Kid Cannabis Page #3

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Miles or kilometers?

Oh, k... I don't know.

It doesn't say.

Well, that's kind of

a big difference.

Kilometers or miles?

All right, we'll figure it out.

Where is it?

Right up ahead.

This corner? Oh, right here.

Hey.

Morning.

There's no f***ing way.

All righty, there you go, man.

Have a great day.

What's up, dude?

Hey, man.

My name's ted.

Hey, ted.

Ted. Topher.

Topher?

Nate Norman.

Nate.

Pleasure.

Pleased to meet you guys.

Well, how can I help you?

Well, um, looking to get

some bud.

No doubt. Okay, we've got the

sativas over here at this end,

And they're a really good head stone,

really uplifting kind of high,

Make you want to go to the park and

run through and look at the flowers.

We like getting high.

And then, uh,

Over here it's The Indicas,

which are kind of like the body stones,

Which, kind of like

wheelchair weed.

What's your favorite

strain, ted?

I love the King Kong, man.

Got a really nice burn to it.

You know, a lot of growers don't flush out the

fertilizer enough, and it makes you cough.

It's kind of harsh. The king Kong,

it's got this beautiful burn.

Really nice and potent, just...

Can we smell the king Kong?

Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

And the...

Oh, my god.

Some of the finest herb

in B.C. here.

Wow. Yep,

that'll get you high just smelling it.

Smells like Tinkerbell's wings.

Haha.

How much... Yeah, how much

does it cost?

We have 1800 bucks.

No, man, we don't sell

quantity here.

We're retail, not wholesale.

I think we should still...

Probably get some, yeah.

Well, check it out.

Holy cow.

Just walk away.

Pardon?

Bail. Bail.

Look around. This place

is crawling with D.E.A.

They got the whole place

under surveillance.

You buy here, try and get it

back into the U.S. Of a.,

You're facing federal

smuggling charges.

No parole in federal prison.

Walky walky.

Come on.

Take a right.

Right right right.

How far away are we

from this place?

About five, ten blocks.

Oh, great.

So, do you grow

your own sh*t, or...

uh, it's a plant.

It grows itself.

All right, take a right up here.

All right, man, just park anywhere.

All right.

Come on, come on, come on.

Watch your step.

My lady cut her finger.

Couple times.

All right, 1800 U.S.

Can we smoke a blunt first?

I just saved your ass and

you're trying to test me?

Give me the money.

Uh, okay.

You guys gotta go now.

Go! Go now. Go.

Run! Go!

This sh*t's like Mexican

goat f***ers' weed, man.

It's not worth me carrying

it across the border.

Yeah, well, did you get

a receipt from that guy?

'Cause maybe we can ask him

for a refund or some sh*t.

No.

Major tom to ground control.

Do you copy?

Yes, Mr. Fuckface,

I can hear you.

All right. So, I'll pick

you up in three hours.

Meet you at mile 8

on millstone lane.

Stay in the woods till I come get you.

Got it? All right.

Wait. Wait wait wait.

What?

Why am I carrying it?

Don't start now.

I'm just asking.

You're older than me.

Exactly.

You're in better shape.

You can obviously use

the f***ing exercise.

It's my car.

I can drive.

You can't drive stick.

Yes, I can.

No, you can't.

It's not f***ing stick, Nate.

I'm afraid of bears.

Like I'm f***ing not?

It's already decided, man.

You're in the suit and gear.

All right.

I'll do it next time, okay?

Get the f*** out of here.

F***ing right you will.

Jesus.

F***. Where the f*** am I?

While Topher was trying

to figure out

If the earth's magnetic poles

had shifted,

I was cruising back

to the home country,

Already dreaming about how I

was going to spend my money.

Hello, Nate.

Hi.

Where's Christopher?

Who?

Christopher Clark.

Oh, toph?

He hooked up with one

of Canada's finest.

I'm gonna go home and sleep

at my mom's house.

Way to rub it in.

Could you pull into the secondary

inspection area, please?

Man. Fine.

Jesus.

And there's no drugs in the car?

Take a look in the car.

Please. Please do.

As the inbred beagle was hitting

on a moldy corndog in my car,

Topher had gotten so turned

around, he ended up

Back on the same road

in Canada he'd started on.

F***.

Like I said,

He was from Boston.

I guess they don't get out

in the woods much there.

Open your mouth.

I was getting poked and prodded

For the second time that day.

I have to say, the second

cavity search

Was a lot less painful.

Drop your shorts.

I just wish he had taken

The class ring off first.

Yep.

Ground control, major tom.

Do you read me?

Ground control, major tom.

Do you...

Major tom, where the f***

are you?

Nate? Nate?

Who are you calling?

Who the f*** is this?

The f***'s this?

Nate. Nate!

Major tom, ground control.

Are you in?

F***.

Ground control. Where are you?

I'm at mile 8. Where are you?

Topher, I'm at mile 8.

Where are you?

Ah, f***. Jesus.

Sh*t.

Go go go go go go go.

Holy sh*t.

You okay? Yeah, man.

It was a long run.

Holy sh*t.

We did it!

We f***ing pulled it off.

I can't believe it.

We sold that first pound

in about five nanoseconds.

Between Topher and me, we knew all

the head cases in Coeur d'Alene.

We cleared two large selling

a pound of P.O.W. Dirt weed.

That was an eye-Opener.

We knew we had the demand.

Now we had to get the supply.

If we had real weight

in high-Grade rock star weed,

The sky was the limit.

So we went back up to Canada,

looking for a good connect.

Don't slow down.

Just drive normal.

Why wouldn't I drive normal?

There's a cop.

Who cares? It's a cop.

Who gives a sh*t?

He's doing his job.

Don't drive too fast.

Don't slow down.

I'm not slowing down.

Why are they f***ing...

Oh, sh*t.

Might as well pull over here,

where it's safe.

Drive forward more.

No stupid, f***ing,

juvenile jokes.

License, registration.

Hey. Can't actually find the registration,

I've had this thing so many years.

Were we doing

anything wrong, officer?

You're not wearing

your seatbelt.

You f***er.

Sorry about that, officer.

Where you boys headed?

Creston.

Yeah, we're going to visit

a friend in Creston.

Where does your friend live?

Uh, high near the school...

Right near the high school, sir.

By the high school. Yellow house,

I can't remember the name of the street,

But I know how to get there

once I see the school.

There's a steeple

somewhere, I think.

You remember your friend's name?

Y...

Yep.

What is it?

Uh, Michel, but it's a dude.

Yeah, mee-Chel.

Yeah, he's Russian.

French. Uh, both.

Both.

Russian.

Yes.

If you boys are looking

to score some weed,

You're in the wrong place.

You want to get on 36,

go north to nelson.

That's where Canada grows

its finest green.

Uh, okay.

You boys have a really good day.

Wear your seatbelts.

Thanks a lot.

Did he just tell us...

Go, go. Be cool.

Is he f***ing with us?

This is awesome.

Canada's the coolest.

Yes, $8. Go wild.

All right.

All right.

Smells good.

Tastes good, too.

You want a bite?

Isn't there some sh*t

about smoking at a gas station?

My dad owns the gas station.

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