Kickin It Old Skool Page #4

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- Justin.

- Hi, Jen.

- Do you have VH1 on?

Uh, n-Yeah. No.

Oh. Turn it down!

Hi.

You are so lucky you missed out

when that song was popular.

That and "Whoomp! There It Is."

Listen. Kip's throwing

this big party for the show.

You should come.

It's a pretty fun club.

I was in D&D Club.

Oh, it's not that kind of club?

Justin!

I'm so glad you came.

How do you like this place?

Don't worry.

I learned about this in school.

Justin?

- You're having a seizure.

Don't swallow your tongue.

- Justin!

- Don't swallow it.

- Justin, get up off the man.

- He's krumping.

- Get out of here!

Get a real wallet!

Waterproof. Jealous?

Hey. The crapper's

right around the corner.

- Yeah. You can't miss it. It says "W"-

- Hey, Kip. Look who I found.

What? Hey!

Senor Coma.

Say, isn't it past your bedtime?

No. Mom said I could

stay out till midnight.

Whoa! Holy smokes, Jen.

Midnight, huh?

- Yeah.

- Is your mom gonna be waiting

for you in the station wagon?

- No. I rode my bike.

- He's got a bike.

That's pretty cool. I had a bike. Do you have,

uh, the, uh, streamers on the handlebars?

Or how about the baseball cards

in the spokes? Remember those?

- Kip, stop it.

- I had a bike, Jen. I was just kidding with him.

- I got mags.

- You're a fag.

Hey, Andrew McCarthy.

Jen, I'll be right back.

Hey. Why don't you go to the bar

and get us a drink.

Well, do they have fruit punch?

The fruitiest.

Delicious.

- Sounds good.

- Delicious.

Here's lookin' at you, kid.

You're a jerk.

Hey.

- Frontsies.

- Get away from me.

Frontsies.

No.

Backsies.

- You havin' some fun yet?

- This place is okay.

There's nothin' to do.

Shut up. All right. Look around you.

This place is freakin' amazing.

I'm gonna have a birthday party

at Chim E. Changa's. That place is awesome.

You wanna have fun?

Learn to dance like the brother.

I can help you out. Here.

Taste some of this.

Gives you wings, buddy.

Whoa.

It tastes like a laser.

Mmm.

Justin. Justin.

Justin.

- Come on, baby. Justin.

- Emmanuel Lewis?

What are you doin' here?

Mackin' hos.

- You mack hos?

- I mack hos five nights a week, trick.

You ain't never seen

none of my home videos?

Dang.

- Whoo!

- Ooh!

Justin.

Jen.

Justin, should I call you a cab?

Don't call me a cab.

You're a cab.

I missed you so much,

my little angel hair pasta.

Yes, I'm a jerk.

I'm a- I'm a jerk.

Justin, we're gonna go.

You suck.

I gotta go home.

Somebody's in here.

Okay. Okay!

All right then.

Justin, your father and I are not happy

with the way you have been acting.

Coming in at all hours. And you cannot

sit still for longer than two seconds.

It's like you're a 12-year-old

stuck in a 30-year-old body.

Yeah. And you have seriously

f'ed up my TiVo.

We know you have started

break-dancing again.

And, frankly, we have

enough money problems...

without worrying about you cracking

your head open doing that head spin thing.

I'm not doing head spins.

And-And I can help with the money.

- I just need more time.

- Is time gonna buy me a new TiVo?

Oh, my God!

Will you shut up about the TiVo!

- Jesus Christ!

- It's broken!

Okay, honey. We went

and we had a little talk with Dr. Fry.

And he, um- he gave us some medicine

to maybe help you settle down.

And it's called Ritalin.

Oh, God, no. Skin.

You'd rather me take drugs

than be funky fresh?

What is wrong with you people?

Just leave me alone!

- I think I'm gonna take a couple of these.

- Knock yourself out.

I know what the next big fad is.

- You remember the Rubik's Cube?

- Yes.

- You remember it, right?

- Yes.

Okay. I came up with

my own Rubik's Cube.

Except I put in a little culture.

Check it out.

Now presenting...

the Jewbik's Cube!

I'll sell a million

of these in Israel.

Jewish star, a money sign,

a menorah and a d-

Dude, you put a dick

on the Jewbik's Cube?

- Give me that.

- You loser.

It's a circumcised penis.

The only other real Jewish thing

I could think of.

Hey, Justin. So what are

we working on today?

Aki, do the robot.

How you used to.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop!

Aki, it's time

to say domo arigato...

and find your inner Roboto.

- Domo.

- Domo.

- Domo.

- Domo.

But I can't show you the way.

But he can.

Justin, this is ridiculous.

Shoot, we ain't losin' a hundred grand

because of you. Just do the damn thing.

Before I punch you in the head

like a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot.

What in the hell is that?

This is robo-retarded.

I can't do it.

Listen, guys.

We may have gotten old...

or forgotten what we love...

or even been in a coma.

But starting today, right now...

we remember who we are.

'Cause we are the Funky Fresh Boyz.

Jen, we're gonna be late.

This is not happening.

All right.

I need you to tell me

everything you know...

about the female anatomy.

I think it's time I introduced you

to a little thing called...

the Internet.

And that covers about, oh,

one-trillionth of everything.

Huh? Huh?

Justin. Justin.

By the power of Grayskull.

Bodies aren't supposed to-

Midget. Cheese Whiz.

That's not how you play Twister.

Ooh, I didn't see that one yet.

Click it.

- No, no, no.

- Click it.

- No, no, no.

- Click. Click.

Calm down, nigga.

You just hit puberty.

Okay. Now, what we need to do

is come up with a plan.

Okay? 'Cause

if we ain't got a-

Damn. She got a nice ass.

Click it.

You guys are Cole's crew, right?

Which one of you is Cole?

- You're Cole?

- You that dude from the contest?

A contest I'd like to see you win.

- Don't worry.

- But I am worried, Cole.

I'm worried that four

fat, dumb dance 'tards...

are gonna stir up a bunch of goodwill

and nostalgia...

and get their wack wrinkly asses

on my network for a year.

I can't let that happen.

That's where you four come in.

Now listen to me very carefully,

and I will make sure you get rich, famous...

and most important of all...

that you beat the Funky Fresh Boyz.

No problem.

Only we'll do more

than just beat them.

We'll make sure

that they get served.

Yeah. I don't think that sounds

as manly as you think it does.

- Yeah, huh.

- How old am I again?

All right.

Let's take it from the top.

Excuse me one second, girls.

Yes.

Yes.

Uh-oh.

- Hi, Justin.

- Oh, hey.

Hi. Yo.

Uh- I-D-Do you work right here?

I'd love to go to dinner with you.

But right now I have to

teach my dance class, okay?

- And, Darnell-

- He's not in here.

- You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

- Y-You look nice.

Darnell? You're here?

Bye.

Yes!

You pretend to be Jen.

I don't know why

you're making me be the girl.

Because there's more of you

to love, Hector.

Now here, put this on.

Justin, you just rang the doorbell.

Make your move.

- Hi, Justin.

- Hi.

- Justin, how do I look?

- Uh-

Justin, do I look nice?

Do you think that maybe I look nice?

You gotta make me feel pretty.

You gotta make me feel like a woman.

You know what

I'm telling you, huh, Justin?

You think I'm stupid?

I ain't stupid.

You don't tell me nothing.

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