Kid Cannabis Page #5

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Thank god she came out

with the invite,

Because right then,

I couldn't have driven a biscuit

Into a plate full of gravy.

I'm all for mixing

business with pleasure,

But I knew if this business

got done and done right,

There would be more pleasure than any

of us could handle without a spotter.

Thank god Topher was too dumb

To slop on the one condom

he brought,

Because I needed it to get the

sample weed back across the border.

I never really tested

my gag reflex before,

But f*** me if

the banana taste in lubricant

Didn't make me want to puke

like a sick puppy.

F***.

Hello, Mr. Norman.

Hi.

Right over

to secondary inspection.

Great.

That was the only time I ever

drove product across the border.

I had an eighth of durga mata

in my lower intestine

'Cause I knew I'd need it

to rustle up investors.

I just hoped it smelled and smoked

sweet after the journey it was taking,

And that they weren't gonna give me a

laxative and an hour on the shitter.

Drop them.

Hey, Barry. How you doing?

Nate Norman.

I have a business proposal

for you.

Hey, Barry. My name

is Nate Norman.

I have a business proposition

for you.

Barry Lerner.

Not his real name, fyi.

But someone I heard about through

this guy who used to run for butler.

Remember when I said butler should have

done less talking and more listening?

Feds have been trying

to nail Barry for years.

And if I had rolled on him,

I wouldn't be where I am today.

But he kept his word,

and I kept mine.

Can I get you another soda?

Uh, sure.

Anything else?

Uh, yeah. Could I have a beer sent

over to Barry Lerner over there?

Uh, what kind of beer?

What do you got?

We have a lot of different kinds of beers.

Just get what that guy's having

And send it over to him, please.

All right, six bucks.

Okay.

Two, three, six,

and as a bonus...

Here's some change.

Baller.

Thank you.

Barry was from Israel.

Not the beaches

with the beautiful girls part,

But the Munich revenge part.

He'd been charged

with five counts of murder

And aggravated assault,

but never got close to being convicted.

He brought ecstasy in

from the coast of Portugal,

Cocaine from south Peru,

and funneled money

From the streets of the

northwest into his accounts.

But his real love

and passion was weed.

It's from that kid

with the glasses.

Hey. Uh, Barry?

How are you?

Do I know you?

Nate Norman.

Do I know you?

I know you do business

with Brendan butler.

What the f***

is with Brendan butler?

It's cool, it's cool.

I'm not a cop or anything.

Know people who know people.

Look, why don't you go back to

your table and leave me alone?

"I am not a cop."

I have a business proposition for you,

if you're willing to hear me out.

I have cell phone stores.

Do you need a new phone?

Unhappy with your plan?

No. Then we have no

business to discuss.

Move on.

- What do you want?

- Where the f*** are you?

I'm doing business.

Just gonna leave me in bum-F*** Canada?

Seem like you're having

a good enough time, dude.

What kind of

business are you doing? Nate?

Dealing with a potential

financier. This could be big.

Okay?

Nate.

I'm crystal.

Hi.

Nate, what the f***'s going on?

Uh, Nate.

I know. I have something for you.

Come with me.

Nate, who is that?

I gotta go.

Sit down.

Okay.

Barry bought a dance for you.

I knew what Barry was doing.

Do you have anything else?

He was using her

to get all my info

And checking to see

if I was wearing a wire.

The guy was thorough, sharp,

and as detailed as a rocket launch.

And I was glad he was.

Stand up.

Okay. His ass was my ass if

this all turned to sh*t,

And let's be honest, I didn't

know what I was doing.

I was damn glad he did.

Taped it on her iphone

she says she want

to put it on viddy

but you gotta pay

for that look though really

get on your grind

like a good ho should be

there's enough tricks

and simps in the world today

for you to gather you

some big face fifties

make that p*ssy work for you

then bust it open

for a trill nigga

just like you 'posed to

if you don't comply

sh*t p*ssy only p*ssy

I'm a call me

another b*tch over

Barry says if you have

anything to say to him,

You can tell me.

Just talk, Mr. Big cock.

The clock is running.

Hi, Barry.

Here you are, sir.

This is better than anything

Brendan ever brought me.

I have a much better connect

than Brendan will ever have.

Oh, yeah?

Look, I'm honest and dependable,

And I will never run my mouth

off the way Brendan does.

The only reason I even

know about you

Is because he's always

full of beer and bullshit.

Talking about crimping you

And running with your money or whatever

ghetto sh*t he's talking about.

Hmm.

That is $666,000.

For 300 pounds.

It's 2600 a pound.

I'm paying 2200.

Okay.

Can I trust you, Nate?

Yeah.

You understand me?

You understand who I am?

Do you understand

what's going on today?

This goes beyond trust.

This is a second mortgage.

On your life.

If you were to burn me,

It would be

a very bad day for you.

And for anyone and everyone

you know.

I know that you would like

your little brother

Phillip to raise his grades

in Mr. Harris's history class.

I know you would like to see

your mother

Not have to refill coffee

for a living.

Yeah.

Do you understand

How easy it would be

To bury 170 pounds

of rotting meat

Where no one will ever find it?

I want you to remember

my words here.

I want you to keep it

in your mind.

And I want you to let it guide

Your actions.

I will.

Poppy.

I'll be right with you, son.

Go.

Yes, Vidal. We'll go

to the beach.

We go to the beach now, okay?

You and poppy.

Now that I had the top-Shelf

financing secured,

It was time to assemble

my "a" team.

But what I needed most was for

them to be mine, 100 percent.

One weak link

and my ship would sink.

Turned out I was gonna have to

whip donkeys into racehorses.

I've hand-Picked you guys

'cause you're all adaptable dudes

With no attitudes, just gratitude.

Am I right about that?

Mike hunt, you fed me

many times for free.

Now I'm gonna pay you back.

Terry, your dad being

a sheriff's deputy

Is gonna put us

at a huge advantage.

You're gonna be our eyes and

ears inside law enforcement.

Dustin, you're the only jock in high

school who didn't beat the sh*t out of me.

I appreciate that.

Even though I know you've got a burnt knee,

You're still capable of

kicking ass and hauling grass.

Dylan, you've always beat me

in paintball.

I want you to have my back in case things

go down O.K. Corral style, you feel me?

F***ing Patrick. I mean, we've been friends

since we were, what? Five years old?

Remember that time I got popped for

shoplifting and you took the heat?

Good man.

Scuzz.

You're just scuzz.

So I have one question,

and one question only.

Can I trust you?

Because we hold each other's

futures in our hands.

United we stand,

divided we fall.

And if we fall, it's because someone's

talking when they should be listening.

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