Kenny Page #4

Synopsis: From the biggest festival to the smallest church social, Kenny Smyth delivers porta-loos to them all. Ignored and unappreciated, he is one of the cogs in society's machinery; a knight in shining overalls taking care of business with his faithful 'Splashdown' crew. Follow Kenny as he tackles every septic challenge that comes his way, culminating in a pilgrimage to that Mecca of waste management, the International Pumper and Cleaner Expo in Nashville Tennessee - or as Kenny affectionately calls it, "Poo HQ". With fly-on-the-wall honesty and wit, 'KENNY' lifts the lid on one of Australia's roughest diamonds as he juggles family tensions, fatherhood and sewage with charm, humour and unflinching dignity. "It takes a certain kind of person to do what I do... No-one's ever impressed; no-one's ever fascinated... If you're a fireman, all the kids will want to jump on the back of the truck and follow you to a fire. There's going to be no kids willing to do that with me. So, I don't do it to impr
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Clayton Jacobson
Production: Xenon Pictures
  6 wins & 10 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.3
Rotten Tomatoes:
100%
PG-13
Year:
2006
99 min
Website
1,021 Views


You there, Dad?

Hey, mate, how are you going?

Oh, you made it, I see.

I did. Good to see you again.

Say hello to

your grandfather, son.

You better... Wait on, boy.

Take your shoes off.

You might have to

pop them off.

You'd better get yours off too.

- Alright. We'll pop them off.

Right.

Have you been well?

Oh, yeah. Listen...

Eh, eh, just before...

No, wait on.

I've just had that scotchguarded there.

You'd better get these off.

You'd better get these off.

Well, they're clean.

I mean, I haven't been...

I've only dropped

into the office this morning.

There's no business on them.

I'm actually going to

a job tonight.

Well, they don't look

too flash to me.

Get them off. I'll get you...

I've got something

you can wear. Here, I've got...

Get them off, would you?

Well, I can't run around

in me jocks, Dad.

No, well, I've got something.

I've got a gown here

you can put on.

No-one's gonna see you.

For Christ's sake.

Just take them off.

Jesus Christ.

Well, what am I gonna wear?

I've got a gown here.

I've got a gown, I said.

So what else is news, Dad?

What have you been doing?

Oh, not a lot. There's not

a lot to do down here.

It goes past with

monotonous regularity.

Just don't take your foot off the thing.

Just let me move that up.

Sure.

I'll get a couple of coasters there for...

Won't be a tick.

- Alright.

There you go, young fella.

Don't... Try not to spill that.

Just keep...

keep your eye on him.

He'll be right, Dad.

There you go, son.

There's your water for you.

I'll give you a tea.

I'm a bit light on for coffee.

My pension doesn't come through till

next week.

Did you ring that bloke that

I told you to ring about the job?

No, I didn't...

No, I haven't rung him.

Why not?

He's a good mate of mine.

Why didn't you ring him?

I'm not saying he's not

a good mate of yours, Dad.

It's just I don't need

to ring him. I've got a job.

Yeah, but I'm talking

about a real job.

I'm talking about a real job.

I've got a real job, Dad.

I'm a plumber.

Yeah, plumber, my arse.

I know what you are.

Here, young fella.

You better go outside

and eat that.

I don't want you dropping crumbs all

over the floor.

Sit on... Outside.

Take your hat, mate, so...

You might get

a bit of sun out there.

Pop your hat on too, eh?

I'm a little... A little

disappointed in you, son.

In me? Disappointed...

disappointed with what?

It's a full-time job, Dad.

I'm working

six to seven days a week...

...and I'm pulling in over $1,200.

Yeah, what, a full-time job?

I didn't put you through school...

...for you to become

a f***in' glorified turd burglar...

...and that's all you

f***in' well are!

I'm a plumber, Dad.

I'm a plumber.

Oh, plumber, my arse!

Don't say this stuff

in front of the boy.

I won't say it in front of him.

That's why I sent him outside.

I'm not a ding-a-ling.

You never see a man,

you never come to see me...

