Kicking & Screaming Page #6

---

Stop talking and serve!

Maniac.

Now, I bury you.

Bury you!

Bury you!

Bury you!

Yeah.

I'll see you inside.

Okay.

That's the best I've

ever played against him.

Yeah, it didn't grind

the barbecue to a halt at all.

Ow.

You made an excellent impression

on your son, by the way.

Hey, I... I almost had you.

What do you call that again,

when you almost win?

Oh, yeah, yeah, losing.

I'll tell you, Dad.

The Tigers are

making it to the finals.

That ain't

never gonna happen.

Oh, yeah?

Never.

You wanna make a bet?

Yeah.

Yeah?

Fine. Okay.

We'll bet.

I beat you,

and you sell that break-even

snake-oil stand of yours.

And you're gonna

come to work for me.

No. No, I'm not

gonna work for you.

Uh? Oh.

Okay, okay,

okay, okay. Stop.

Okay. But if I win...

What?

I get the Pel ball.

Do what?

If I beat you

in the finals,

Pel ball.

It's mine. I get it.

Here comes Pel.

A little high

and into the crowd.

I got it! I got it!

No. I got it.

Yeah!

Dad?

What?

Can I have the ball?

For what?

I caught it. Why?

You get

the next one.

If I beat you in the finals,

I get the Pel ball.

For the day.

Forever.

No way, Jose.

No, sir. No way.

All right. All right.

Yeah?

We got ourselves a bet,

okay?

All right.

Good.

Good.

Good.

Yes.

See you tomorrow.

Okay. Good.

Yeah, I think we're gonna

have to cut you off, sir.

Ooh.

Not a chance.

Gotta go feed the meter.

Line 'em up.

Your wife told me about

the bet you made

with your old man.

Oh, yeah?

What of it?

I think maybe

you're getting

ahead of yourself.

We played the easy

part of our schedule.

We gotta win

five games in a row

just to make

the semifinals.

So maybe you should...

Maybe you should

worry more about the team

and less

about the schedule.

What?

There's a lot of

slothfulness going on.

Slothfulness?

Yeah.

Let's go, Tigers.

Bring it in.

Bring it in, guys.

Let's go.

Grab some bench.

Look how much time it takes

for them to come in.

Take a seat.

Let's go.

Okay, guys.

I had you come

here early today,

so we could talk

about some sloppy play.

It's come

to my attention

that lately,

I've noticed

a general,

blatant disregard

for our game plan.

Ambrose.

Yeah?

I saw a bunch of

nonsense out there.

What was going through your

head out there last week?

I was breaking

my back for you, Coach,

because of my love

for the game.

Liar!

Jack.

What?

Who are you supposed

to pass the ball to?

The Italians.

Right. Alex, when?

When I come in

contact with the ball.

The instant you come

in contact with the ball.

That's our strategy.

It's one of the many plays

we've worked out.

It's the only play

we've worked out.

How many sarcastic pills

did you take this morning?

Coach,

I'm just saying...

"But, Coach... "

You gotta

lighten up.

He started it.

I seem to remember

a certain little boy

who was very

sad when he lost.

And that same little boy

was very happy when he won.

I'm doing this

for you, okay?

So that

we can have fun.

Right? Fun. Okay.

Yeah.

Hey,

you're... you're late.

Wh-Wh-Where've

you been?

Uh,

there's a problem.

Wait, where's Gian

Piero and Massimo?

We were supposed

to pick them up.

Hey, what's going on?

Where are my Italians?

Huh?

I can't afford to

lose this one, Umberto.

Meat is now.

Me and the boy will work

all day to get

this order done.

It's a big, big order.

No, no, no. I... Believe me,

I know. Meat comes first.

Sure.

I've only heard it about

a thousand times from you.

I can't talk to you.

Here, you take this.

I'm really

getting sick and tired of

"the meat comes first. "

I'm sorry.

# Happy birthday ##

Quiet please!

Shut up!

I'm on the phone.

You're not

the only one in the park.

You know, at a certain point,

these kids just

wanna play soccer.

They don't care

about the meat.

Uh, do I have to say that?

'Cause that's gonna cause

some kind of

a dramatic situation here.

What are you saying, eh?

What? Hello? Umberto?

Umberto?

All right, guys.

We got 25 minutes

and a lot of beef to cut.

Let's get to it.

Watch me, boys, I'm goin' in!

Whoa!

We made it.

Sorry we're late.

Hey, Stew.

Hey.

Uh. Listen. One of... One of my

guys didn't bring his socks.

So, we forfeit.

You hear that, Vultures,

we forfeit. Let's go.

Come on! Run!

Hurry, run quickly!

Run! Run to the car! Run!

Don't look back! Run!

We won!

We won.

Two, four, six, eight,

who do we appreciate?

Vultures. Vultures.

Yeah!

Good job, guys.

Phil, it's freezing out here.

It's not Phil.

It's Coach Weston.

And it's not

freezing out here.

Then why did you

build a fire?

Because fire is

the stuff of warriors.

And that's what we are,

right? Warriors?

The Hopi Indians

called fire...

Coach, what are we

doing out here, anyway?

We're bonding.

We're becoming a team.

Surviving the elements,

here in the backyard.

Coach, did you order

the pizzas yet?

In due time, Connor.

In due time.

However,

I want all of you to know

if the pizzas don't arrive,

I've already

made the decision

that we will eat Byong Sun.

All right.

We're not gonna eat him.

But he does look delicious,

you have to admit, right,

if we had to eat someone?

Dad, you're

getting a little creepy.

I know,

let's all bay at the moon.

What?

You know, howl like a wolf.

Shut up out there!

You shut up in there!

Come on, everyone.

Bay at the moon.

Ooh, I don't know.

The Irish Cream

sounds good, huh?

What's that?

Uh, it's cream

and it's, uh, it's Irish.

Hurry up and order.

Excuse me. Thank you.

How about a smoothie?

What's in that?

Smoothie's a juice drink.

We want coffee.

Buddy, relax.

No, you relax.

I'm a regular here.

This line needs to move.

I beg your pardon.

Do you have scones?

Tall, non fat,

double latte...

Sir, you're at

the back of the line.

I recognize that!

Cut it out or

you're out of here.

You can't

kick me out!

You know, you're... you're

really invading my ear space.

I'm a frequent

coffee drinker.

I'm part of the club.

I have a card.

Do you have a card?

Do you have a card?

No, I don't

have a card.

Does anyone here

have a card?

We don't have

frequent drinker cards.

That's a video club card.

Zip it there,

Sporty Spice.

Are we doing this?

Is this happening now?

Yeah. Wanna go?

Great.

I'd love to.

Let's do it. Come on.

You're hurting me!

You're hurting me!

What is wrong

with you, Derrick?

I thought

we were friends!

My name is Andy!

Your name is Liar,

'cause you're telling lies.

You know what the odds are

I will never come

back here again?

There's a good

chance of that!

That's a chance

we'll have to take.

Okay, if that's how

you want to play it.

Okay.

I am disappointed!

Good.

Get the door! Get the...

Fine!

Tigers, bring it in.

Let's go.

Let's go, guys.

All right, Tigers.

Let's get ready

to play, huh?

I don't wanna see

any laziness there, okay?

We win this,

we're in the finals.

If we get a big lead,

we gotta pummel these guys.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes