Kicking & Screaming Page #7

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We gotta pummel them

at all costs.

Dominate and hammer them.

I want you to play dirty,

if you have to,

but don't get caught.

Byong Sun, stay low, okay?

That's easy for you.

Just chop block them

in the back of the knee.

That'll work well.

Ambrose, you're big.

Don't be afraid

to throw the elbow.

If you break

someone's collarbone,

that's a good thing.

That's what the medic's for.

Otherwise, he's just

sitting around, all right?

You hear me?

Hey, Phil.

I... I... I don't think that's

a very good attitude.

You can't talk about

hurting other players.

You don't think?

You don't... you don't think?

I don't think you

should be butting in

when I'm talking

to my team.

You're my assistant, okay?

You're supposed to

back me up

and go get me juice boxes

when I tell you.

Now go get me

a juice box.

You know who

you're talking to?

I'm talking to

the juice box guy.

You're crazy!

I'm not crazy.

I'm just thirsty.

Why don't you

go to hell?

No, you go to hell!

While you're there,

why don't you

grab me a juice box!

I'm no juice box boy,

I'll tell you that!

Yes, you are!

No, I'm not!

Yes, you are!

No, I'm not!

Yes, you are!

No, I'm not!

You're like your old man!

I'm not like

my old man!

If it weren't for these kids

I would whip your butt!

I can take a punch!

I'm out of here.

Bye-bye.

I'll see you,

Mr. Big Time Coach.

Bye-bye!

I'm not like my old man!

I'm a kind and gentle,

compassionate human being,

with a heart

as big as a lion!

We'll see you later,

juice box!

Everyone wave goodbye

to juice box.

Literally wave. Do it!

Parents, too!

Everyone waves!

Okay. Guys...

I only want

winners out on the field.

Who's a winner?

I said, "Who's a winner?"

I am.

Everyone's

hands should be up.

I am.

Okay.

Everyone bring it in.

Who are we?

Tigers.

What?

Tigers.

All right. Let's break

someone's clavicle. On three!

One, two, three.

Break someone's clavicle!

Hit the field. Let's go.

Your dad's a trip,

you know that?

Move it! Move it!

Huh.

Pick up that

piece of trash, Tom.

Tuck in your shirt!

What are you doing?

Have a sense of pride, huh?

In fact,

why don't you take a lap?

Go and run a lap!

I'm timing you.

Pick it up!

Faster!

Here we go! Bellissimo!

Whoa!

Let's go!

Over here, Son. Hunter!

He's right there.

He's right there.

Good. Good.

Yes! Hey, you just were served

a plate of humiliation.

How does that feel?

Hey! Off the field.

Off the field, Tarzan.

I'm off.

Defense! Come on!

You guys know

anything about defense?

Dad?

Yeah?

Dad? Dad?

Not now, Sam.

Can you put me in?

Later. Later.

Go grab some bench.

Come on!

There we go, Gian Piero.

You look good.

Think you can mark him?

Yeah, I could take him.

J.J., Zack, everybody see what

we got to do with these guys?

Four on one,

three on another, right?

We have to... We really have

to smother them.

Stop them.

Yeah!

Yes!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

Yeah! All right!

Hey! Hey! Hey!

Did you just push

a kid to the ground?

He fell down!

He fell down!

Play it up. Play it up.

Play it up.

Back and forth!

Victory! We're in the finals!

We're in the finals!

All right!

Losers! Losers!

Losers.

You're a loser! Loser!

We won, Byong Sun!

No. Phil!

Stop it!

Everyone should

get one of these.

Pass him around.

All right. I got him.

Pass him around!

Honey!

Okay. All right.

That's it. I got this.

Hold him down. Phil!

Get the rope!

What in the world

happened to your dad?

I don't know.

But I'll tell you one thing.

I'm never drinking

coffee as long as I live.

Wow!

Wow! Wow! Wow!

Wow! Wow!

What a day!

Wh-What is with the coffee?

Every home in Europe has

its own coffee press.

In fact, every room.

Okay,

you know what, Phil?

You gotta stop.

You've gone overboard.

What are you talking about?

You called a group of

I did not.

You screamed it

through a cone.

Everyone heard you.

What do you want me

to call them? Winners?

'Cause that would

make me a liar, okay?

And at least, give me that.

I am not a liar.

You just lied, just a...

When?

Just a second ago!

When?

About the cone thing!

Okay, you got me

on that one.

That's one lie,

though.

We're in the finals.

Am I the only one

who cares about that?

Where's Sam?

Well, Sam's up in his room.

Very upset. Very depressed.

Depressed? We won.

You didn't play him,

Phil.

I warned you about, this has

become all about you and Buck.

That is patently untrue.

And as far as Sam not playing

in the game, that's his fault.

What?

He needs to speak up, okay? I

can't worry about every player.

I can't talk to you

about this. No, not anymore.

I don't even

know who you are.

You're not human,

that's for sure.

You're like some

kind of animal.

An animal?

Yes, like a wild animal.

Where are you going?

I'm going.

Coffee will make

you feel better.

Barbara, are you

there? Pick up. It's me.

Game's about to start.

Where's Sammy? I thought

you guys were gonna meet me here.

Hello? Hello?

You know what,

I gotta run.

What are you?

Who dresses you these days?

What's this,

some kind of clown outfit?

No.

It's a Tiger outfit.

Good. Good.

Some of the cool stuff

I can do.

And you think this

suit's gonna help you?

We'll see.

Might be a good luck charm.

Okay, good luck, Son.

You're gonna need it.

Bring it in. Let's go.

Huddle it up. Come on.

Coach, um, where's Sam?

Because I don't

see him anywhere.

He'll be here.

Don't worry about it. Okay.

Guys, listen up.

Now I don't think it needs

to be said more than once

how important

today's game is, huh?

This is what

we've worked all year for.

Why are you whispering?

For dramatic effect!

Who are those

guys over there, huh?

Tigers.

They look like

pussycats to me.

What do you say?

Yeah.

Afraid of 'em?

No!

Okay.

You step on this field,

this is all about you.

I mean, I'm not gonna be

the one staying up late at night,

you know, punching a hole

through the window

or crying myself to sleep

or wetting my bed.

Okay? That's not gonna be me.

'Cause I'm fine.

I got my vitamin store

to go back to.

I'm gonna be just great.

I'm gonna be great.

Let me hear you say

that we can do this.

We can do this!

Again.

We can do this!

One more time.

We can do this!

You either win

and go on to greatness,

or you lose.

And probably face a series of

cataclysmic events

for the rest of your lives.

Bring it in, guys.

Bring it in.

Tigers on three. Whisper.

One, two, three.

Tigers.

One, two, three, Gladiators!

Good afternoon,

ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to the HHSO

Championship game.

I'll be giving

you a play-by-play,

blow-by-blow of

what promises to be

the game of the year.

Look alive!

Tigers versus the Gladiators.

Gladiators with the ball.

Immediately

stolen by Massimo!

Go!

Defense!

Push deeper! Deep! Deep!

He kicks it high.

It's a perfect pass!

Shot! Goal!

Yeah!

Are you ready for this?

The Gladiators with

some good ball movement.

Shot! It's off the mark.

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