...and when you come here,

all you wanna do is argue.

I don't wanna argue.

I've just got a job.

As soon as you can accept

that I've got a full-time job...

I thought you'd be glad

to see me.

I am glad to see you, Dad.

I've just driven down here to...

Of course I'm glad to see you.

And the lad's growing up.

The last time I saw him,

he was about this high...

...and have a look at him now -

he's nearly f***in' 6ft.

You don't bring him

near the place.

What, are you ashamed of me

or something?

Of course I'm not

ashamed of you, Dad.

Aw, it gives me the shits,

it does, boy.

You've never appreciated

anything I've done for you.

Oh, it's not about

appreciation, Dad.

I'll just wash this cup.

Pop your shoes on, mate.

Here, young fella. Here.

Put that in your kick and

be good to your dad, alright?

Here, give us a cuddle.

Thank Granddad for

the 20 cents. Say thank you...

Thank you.

- Alright.

Off you go. I wanna have

a talk to your father.

Keep your eye on the boy and

don't have him running round...

...like a wild navvy,

for Christ's sake.

I never let you get away

with any of those things.

If you don't rule them

with a rod of iron...

...they'll make an arsehole of you

out in public...

...when you take them out.

He's alright.

Yeah, he's alright.

Well, keep him that way.

Alright, well, I'll see you again.

Alright.

Don't make it so long next time,

for Christ's sake.

A man never sees you.

You never come to visit me.

I'll see you soon.

As soon as I've finished...

And if you get a chance,

ring that bloke about that job.

It won't happen, Dad.

Good to see you.

Alright. See you.

Righto.

One! Two! Three!

Move!

I mean, this is kind of

my outlet, you know?

On the job sometimes, you know, you

get a few smarties -

...you know, a couple of

clever d*cks on the job...

...that always wanna have

a go at you.

And, you know,

they're all full of Dutch courage...

...and got themselves full

of the Batman juice.

So I started doing this

as a little bit of insurance...

...a bit of self-insurance.

Out! In! Out!

What's that?

A little bit quicker, mate.

A little bit quicker!

The only hard bit sometimes

is, with the head gear on...

...plus I'm actually

slightly deaf in one ear -

...my right side...

Hook - Right hand!

What?

Hook - Right hand!

Right. Sorry.

Takes it out of me, this, but I do

enjoy doing it, the old boxing.

Beat the sh*t out of each other

and get back to work.

I don't make the rules up.

I don't make the plans.

We get all given the same map.

You've gotta be

more conscious...

...of what other guys

are doing, mate.

You want three units, so we'll need to

get that truck in there.

The toilet over there

is disgusting.

There's piss all over the walls.

It's gross. You really should

try and maintain them.

You'd think it'd be

a simple thing.

150 bucks a head. $150.

I kind of think what I could do

with $150 for 200 people.

Which way? Over this way?

Hey, hang on, hang on!

- Sorry, love!

- If you don't mind!

Sorry. I'm actually here with...

I'm here with

the... Toilet company.

Sorry, love.

I didn't see anything,

if that makes any difference.

Jesus.

You know, I wouldn't mind...

They could sh*t on the floor,

I can cope with that.

This is what annoys me

the most - This stuff.

Look, 'Davo waz here'.

Can't spell for a starter.

'Davo waz here'.

What a claim to fame that is.

Imagine if he went to, er...

Imagine if he got

to the Eiffel Tower.

He'd want a golden handshake...

...a f***in' brass band

and a fireworks show.

This is his claim to fame.

He's been to our shitter.

What a f***in' muppet.

Kenny, are you there?

Yeah, go ahead, Pat.

Listen, mate.

I need you down at the block.

A bit of a situation here.

We've got...

I can't hear you. You're breaking up.

I need you here

to have a look and...

I'll be there in a minute.

Just hang on a second.

Jeez.

Just found him here.

See if you can...

...undo that chain.

What the bloody hell's?...

You right, mate?

Can you?... Hey, mate?

You alright?

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Clayton Jacobson

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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