F***!

It's still on you, man.

-God damn it.

-Is it hot?

Yeah, man, it's burned.

Yeah!

Is your skin burnt or is it just...

-Yeah, look at that, right there.

-Yeah.

-Sh*t.

-It's gonna get...

-Yeah, it's really hot.

-You're burned, man.

Yeah, it's really hot.

-That's the thing about fire.

-I know.

It's hot.

I got burned all up the side of my body.

I had to go to a burn unit.

Sh*t!

Call the medic.

Dude, grab some towels.

What's your pain level at?

A normal person

would probably ask for a painkiller.

Well, you got your card revoked.

If you want the job done...

-Just rub it in a little more.

-... if you want respect...

So gay.

I don't know any gay dudes that do this.

This will plug you up.

That's a man

that has nothing left to lose.

That's Brandon Novak,

and this is the Dildo Bazooka.

Jackass 3D:
Full Penetration.

Oh, God. Jesus.

-All right. Ready?

-Yeah, yeah.

I had a tripod brought in,

so I can get a guaranteed hit.

Wait.

Here we go.

Can I see where it hit?

Oh, God!

-The skid mark.

-Laugh it up, guys.

Oh, my God!

-It's shaped like a dong.

-Dude.

And there's a dong pointing to it.

I finally made it, Mom.

This is the Flying Nut High Five.

I f***ing slipped!

Oh, my God!

Flying Nut High Five

is the attempt to jump up in the air

running at another dude,

spread your legs,

and then knock your nuts together.

But it never worked.

Surprisingly difficult.

Bam's Liberace diamond -covered soles,

it's the worst thing ever.

-Did I get sabotaged or am I just...

-No they're both... Look at this.

You just don't know how to sit right.

It's this chair, man.

F***ing chair.

It's, like, the most flimsy

f***ing chair I've ever met.

Sh*t!

Here we go again.

This is the Flying Nut High Five.

Why don't you guys take your shoes off?

Why don't you shut the f*** up?

We started off on the same chairs!

Look at yours, it's just crumbling.

-It's ruined.

-F***!

No...

Come on, man. Look at this.

We got a parachute, two of us on a bike,

and a massive ramp.

And this bike was bought last night

on the Internet. Am I correct?

Yeah. I think he went and picked it up

about midnight.

Seriously, this was bought at midnight,

-found online.

-Yeah.

So, explain to me what this scene is.

All right. We got Andy Bell

and Dave England riding a motorcycle

and hitting that ramp going really fast.

And Dave England's on the back of it

with a parachute,

and they're gonna ditch the motorcycle

in the air,

Dave England's

parachute's gonna go up,

it's probably not gonna deploy,

and he's gonna hit very hard.

-In the water?

-Yeah.

Hopefully.

I'm gonna laugh my head off.

I'm here with Andy Bell,

and this is the Moto Base Jump.

Yeah.

Here we go. Here we go.

Kids, don't try this at home.

-He almost did a full roll.

-Look at it.

That, dude, when they hit the ramp,

they almost buckled.

Holy sh*t.

This game is called

God's Special Purpose for Me is Over.

-It knocked the wind out of me so bad.

-It knocked the wind out of me, too.

I just saw my entry, I'm like, "Oh, no."

God, it gave me a nutter.

Are you gonna try it again, ladies?

Over and over till we get it right.

With you on the back, Eddie.

Fat-Fat is hungry for some chocolate,

so now I'm gonna feed him.

I'm Wee Bam.

This is the Ballway.

Sh*t's gonna get muffed up.

That's the cutest thing I ever saw.

The look on his face was so happy,

like a big, perverted Labrador.

Oh, sh*t.

Yeah!

F***.

Was that the corner?

-F***.

-Dave.

That's not good.

That was the corner, right?

Yeah, he's gonna have to see somebody.

-Let's help him over here.

-Hit my head on the f***ing wall, dude.

-Yeah.

-Grab his arm,

so he doesn't trip and fall.

Party.

-What are you guys doing?

-Wow.

This is the Electric Limbo.

He couldn't let go.

We shot a lot with electricity.

Like, we built a limbo bar

that was totally charged.

The bar was electric.

-Like that.

-It's great.

No off to the side sh*t.

-Oh, man, it's tough.

-I'm not sure about your technique.

You're leaning forward.

You should be going backwards.

Go, go, go, go.

Fudge!

Yeah, Wee.

Electricity's a wild beast.

And it's an unpredictable beast.

Come on, Dave.

F***ing sh*t!

F***!

And it sucks. Electricity f***ing sucks.

Okay, whoever licks the ladder

is the champ.

Go, Steve-O.

Let's party!

-You got it.

-Get on your knees.

-All right.

-Damn!

-No

-Get your tongue way out.

There's no danger. Yeah.

Yeah, just put it in.

-You got it.

-You've licked worse things.

-It's a party.

-There it is.

-You got it.

-Do it.

Go, go, go, go, go.

The champ!

Whenever the bit involves

Pontius' penis in a costume,

you don't wanna be

in the peanut gallery.

Hey, Chris, we don't need to see

your outfit from this side.

You don't need to. It's a bonus.

What most people don't know is,

we did a lot of penis-related stunts

'cause there's so many funny ideas

to do with the penis

that have been yet unexplored.

And Chris is insanely particular

about putting a costume on his penis,

and it took us about

six hours just to get it dressed.

Since we made it tighter,

this is like one thing,

so it doesn't hang like it did.

But wait. I think if you keep jamming it

in there, it will bend it down.

Keep stuffing it in there.

That's what I was trying to say.

I need some assistance.

Also, a lesser-known fact is

they scheduled them one after another.

First, it's like,

"Put your penis in the rat trap."

He's looking at it.

And then,

the numerous helicopter tugs.

Swing around with it.

I like, in particular,

when it's the clear box with the cat,

and he had it dressed up like a cat toy

with catnip all over it.

I guess the idea was

he'd get it scratched up real bad.

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