Kevin Hart: Laugh at My Pain Page #3

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Siamese twins apart.

If you bleed,

it doesn't stop?

Very, very slowly.

Until all the blood

seeps out of me.

Still you don't go

to a hospital?

- Nope.

- Why?

Cuz people all die

in hospitals.

Doctors aren't undertakers.

My parents both died

in the hospital.

And we lost everything

to cover hospital bills.

So, I treat my own self.

I read many medical books

and related stuff

even in English.

Want me to study more

and heal you one day?

You smiled!

- So!

- You do know how to smile.

- Looks good.

- Bullshit.

This is bullshit!

Don't say that.

Think this'll work?

Not at all.

Oh man...

What?

What is it?

It must be really hard

for Siamese twins!

Emergency?

It's that way.

Thank you.

Which department?

Good question.

I wasn't gonna tell ya,

and handle it on my own.

The bastard's using

my wife's debt

as an excuse to use us

like dogs.

Says to be

like Deungsinbul!

What's that?

He puts himself

on fire as

an offering to Buddha

and becomes...

A hunchback, a martyr,

then a Buddhist statue.

Put myself on fire?

Not that.

A sacrifice fly.

Cause a big accident and

if someone gets badly hurt...

He'll bring in the press

and get people

on his side.

Damn bastards.

Like we'll fall into that.

Remember,

the ones with guts win.

What's the plan?

Know that damn rabbit?

The one with big bucked teeth

tagging alongside

the boss?

Yeah.

He's the boss' nephew.

I'll get him.

How?

You pick a fight with him,

then get stabbed

in the gut.

That'll clear up my debt

and money for you on top.

Sure he's got a knife?

I saw him go around

with it.

It's a tiny, little one.

- I'll think about it.

- What? Think?

Guess my pal's doing

a lot of thinking these days.

You're right.

Money's not important.

My pal, Nam-soon, is.

But let's finish up

today's gigs.

You got hurt again?

Why do you live

like this?

Sh*t happens in life.

Aren't you sorry to

your family living like that?

- What?

- Living like this...

Your family in heaven

is watching.

They're all crying.

Don't go overboard.

I saw it

when I broke the dish.

How sorry and how much

you missed them.

- They miss you, too.

- Get out.

Get lost!

I'm sorry

if I went overboard.

I'll move out at dawn.

He's gotta be from

a royal family!

A royal family?

Last time

I saw a woman

hold his hand and cry.

Probably his nanny or deaconess.

I even saw him walking out

from Yonsei University.

He probably didn't like

his betrothed...

And ran away here

the day before his wedding.

Come and look around.

Why'd you come out?

No reason.

I didn't mean

for you to move out.

You came here to tell me that?

And not sleep?

Yeah.

Talk somewhere private.

I'll watch your stand.

Honestly...

Sometimes

I want to give up, too.

Give up what?

Getting by.

There are only 7 women

in the world

like me

who lived past 20.

Since I was young,

I had bad joints from my illness.

If I wasn't careful,

I'd get bruised.

When my body ached,

I knew

it was a sign of rain.

So, my nickname

was granny.

School picnics,

excursions...

Never been near em.

It said Hemophiliac,

don't hit'

right on the attendance.

But when the kids

got punished and stuff...

They let me pass.

When I was in school...

Kids kept

scratching my body

with knives

without me knowing.

So, one day I grabbed one

and hit him.

He went blind in one eye.

So, I went to prison.

I met the guy I work

with there.

But now...

I don't want to get

beaten anymore.

Can I ask why you use

your sister's name?

So I won't forget.

Your sister

must be thankful.

I'm not sure now.

I don't remember much.

My family all died

cuz of me.

Cuz I spilt Coke

in the car.

Just cuz

my stupid finger hurt...

I even killed my sister.

Life is filled with

worry and deceit.

At times we become

disillusioned with life.

And we feel like dying

and giving up.

There is nothing that

can't be done in God.

Let us pray for our gifts

to be used as God's tools.

And be good followers of Christ.

Use it.

I found a payphone,

but it's way too far.

It's the first time

anyone ever thought of me...

Why'd you cry?

After a big cry

I feel relieved and refreshed.

Like putting ointment

on my chest.

That's why you cried?

To feel refreshed?

Yeah.

What are you doing!

Before...

When I felt like crying...

This is what I did.

But it didn't hurt at all,

so no tears came out.

Right then, I wished...

Someone would ask me...

What's wrong?

Joo Dong-hyun...

You can tell me

everything.

Things that make you

laugh or cry.

Nam-soon

taking care of me...

Reminds me of my dad.

I miss him so much!

Wait...

This...

Know what it feels like?

How does it feel?

I can't explain it.

It's okay.

You don't feel...

For a scrawny girl,

right?

If you punched it,

it would've broke.

But you pressed it

down hard.

So no one will know

you miss them.

Let's change the glass.

From now on, tell me

if you wanna cry.

I'll cry for you.

Am I too scrawny?

No, you're perfect.

- Do I have a long tongue?

- Yup.

I wanna live long.

Me, too.

Damn! That fool!

Sh*t!

If it starts, I do it.

If not, I go.

Damn!

What happened to your hand?

You can't serve

customers like that.

Hands are most important.

You gotta lure in customers.

But not with a look

like that.

Can you smile?

Cut!

Cut!

Let's try it again!

Come on!

You're supposed to

be angry!

ls that all you can do!

- Let me see.

- I got a message.

Hey, rabbit!

Came to give you this.

If your teeth fall out...

Stick these in like this,

instead.

You look like a rabbit,

but go around like a damn lynx!

You're a joke!

Who are you?

What?

What the f*** you

staring at me for!

Shithead!

I'll pull out

those rabbit teeth,

slit your belly,

and fry up your guts!

What!

Stab me!

Stop!

What are you doing!

I'm moving down

to the country.

And start a strawberry farm.

Don't ever look

for me again.

Cut!

This guy got hit for real!

Director!

This guy's so real!

Eat up.

- Mr. Park Nam-soon?

- Yes?

Oh, I forgot.

The star actor wants to hit

you for real

in the next scene.

We'll pay you.

How about $150 per day?

- Sure.

- Good work.

$5000 TO JOO DONG-HYUN

Not bad.

- Park!

- Yes?

Let's try something else

for the next cut.

Come in

from another angle?

How much is this?

Cut! Great!

Who's it for?

Well, well.

Cuz you wouldn't be

a Deungsinbul...

My nephew said

he'd do it instead.

So, I treated him

to a date

with one of my pretty gals.

But you tried to

jab him, huh?

No, sir.

That's not it.

Take off his pants.

I'll jab him.

No! Please!

Wait!

What?

You can't?

Then you pay for late

construction losses.

It's about $1 million.

I'll do it!

I swear!

Great! Next!

Good!

Nam-soon, jump!

I came to see someone!

When you jump from high,

you gotta land right.

Nam-soon! Get away!

Nam-soon!

It's just a show, man.

A piece of pie.

Then why're

they paying $50,000?

It's hard for others,

but easy for you.

You don't feel pain.

Just get it

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